Blunt Edges

The Transporter

2011-09-03T15:28:00.003+05:30

He looked at his watch. He knew how much time he had. But it wasn’t entirely in his hands. “They” had to do it. He was just the transporter. He liked calling himself the transporter. True he wasn’t half as cool as Jason Statham, though he knew for sure that he had lot more hair than Statham could ever dream of. Well apparently they have these new hair transplantation thingies where you can grow your mane again. If Statham went for that, he would edge out this transporter in the only area where he was superior.

He looked at his watch again. Damn! It was almost time. What on earth were they doing? But he didn’t have the power or the authority to ask them anything. He was just the transporter. He got the package and was told the drop point. And he, well transported.

Another glance at the watch. Another sigh of exasperation. Are these people competing with a snail, he wondered. The recipients wouldn’t care whose fault it was. He can take the yelling, but what if they refuse to make the payment. The higher-up bosses will certainly catch his throat. No one would care enough to find out that he had got the package late!

Before he could sneak another look at the watch, they handed him the package. He rushed out. He had very little time left. He kick started his bike and raced away. There was a fair amount of traffic on the road. He expertly whizzed past it all. He knew he was riding faster than he normally is comfortable doing, but desperate times call for over-speeding. He chuckled at the quote he had come up with. “Desperate times call for over-speeding” was cool. Wonder if Statham could ever come up with something like that.

He realized he was almost there, as he looked at his watch. He took the last turn before his destination. Maybe he would make it just in the nick of time. That was the last thought that crossed his mind as he rammed into a parked van. He had taken his hand off the handle and his sight off the road to see the time, as he turned the corner, and had not seen the van parked there.

Less than 200 meters away, I looked at my watch. “Ok this is a first. It should have been here by now”, I thought. I picked up the phone, called them up, yelled, and within half an hour, was munching on my free pizza.

Who The @^*% Is Blunt Edges?

2011-04-06T00:19:00.000+05:30

Recently I got a mail from someone who I presume had been at my blog, which read:

"Dear Blunt Edges,

Who the @^*% are you?

Regards,

It was said in good humour, or wasn’t it?!?! We exchanged a couple of mails, and then I thought why not answer X here instead.

I’m a terrible blogger who surfaces once in a blue moon, and is unapologetic about it.

I’m not your guy next door, unless of course you’re actually my neighbour.

I’m the younger brother, who was jealous of his “better looking, better at sports, better at studies” elder brother his entire school life.

I’m the cricket fanatic who screamed his lungs out when India won the world cup.

I’m the guy who knows it’s not gonna be happily ever after with the love of his life, and has made his peace with it.

I’m the optimist who lives in the hope that the 2012 prophecy would be true.

I’m the guy who knows he’s definitely gonna get a dog one day and call it Kibber.

I’m the biker who gets pissed when someone calls his Avenger an Enticer, but beams when some kid in a rick at the signal points at it and shouts “Terminator ka bike”.

I’m the lazy ass who can hit the bed at midnight, sleep till 2 in the afternoon, and then start yawning around 4 in the evening.

I’m the IT guy who does zero exercise, even though he’s worried about the extra pounds he’s putting on.

I’m the sms addict who rarely sends out a text these days, coz his chat-friend isn’t in town anymore.

I’m the movie buff who still gets goose bumps when he’s watching Pulp Fiction.

I’m the reason Dominoes brought back the cheese burst pizza (or so I’d like to believe).

I’m the aspiring writer, who dreams of getting a call one day from some publisher asking him to write a book or some newspaper/magazine offering him a column (and a kick-ass pay of course!)

I’m the TV magnet who cringes at the sight of “reality shows”.

I’m the guy who was always approached by his friends in school to write love letters for their girls.

I’m the blogger who never finds the time or drive to blog, but suddenly gets tempted to do it, when something far more important demands attention.

I’m the guy who skips breakfast on most mornings for lack of company.

I’m also the guy who more than compensates for it during lunch and dinner.

I’m the bored reader who thinks I have just penned a load of crap.

I’m the employee who spends his week counting down to the weekend.

I’m the reason my Dad’s car has a major scratch on the rear left.

I’m the weirdo who hasn’t yet watched LOTR and Twilight for the simple reason that it didn’t appeal to him, and also the one who watched Avatar and Inception coz of all the hype and was bored within the first 30minutes.

In the words of the stupid common man, “Bheed toh dekhi hogi na aapne? Usme se koi ek shakal chun lijiye, main woh hu” ;)

I dunno if X would prefer this, or would just rather be content with my name and a link to my FB profile. Trust me buddy, you would never have got to know this much about me there.

PS: I’m also the blogger who hates seeing “0 comments” under his post! ;)

Time Travel

2010-12-29T15:42:00.000+05:30

A promo of a recent movie screamed out “If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?” (Oh come on MS Word “would it” sounds more correct than “it would”!)

This got me thinking. What would I wanna change if I were to travel back in time? And then it struck me!

*Rewind to the time when Blunt was somewhere in the 3^rd or 4^th grade*

Li’l Blunt was playing cricket at the base of his building. Now there’s something you need to know about Li’l Blunt. Like majority of the children, who played cricket in India, he too hated fielding. Hand him a bat or a ball, and he’s the happiest guy around, but ask him to field and he gets all grumpy.

So there he stood all sulking and grumpy, when the batter hit a shot past him and he was expected to chase the ball, which of course had crossed the boundary line, but still had to be retrieved nevertheless.

“BLUNT!” The bowler had yelled the moment the ball was hit. Like every other bowler to have ever played the game, this one too didn’t like it when he was hit for runs and inadvertently found fault with the fielder or the pitch or the weather conditions or luck or the quality of the ball or …(you get the drift right?)

Bottom line: It’s never the bowler’s fault!

“Not again!” Li’l Blunt muttered under his breath as he ran behind the ball. And then he saw it. The ball had hit the door of a cab parked there. The cabbie was washing his vehicle and looked pissed. Now you must realize that kids of this age, playing near their buildings used to play with rubber balls, the kind that didn’t cause much harm when it hit a cab.

The cabbie had picked up the ball and was staring at Li’l Blunt, anger venting out profusely from his eyes.

“Sorry” Li’l Blunt said meekly as he reached near the cab.

Cabbie: “Why did you hit the ball on my cab?”

Li’l Blunt: “My friend hit it here. I’m just fielding.”

Cabbie: “Don’t give me answers, when I’m talking!”

Li’l Blunt: “But you just asked me a question.”

Cabbie: “Shut up!”

Li’l Blunt: “I’m sorry. Can I have the ball back?”

Cabbie: “It’s not your father’s cab, that you can just come, hit it and go!”

Li’l Blunt: “Why you dragging family into all this? I said I’m sorry!”

*Whack*

The cabbie slapped Li’l Blunt right across his tiny face.

Li’l Blunt (holding back his tears): “Why did you hit me? I wasn’t the one batting, I just came to fetch…” (His voice broke away as tears started finding their way out of his eyes)

Li’l Blunt’s friends had by then gathered around him and were pacifying him.

“It’s ok buddy. Let him keep the ball. We’ll go back” They said.

“BUT WHY DID HE HAVE TO SLAP ME?” Li’l Blunt yelled over his tears and looked at the cabbie with all the anger his little eyes could conjure up.

“DON’T YOU DARE STARE AT ME!” That was the last thing Li’l Blunt heard before another *Whack* sound blared into his ear. The cabbie had slapped him again. And Li’l Blunt was crying non-stop. His friends dragged him away as he howled uncontrollably.

“I’ll go right away and tell my Dad about this and he’ll come kick the cabbie’s ass” Li’l Blunt told his friends when they were at a safe distance from the cab and the monster who drove it.

“No no. It will just create more problems. Let it be Blunt. It’s alright. You’ll be fine.” They said.

And Li’l Blunt just kept crying.

*End of Flashback*

And for some reason, this incident stayed with me all these years. And if I could go back in time and change it, I might have wanted the ball to break the windshield of the cab, or ram into his nuts, or maybe both.

PS: Haven’t been around that much and don’t even have an excuse for the same. Just plain old laziness and boredom creeping in. And I know this ain’t the kind of stuff I normally write, but it’s been 5 months since I last posted, so obviously I would be a li’l rusty :)

The Top Ten Blunt Edges' Pickup Lines That Never Work

2010-07-31T19:50:00.001+05:30

1. At a place of worship:

When she has her eyes closed and is in deep prayer, jump right in front of her and shout:

“Ta da! Your prayers have been answered!”

2. At the movies (Watching a sob-fest):

When she lets her tear glands loose, put your arm around her and in comforting style say:

“Though he is going away from her in the movie, I’m sure they are doing it off screen.”

3. At the movies (Watching a horror flick):

Shriek and cling on to her when a funny-looking ghost pops up on screen and don’t leave her for at least 5 minutes and keep asking:

“Did it go? Did it go?”

4. In a lift:

When you are stuck in a lift and you happen to have a travel bag with you, open your bag, take out your spare underwear, put it on top of your pants, and wrap your towel around your neck like a cape and say:

“Why fear when I’m here?”

And then press the “HELP” button.

5. At a bar:

You see her. She sees you. With a cool swagger, go up to her and ask:

“Do you dance here?”

6. At a bar – 2:

You see her. She sees you. With a cool swagger, go up to her and ask:

“Yikes! What is that smell? Is it you?”

7. At a bar – 3:

You see her. She sees you. With a cool swagger, go up to her and ask:

“Seen any hot chick around?”

8. At a hospital:

Jump right in front of her and with a sigh of relief say:

“Finally you decided to get the b**b job done ha?”

9. At a restaurant:

Seeing her at the opposite table with a group of friends on a binge night, get on your knees and act as if you are searching for something underneath your table and ensure you make enough of a scene that she, and better her entire group, notices.

Have your friend ask you: “What you looking for dude?”

Your answer (as you turn to the girl gang): “A weighing machine. Anyone seen one lately?”

10. Anywhere, anytime:

“I'm Blunt Edges’ friend."

Or better still.

“I'm Blunt Edges."

PS: The idea and the title for this post came from a random comment by Grayquill a while ago. So even though it was a completely sarcastic remark by one of my most elderly friends, I still wanna thank him. So thank you Mr. Grayquill :P

PPS: I know I haven’t been active in the blogging world for some time now. I haven’t even been over at your blogs and I have like a million tags pending against me. I’ll surely try to catch up slowly. And a huge thanks to all those who kept enquiring where I had disappeared. It feels good to know people noticed :D

PPPS: Wish all of you a very very happy Friendship Day :D

PPPPS: 115 followers? Unbelievably awesome! :D

Gang War

2010-05-23T18:00:00.001+05:30

Final year of college. A time when life is simple. A time when nothing worries you. A time when you command respect. A time when you are king of the world (er...if not the world, at least king of the college!)

Langda came home one day all furious and angry.

Idiot: “Wassup?”

Langda: ***Angry stare***

Idiot: “Some girl turned you down again?”

Langda: ***Angry stare***

Idiot: “Some professor yelled at you in class again?”

Langda: ***Angry stare***

Idiot: “You have attendance shortage again?”

Langda: ***Angry stare***

I and SG (Smart Guy) were watching this interesting episode unfold in front of us.

SG (to me): “Do you think we should tell Idiot to stop blabbering after Langda breaks his nose or before?”

Me: “You actually have doubts on that? After of course!”

Langda: “A first year guy challenged me to a fight and there were girls around when he did it.”

Me: ***Stifled laugh***

Idiot: “And what did you do?”

Langda: “I didn’t do anything. He was huge.”

Me: ***Another stifled laugh***

SG: “Boy this is embarrassing.”

Langda: “You don’t think I know that!”

SG: “I’m sure you know that. I was just trying to rub it in some more.”

Me: ***Bursts out laughing***

Langda made a plan to go the junior’s place at night and scare the living crap out of him. The script, screenplay and dialogues are all ready and put in place. All friends who have bikes and cars are called up to set up the ambience.

At exact 9pm, 5 bikes and 1 maruti 800 screeched to a halt in front of the junior’s place. Our roles were clearly defined. Langda, Idiot, SG and DrunkA were supposed to go and talk. The rest of us had to just keep on accelerating the bikes. In exactly ten minutes, I had to enter the scene and say the stupidest line of my life, “Hey guys make it fast. We need to go meet the Triggers at Kainos also.” (Triggers was a fictional “gang name” and Kainos was a pub nearby. I wasn’t even sure if they would get what we were trying to mean with “Triggers”, but then what the heck I was just an actor and all I could do was obey the director.)

And wait, I had some more stuff to do. My second line would be, “Which is the guy?”

SG would point out the guy to me and I’ll give him a threat-filled look in slow-motion from head to toe and back to head.

Sick, I know.

So we reached there at 9pm. We waited near the gate and the foursome went in. Idiot rang the bell and waited. Around 4-5 juniors lived there and we were 14 cool (apparently) people.

SG was supposed to give the opening line. The rest were to start after that. The junior opened the door and was flummoxed to see the crowd. Langda, Idiot and DrunkA were waiting for SG to start, but they didn’t hear a single word. They turned around to look at SG, who had held up a finger pointing at the junior, but no voice came out. Stage fright had gripped SG and he just couldn’t talk!

The entire effect created by the “gang” was wilting off. A smirk seemed to be appearing on the junior’s face. The remaining three weren’t prepared for this scenario. DrunkA realized it was time he came forward and took the initiative.

Fatak!

DrunkA slapped the junior right across the face. Everyone was stunned. This wasn’t planned. All the effect and more came back. The scene turned way grimmer than what we had anticipated. The rest of them said a few words and I thought its best to enter the scene and finish the whole drama.

“Hey guys make it fast. We need to go meet the Triggers at Kainos also,” I shouted.

The guys came back and as planned I asked SG, “Which is the guy?”

SG pointed at the junior.

I put on the coolest look in my armoury and nodded my head and looked at him from head to toe slowly and back up. And then I noticed him looking at me up and down with much more anger and humiliation venting out of his eyes, courtesy the slap.

“Damn!” I muttered under my breath as we left the place.

A Visit Home and A New Lesson!

2010-04-25T20:46:00.001+05:30

Every visit home teaches me some new stuff like the Pythagoras theorem, the theory of relativity and not to forget the Archimedes' principle. This time was no different. It thought me one lesson through different random incidents.

Scene 1:

I woke up the morning after I reached home. Mom got me my morning tea as I and Dad sat for a little Father-Son chat. It started off with an intellectual insight by Dad on the dinner prepared by Mom the previous night. I followed it up with a very thoughtful take on the dessert we had post-dinner. As Dad and I were peaking with one great point after the other, Mom called Dad for breakfast.

Both of us gladly hopped on for our first meal of the day. And when Mom saw me, she took me by surprise by asking the most unthinkable question: “Where are you off to?”

Me: “Eh? I thought you said its breakfast time.”

Mom: “Did you have your bath?”

Me: “Of course, I did.”

Mom: “Today?”

Me (sheepishly): “Err no. I didn’t realize you meant today.”

Mom (sarcastically): “Of course, you didn’t.”

Me: “Yeah big deal. I might as well have saved some water for the planet!”

Mom: “If that’s the case, you might just save some food for the planet as well. You know the rules here. No breakfast until you have your bath!”

Me: “Oh come on I’m not a kid anymore! Dad, see na.”

Suddenly Dad, who was listening intently and chuckling all this while, finds his breakfast interesting and starts staring at it as if he has to submit research papers on what constitutes his morning meal!

I let out a huge sigh and went for a bath.

Scene 2:

Lunch time at home. I had already downed what can only be described as the monthly food quota for an entire village. That’s when Mom leans to serve some more chicken on my plate.

Me (with a stuffed mouth): “No no, I’m full.”

Mom: “Are you kidding? What have you eaten till now?”

Unable to mouth anything (remember the stuffed mouth?), I just smile.

Mom: “You have lost your appetite.”

I smile some more.

Mom: “Here take some more chicken.”

I continue smiling, while Dad shakes his head.

Scene 3:

I and Dad are arguing about some very trivial issue. Now this is a very common occurrence. My visits home are incomplete without the mandatory argument with Dad.

This time it was about an IPL match. The situation heated up and decibels were raised. Mom sat between us playing solitaire on the iPod. I supported my claim with point by point analysis and live examples. I got Dad in a corner and almost literally shredded his stand and that’s when Dad took out his most lethal weapon: the veto power that all the Dads in the world seem to be born with.

He just walked off saying, “You are just talking nonsense! I don’t want to hear any more of this!”

I was left stranded there with a confused look on my face, while Mom gave out a smug smile, even as she continued playing solitaire.

So what’s the lesson I learnt from this visit home? “Some things never change!”

PS: Did you notice the new blog header? How’s it? It’s a gift from a very very sweet blogger friend for Blunt Edges’ second birthday. The said friend (yeah I have been sworn to secrecy) has sent me 11 blog headers and it’s very tough to choose a favourite, so I just randomly selected one and put it up. A huge thanks to the wonderful friend :D

If I Were...

2010-04-04T23:53:00.001+05:30

Saw this at Harini's and then at Annie's. It looked kinda interesting and since I can't think of anything fun to write, I thought I'll do it. So here it goes.

If I were a month, I’d be December.

If I were a day of the week, I’d be Friday (weekend).

If I were a time of day, I’d be 18:00 (swipe-out time).

If I were a season, I’d be Winter.

If I were a planet, I’d be Pluto (yeah I know it ain't a planet, but then neither am I!) :p

If I were a sea animal, I’d be fishy ;)

If I were a direction, I’d be lost! ;)

If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be the Bean Bag.

If I were a liquid, I’d be wet ;)

If I were a tree, I’d be the Banyan.

If I were a tool, I’d be the Hammer.

If I were a flower, I’d be dead (never gonna be a flower!)

If I were an element, I’d be Air.

If I were a gemstone, I’d be dead again (neither a flower, nor a gemstone!)

If I were a kind of weather, I’d be very very cold.

If I were a musical instrument, I’d be the Drums.

If I were a color, I’d be Denim Blue.

If I were an emotion, I’d be Fear.

If I were a fruit, I’d be a Mango. (do u know the word 'mango' is absent from the T9 dictionary on your cell?)

If I were a sound, I’d be an Applause.

If I were a car, I’d be a Black Porsche Cayenne.

If I were a material, I’d be Denim.

If I were a food, I’d be tasty of course ;)

If I were a taste, I’d be Salty.

If I were a scent, I’d be the Ferrari Black.

If I were an object, I’d be a Cell Phone.

If I were a song, I’d be "When I'm Gone" - Eminem

If I were a body part, I’d be the Fist.

If I were a place, I’d be Vegas.

If I were a facial expression, I’d be a Smirk.

If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be polished ;)

PS: Was watching American Pie 7 the other day and heard the corniest pickup line ever:

"The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word."

Corny, but funny! ;)

PPS: Blunt Edges turned 2 on April 2nd :D

THE END!

I Swear To Drunk I’m Not God!

2010-03-12T00:52:00.000+05:30

I was checking out the super hot girl who had just entered the pub. She looked around, evidently searching for a known face, and on not finding anyone headed to the bar counter. She perched herself on the high stool and looked towards the entrance.

“Probably waiting for someone,” I thought. “And maybe that someone is sitting here just staring at her unaware of the bigger scheme of things.” Sigh!

A tap on my knee snapped me back to reality. I turned to Absolutely-Sloshed-Friend (ASF). A very disturbed look engulfed his face.

“What?” I asked him.

He whispered something. I couldn’t hear him over the loud music.

“What?” I leaned forward and asked him again.

Again he whispered something. I gave him an irritated look and leaned even more ahead and said:

“Can you be a little loud?”

“I WANNA PEE!” He yelled into my ear. I bounced back to where I was sitting when this whole conversation began.

Me: “What’s the matter with you?”

ASF: “I said I wanna pee!”

Me: “I heard that loud and clear.”

ASF: “So?”

Me: “So what?”

ASF: “So I wanna pee.”

Me: “You have my blessings. Go ahead.”

Sober-Friend (SF) who had been quietly watching this scene till now decided to step in.

SF (to ASF): “I’m happy to see that you do take expert advice before venturing into such a delicate and important task.”

ASF: “Ok people. If funny is what you want, funny is what you get!”

ASF leaned back on the couch and starred unzipping his jeans.

Me: “Whoaaaaaa! What you doing sicko?”

ASF: “Well you just gave me your blessings, so I thought I might as well use them to pee.”

Me: “Ok listen. Lesson number 935. When you feel like peeing, close your eyes for a moment, think of all the good times you have had in your life, re-live them again in that one moment, then GET UP AND GO TO THE GOD DAMN LOO!”

ASF: “Eh?”

SF: “You didn’t understand what he said?”

ASF: “No”

SF: “Fine. Lesson number 936. If you don’t understand lesson number 935, punch yourself in the nuts and read lesson number 935 again.”

High-fives were exchanged between me and SF while ASF just stared at us blindly.

ASF: “I wanna pee.”

Me: “We have heard that. Tell us something new.”

ASF: “I don’t think I can walk by myself to the loo. I’m feeling a bit high.”

Me (sarcastically): “A bit?”

ASF: ***cold stare***

SF: “Oh. Couldn’t you have spared us this torture by telling this right at the start?”

ASF: “I’ll try the next time.”

Me: “Next time? What are you? An oil well?”

ASF: “Nope. A water tank. You got any problem?”

Me: “None, as long as it’s your tap.”

High-fives were again exchanged between SF and me. We got up from the comforts of our couch and pulled ASF up. I held his arm firmly and walked him to the restroom. SF walked a step behind us. We entered the restroom. There were 4 booths there. I and SF propelled ASF on to the fourth one.

SF: “Go on.”

ASF: “Not while you guys are watching!”

Me: “Just to set the record straight, we aren’t watching.”

SF: “Ok. We will move behind.”

SF moved a step backward all the while keeping a hand over ASF’s shoulder.

ASF: “Leave me!”

SF: “You are swaggering dude.”

ASF: “Whatever. But I can’t do it when someone’s holding me.”

Me: “Yeah but you sure can do it sitting on the couch right in front of a crowd!”

ASF turned around and put out both his hands.

ASF: “See. I’m still. I can do this. Now you guys just turn around and stop looking after me like I’m a little kid.”

Me: “Cool.”

Both of us moved on to the other side. I told SF about the chick at the counter and we decided to toss a coin to see who will be her knight in denims if she is still alone there when we get back.

Suddenly we heard water flowing. We turned and what we saw left us speechless. ASF was standing next to the fourth booth and peeing right where a fifth booth would have been! Unfortunately, there wasn’t a fifth one.

Before we could process what was happening, the door opened and two huge bouncer-type guys (BTGs) came in.

BTG1 (to ASF): “WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING? CAN’T YOU ****ING SEE WHERE YOU ARE LETTING YOUR ****ING HOLY WATER FALL?”

BTG2 (looking at us): “IS THERE ANYONE WITH HIM?”

I and SF looked at each other, and then at the BTGs, then at their biceps, and then finally at each other again. Both of us knew exactly what the other was thinking.

We looked back at the BTGs, shrugged and left the restroom.

Is It Strange?

2010-02-15T00:02:00.001+05:30

1. That this is the fastest consecutive post in the history of this blog? (Yeah it has a long history!)

2. That I carry 3 cell phones and less than 10 people have all the 3 numbers?

3. That I feel cheese-burst pizza is the best thing that’s ever happened to mankind? (Man how addictive is it?)

4. That I feel cheese-burst pizza is the worst thing that’s ever happened to mankind? (Man how many calories does it contain?)

5. That I feel Julianne Moore, at 49, is one of the most beautiful woman I have ever seen?

6. That I feel MS Word is wrong when it’s correcting me in the previous point that the word should be ‘women’ and not ‘woman’?

7. That the last 4 points started with ‘That I feel’?

8. That somewhere in my mind a voice is telling me that if I make a list it’s gotta contain 10 points?

9. That I have a favourite booth/urinal in the office restroom?

10. That I heaved a sigh of relief that the count reached 10?

11. That I like Coke more than Pepsi? (And yeah if you give me Coke and Pepsi without telling me which is which, I can still point out Coke!)

12. That I love watching movies at the theatre and watching them in the TV/laptop isn’t half as much fun?

13. That I’m addicted to SMS chatting? (On an ordinary day, close to 100 texts find their way out of my cell)

14. That I can’t, for some reason, enjoy the movies that have come before my time and are regarded as “classics” (read ‘The Godfather’ series and the like. Sholay is an exception)?

15. That in the previous point, I was confused of where to put the question mark, before or after the braces?

16. That on some days, my appetite touches sky-high limits? (No matter how much ever I eat, I still don’t feel full!)

17. That I’m gonna end this list on a totally non-happening count of 17?

PS: This is the 25th post on Blunt Edges. Thanks to everyone who has ever taken out time to read at least a single line here. And a special mention to the 68 followers, I must say, you have a great taste! ;)

The Nameless Award!

2009-12-17T02:32:00.002+05:30

Bliss has given me an award (but for some strange reason, it doesn’t have a name!). It just came with the following rules:

1) List 7 things about yourself that nobody knows.

2) Pass on this award to 7 other people.

3) Comment on their blog and let them know that they are tagged.

I know I have many tags pending against my name, but this one’s an award, yeah yeah I know it doesn’t have a name and a fancy pic, but it’s an award nevertheless (or so claims Bliss), so this goes first!

So 7 things about me that nobody knows ha? This is gonna be fun:

1. I’m an atheist. Yup, you heard it right. I ain’t anti-god or anything, but I just don’t pray. I’m not the kind who argues about the existence of god. I respect those who believe and their beliefs, and I expect them to respect me and my beliefs (or rather the lack of them)

2. I’m terrible with kids. I just can’t do the sweet-talk thing with them. I remember going to my cousin’s place and meeting his kid for the first time. They bought the kid and thought I might pick him up or talk to him or something. Six people stood around me waiting for my next move. And all I could manage was a wave of my hand at the kid, who seemed more relieved than me that he could go and do something fun than sit with me.

3. I’m dying to see when and who will be my 50^th follower. The list has been stuck at 48 for some time now.

4. I just can’t figure out why the world’s crazy over Angelina Jolie. Ok, she acts well, but sexiest lady in the world? NO WAY!

5. I’m not a morning person. I like it quiet in the mornings and I can get real sulky if I’m subjected to lots of noise. I normally carry on with that mood till I have my cuppa tea.

6. I have this weird habit of noticing the minutest of details of the movies I like. For eg. Did you know that in Rang De Basanti, Karan’s (played by Siddharth) character’s first and last line in the movie is ‘Nautanki Saala’

7. I have been working for a little over 3 years, and I already know I’m in the wrong field, but I still have no clue what I really wanna do!

So there you go, 7 things about me which I hope you didn’t know. And now I pass on this award (yeah IT IS AN AWARD!) to the following lucky people:

1. Shanu (It would be really fun to know your 7 secrets! Hope you do it!) :)

2. Iceprincess (There now you even have an idea for a post!) :D

3. Riddhi (I’m sure your list would be downright hilarious) :D

4. Grayquill (Never seen you do a tag. Try one for a change) :)

5. Ashley (Let’s actually see if you are 45 or 18) ;)

6. Madhu (There I tag you once more) :)

7. Meenakshi (Thought I would give you an award too) :)

8. Lakshmi (Maybe you can make it more than one post for this month) ;)

9. Anita (You should have a lot of spare time on the bench! Spare some for this tag) ;)

10. Zeba (Hope the intelligent blogger spills some secrets) :D

11. Nim (One more person who has lotsa free time!) :D

12. Parry (Let’s have some laughter here buddy) :D

13. Gayathri (I hope your first secret isn’t that you are related to Vishwanathan Anand) :D

14. Reflections (Just coz she loves awards, even if it’s a nameless one!) ;)

Yeah I know it went a little above 7, sue me :P

I Hate It When...

2009-11-28T20:29:00.002+05:30

1. People break queues in the office cafeteria. I would have given them a piece of my mind (and my arm) if it was outside.

2. I have to work overnight every alternate day and I come home at the most weird of times (read anytime between 2 to 6 am)

3. I’m expected to work on weekends also.

4. No matter how hard I work and how long I slog, there are atleast 2 other people in my team who work harder and slog longer.

5. I don’t get time to update my blog even though there are a couple of ideas in my mind.

6. I barely get time to read all the blog updates that pop up on my blog list.

7. I have to cancel movie plans with HC (Hot Crush) because of work.

8. She goes for the same movie with a guy friend and messages me saying she had loads of fun.

9. I see the ‘Happening’ song from ‘Main Aur Mrs. Khanna’. Whatever happened to the extemely beautiful Preity from ‘Salaam Namaste’

10. I can’t read Mr.Mind’s and Choco’s blog anymore.

11. I can’t think of a valid/funny 11th point!

12. Wait! I hate this too ->

It’s from my office restroom and I see it multiple times every single working day of my life and its strategic placement ensures I read it every time I go in for a leak.

So I do hate 12 (or maybe 11) things now, but there is one thing good that’s happened lately. I have been chosen for the ultra-prestigious, uber-cool ‘Superior Scribbler Award’ by Meenakshi. ***huge applause + standing ovation***

So now these are the rules that accompany this award. Talk about great responsibilities accompanying great power!

* Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.

* Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.

* Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post, which explains The Award.

* Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!

* Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

Since I don’t have a huge history of following rules, I’m gonna break the first rule! I have more than 5 favourite bloggers, so every single blogger who reads this can take the award and display it on their blog. But mind you, you should follow the rules. Only I can break them shamelessly ;)

PS: I'm not some weirdo who goes on clicking snaps in the loo, it was a one-off thing!

Namma BMTC (Not-so-loosely translated as ‘Our BMTC’)

2009-10-27T01:43:00.005+05:30

Everyone who has been to Bangalore and has travelled in the BMTC buses here, please raise your hands! (The rest of you can scratch your chins :D)

The BMTC bus conductor takes pride in not returning the exact change when you buy the ticket. If you give Rs.30 for a Rs.25 ticket, he’ll get you the ticket, and with a ease that comes only with years of practice, he’ll write “5” behind the ticket. Now this means that any time before you get down, you had better “remind” him that he has to return you the change, that is, if you actually want the change! But if by any chance you forget to remind him about the fiver, don’t expect him to remember and return it to you. Mind you, it’s not because he has any intention of keeping your money, but the simple reason is that he is a very very busy man, who doesn’t have time to remember about the trivial amount. Which, in fact, he could have easily returned to you the moment you bought the ticket as is bag is always overflowing with loose change, but he doesn’t. Because he wants to improve the collective memory of the citizens of Bangalore! (So nice of him na?)

And when you do remind him about the change, and he returns it to you, he’ll tear the ticket or scratch off the “5” just in case you don’t ask him for the change again later! You see, there’s room for only one smart-ass in a BMTC bus!

So, last week, I boarded a bus, found myself a seat, took out the cash and bought a ticket. And I was lucky enough to get a “7” behind my ticket (yeah I like to think of it as some kinda lottery ticket!) I didn’t know how much the ticket would cost and therefore couldn’t provide the exact change and ended up with the 7 on my ticket.

Now 7 is a very odd number. Yeah you would think it’s not even, so it’s odd. But how on earth is it “very odd”, right? It’s very odd because it doesn’t matter much when it’s a 1, 2, 3 or for that matter 4 behind the ticket. Even if I forget to ask it and lose the money, I feel it’s a small amount. It’s actually “change”/“chillar”. But when it touches 5, it kinda becomes not-so-small. Its half-plate panipuri! It’s a Cadbury Munch! It’s not chillar anymore!

So, mindful of the fact that I do have to remind the gentleman in khaki about the Rs.7 he owes me, I sat there listening to 'Hey there Delilah!' on my cell. Around halfway into the journey, the conductor came near me. And me being a Bangalorean with a reasonably good memory, said:

“Boss, saat rupaye dene hai” (“You gotta pay me 7”)

The conductor looked at me as if I had asked him to give me half of his salary! I thought the busy man had, as usual, forgotten about the money and dished out the ticket from my jeans. He gave a scowl and said something in Kannada. I normally can make out the gist of most things I hear, but this was a total bouncer.

I asked: “Kya?” (“What?”)

He: (muttering some more stuff in Kannada under his breath) “Where? Stop?”

I told him the name of the stop.

He: “You don’t ask. I give”

Saying this, he turned and walked back to the front. I was stunned. Now this was a first. They normally mutter stuff and pay. By the time I regained my composure and thought I should say something, he was standing next to the driver.

I shook my head and suddenly realized that everyone around me was looking at me.

Tish-phish-doom-shoom-BOOM!!! And there lay my ego on the floor of the bus all splattered and squashed!

I just did what a man does in situations like this. I switched the song to Nickelback’s 'Rockstar' and started playing Mini Golf on my cell! So, engrossed was I putting the ball in the hole that I didn’t realize that my stop had come. I jumped out just a quarter of a second before the doors of the bus closed and that’s when I remembered that I never got the 7!

I looked into the bus and saw the conductor looking at me from the window. I gave a scowl back and stared at him. The bus started moving slowly and I had to cross the road. He was still staring at me from the glasses at the back of the bus and even I didn’t move my gaze. Time stood still as neither of us looked away. The silent mature battle of the egos of two fully-grown men was on full display to the entire world but not a single soul apart from the two of us knew about it!

“You ain’t gonna win this one dude!” I yelled at him without saying a word.

SCREEEEEEECHHHHHHHHHH!!! A car braked right next to my legs. I had walked right to the middle of the road staring at the conductor.

“You blind *******! Can’t you ******* see and cross the road? Bloody ********”...” that’s the last thing I heard as I ran onto the other side of the road far from BMTC conductors and angry drivers!

Note: I know I haven’t posted in a long while. And writing this one also took some effort with all the rustiness creeping in. A huge thanks to all the people who at some point or the other coaxed me to update. It really feels good to see people wanting to read something I come up with. I have never been prolific with my posts: 20 posts in 18 months isn’t something to boast about. All I can say in my defence are the famous lines by Miss Kido:

“Cowards blog everyday...The brave blog but, once in a while!!!”

My First Time

2009-09-09T01:15:00.002+05:30

"The first time, they say, is always special.

The first time, they say, is always memorable.

The first time, they say, is the best."

My first time was in college. I had stayed in the college hostel for the first sem. N after 5 or so months of terrible food, a terrible timetable n an even more terrible warden, we shifted. “We” is a group of 4: me (has there ever been a “we” without a “me”), Idiot, SG n Langda.

Note: These characters (yup they really were some characters!) have made fleeting appearances in A Police Story and Jhumbalaka Jhum.

So “we” found ourselves an apartment n started a new life without any warden, without any timetable n most importantly without any food. Idiot n Langda claimed they can cook like a dream, guess all they meant was they can cook IN their dreams. So we ended up eating outside all the time!

Now the problem was that we almost always skipped breakfast coz by the time we woke up n pulled ourselves to college, it would be late. N we all being quite “liberal” eaters, this directly affected our academic performance ;)

Then one day Idiot came with the news that a lady in the building provides breakfast to many families there. He suggested that even we should try this breakfast outsourcing thing to which we all readily agreed coz when it comes to matters of food, no one argues with Idiot!

So it was decided! The lady was assigned the honour of getting us the 1^st meal of the day every morning n we could no longer give “lack of breakfast” as an excuse for not performing well in the exams!!!

N thus started our tryst with idlis, dosas, neer dosas n the like. She used 2 get it by 7.30 every morning and we had to tell her how many plates she should get the next day. Plain n simple.

The food was good, we were happy, but for some reason, our grades never improved!

The lady knew only kannada and only SG knew the language of the land. So we were at his mercy 2 talk 2 her every day. One day SG wasn’t there and this lady came n said something, which by our loose translation skills meant: “My kid will bring in the food tomorrow”

Now this lady had 2 children: a teenage daughter and a school-going son. We got into a guessing game about who would bring the food the next day. No points for guessing who the favourite was! :D

So the next morning, the 3 of us woke up early n waited for the breakfast to arrive. The bell rang! I beat the other 2 to open the door. N there was a 10-year old kid standing at the door with our food.

***Collective sigh***

Sadly, I took the food and passed it to Langda, who, even more sadly, took it to the kitchen. The kid hung around to get back his plates n all of us just ignored him. That’s when he asked me THE question: “Mummy asked how many plates should I get tomorrow uncle?”

***Silence***

“Uncle?”

***More silence***

“UNCLE?”

“OK! Four, FOUR, FOURRR!”, I think I might have shouted!

He ran off scared. My friends were still in shock. N not a single soul spoke for 5 whole minutes. N the silence broke after exactly 5mins, when Idiot asked, “Breakfast anyone?”

N that’s the first time someone called me “uncle”.

"The first time, they say, is always special.

The first time, they say, is always memorable.

The first time, they say, is the best."

Wish I could get my hands on the moron who said that!

A Threatening Tag!

2009-09-02T01:25:00.015+05:30

Shanu has tagged me n if she had the option, she would have pointed a gun 2 my head n forced me 2 fill this tag atleast 24hrs before! So here it goes...

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4 –

Book? ***looks around the room...scratches head...gets up from the comfort of the bed n walks around in search of a book*** YESSS!!! Got it!!!

The book (or rather a training manual) is “OOAD with UML and Rational Rose” and the 4^th line of page 18 is:

“A class may have any number of operations or none at all.”

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can & catch air? –

The wall.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? –

Watched MTV last...n the last song I saw was “Wake Up Sid” (its kinda catchy!)

4. Without looking, guess what time it is? –

01.00 am

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time? –

12.50 am

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? –

The fan whirring ;)

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? –

Around 10.30 pm...met my friends!

8. Before you started this Q&As, what did you look at? –

This same tag done by iceprincess (n the fact that SHE could do it...spurned me 2 do it ASAP)

PS: she’s been dormant 4 a long time

9. What are you wearing? –

Dark blue track pants and a blue tee.

10. When did you last laugh? –

When I was out with my friends (refer the answer to qsn no. 7)

11. What is on the walls of the room you are in? –

Paint :P (I have had this same qsn in an earlier tag and I had given the same ans) :D

12. Seen anything weird lately? –

Yup! TAGS!!! Almost every blog I visit has had atleast one tag in recent times!

13. What do you think of this quiz?

Shanu ensured that the only thought that came 2 my mind is FEAR by repeatedly threatening me 2 complete the tag within the deadline!

14. What is the last film you saw? –

The Proposal (a one-watch movie at best)

15. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy? –

Shanu...n force her 2 write 4 my blog...lol :D:D:D

16. Tell me something about you that I dunno! –

My favourite words are “nirvana” n “nostalgia” :)

17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? –

I would ensure that every single person on the planet sends 10% of his/her pay to the Blunt Edges Trust (BET) :D

18. Do you like to Dance? –

I suck at it but yeah I do like it!

19. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? –

Tamanna

20. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? –

Akash

21. Would you ever consider living abroad? –

I might.

22. What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? –

Finally I can retire to the countryside, now that u r here to take over! :D:D:D

N there I’m done! :D

I have never tagged anyone before...but I think I’ll tag 3 people who have tagged me at some point or the other...so perplexed, Lakshmi and Jyoti, consider urself tagged :D:D:D

Updated: I also tag Madhu...whom I have just educated about tags in the comments section :D
may this be the 1st of many more tags 2 come 4 this 1st timer ;)

Updated again: I guess its just a season of pointing guns at me! Reflections has done the same thing n has ordered (yup, u heard it right!) me to tag her ASAP! N me being the innocent little kid can only comply ***innocent look***
So, I hereby tag Reflections too. Enjoy the tag woman! :D

News!

2009-08-25T22:44:00.011+05:30

Good News (GN): I’m posting!

Bad News (BN): There isn't anything particular that I have 2 say!

GN: I got a project :D

BN: Gotta work there :(

GN: Watched love aaj kal :D:D:D

BN: Didn’t watch kaminey :(:(:(

GN: Went home :D

BN: Had 2 come back :(

GN: Ate a lot when I was there

BN: Which somehow is directly proportional 2 the amount of calories that find a place on the human body (strange isn’t it?)

GN: I’m running out of good news!

BN: Death toll coz of swine flu is increasing on a daily basis

GN: Apparently some drug has been discovered 4 it

BN: Apparently that isn’t confirmed news

GN: As I said before, I’m really running out of good news!!!

BN: My cell konked off...n I was cell-less 4 an entire day!

GN: My cell’s working fine now :D:D

Since I’ve completely run out of news...I’ll post 5 random questions that anyone can choose 2 answer :D

1. What’s the English word for “majboori”?

2. What’s the last name of Madonna?

3. Why do we (Indians) pronounce “Z” as “Zee” when we talk of the bike CBZ, but pronounce it “Zed” otherwise?

4. Which was the 1st cell number ever?

5. Does anyone know what the point of this whole post is?

Update: Thanx 2 Miss Kido n Choco, I have got a few blogging awards of late...u can see those on the right of ur screen :D:D:D

The Change We Need & A Tag We Need!

2009-07-30T16:46:00.006+05:30

For the first time on this blog, I’m attempting to write in “proper” English. Now this simply translates to no sms lingo (I know how boring!)

Different people at different stages have commented on my blog about the discomfort they have faced while reading the posts because of the “sms-style” of writing and I am not even making an attempt to talk about the many others who have told that to me in person! ;)

Here are the comments (in the order in which they were posted) that have persuaded me to try this “new” (read uncool) kinda writing :D

1. “and murderer...Rats/mouse/rodents are one thing, thts one mouse (/rat/rodent)i don't have to worry about! but whats the excuse of murdering english language??
same pinch at that one..i used to do exactly the same. it was before i came to know about the 45 rs,450 sms pack (thats is now 45 rs 350 or something, so everyone now resort to 70 rs 700 sms +35 A2A free calls) airtel had to offer.
i hd 2 shrtn al my msgs x unrdbl sntncs SAT(so as to) tel my clsmte 2 brng QM nts,n also bt wot d tchr tot wen i ws sleepin etc..
was really hard to snap outta that habit.infact am still working on it.
other than this tiny minuscule atomic microscopic hardly noticable kunji defect i just loved the blog. blogrolling you, following you(i havent even published your comment yet. couldnt wait to read the blog..:))”

2. “brother,english is bleeding!!!;)”

3. “Ahem! SMS lingo is torture mon ami.
Your english teacher is turning in his/her grave.”

4. “hello murderer”

5. “IthinkIfollowedthejistofthestoryithinktheratwaskilled. Iamoldandallthatshorthandlingowasjustwaytohardformeandwaytomuchwork. Ifeelkindoffoolishbecausefiftysevenotherswereabletoreaditjustfine.R U FLN IR8ED YT? :)))”

6. “murderer!... well, am outta blogsville soon, wish i get to see one post of urs that doesn't spill good old tough english blood before i go!!!”

And people think being a famous blogger is easy (sigh! Ask me ;)). As my good friend what-on-earth-was-his-name said, “With great power, comes great responsibility!” :D

So, for the sake of his beloved readers, blunt edges, who normally treads his own path, puts in an extra effort (this is way tougher than it looks!) and walks on a track that the world follows (I have no clue why I wrote that line in the 3rd person! :D)

This post is dedicated to the blogger who came up with comment number 6. Hope this post gives you reasons to stay back in blogsville :)

Moving on to the actual post (yes, that was just the reason for me changing my writing style). I have been tagged by Lakshmi and Jyoti. This tag has some questions and all of them require me to give 4 answers. So here it goes:

4 places I have lived:
1. Mumbai: This was were I was born (it was called Bombay then) and spent the first half of my life. My first home!
2. Kerala: Home sweet home :D That’s where my folks are and that’s where I eat the most ;)
3. Mangalore: Spent my college days here. And St.Aloysius is the best place on earth!
4. Bangalore: I work here. I live here. I blog here.

4 TV shows I love to watch:
1. F.R.I.E.N.D.S (season 1-3)
2. F.R.I.E.N.D.S (season 3-6)
3. F.R.I.E.N.D.S (season 7-9)
4. F.R.I.E.N.D.S (who can forget season 10)
Yeah I cheated. Sue me :P

4 places I have been on vacation:
I ain’t much of a traveling person. And I usually go to places for a short visit (meaning a day or two). Does that qualify as a vacation?

4 of my favorite food:
1. Sea food!!! ***slurp***
2. Pizza (cheese burst is the current favorite)
3. Gajar ka halwa (and only when my mom makes it)
4. Pav Bhaji :D

4 websites I visit daily:
1. My blog
2. My mail
3. My company HR site (to check if I have enough attendance to leave early :D)
4. Google (for something or the other)

4 places I’d rather be:
1. In a casino in Las Vegas (with loads of cash on me)
2. On a beach in Brazil
3. Home
4. Another casino in Vegas (with loads of cash on me) :D:D

4 novels I wish I was reading for the first time:
Eh? That wasn’t for me, right?

4 movies I can watch over and over again:
1. Dil Chahta Hai
2. Rang de Basanti
3. The Departed
4. The Matrix

4 things I hope to do before I die:
1. Learn to juggle with knives (really!) :D
2. Learn to play the guitar
3. Drive a merc
4. Find the secret to immortality :D

4 people I want to tag:
Not tagging anyone, though you are free to tag yourself if this interests you. Please do tell me if you do it :)

Phew! Talk about hard work! Where’s my pizza???

Mic Testin…1-2…1-2

2009-07-14T16:52:00.011+05:30

My entire school life, I had a trustworthy companion who neva left my side…someone on whom I cud always fall back on weneva d world turned against me: ladies n gentlemen plz put ur hands together 4 my childhood frnd: STAGE FRIGHT!!!

I always tried 2 avoid situations whr I had 2 speak in front of a crowd…my class was ok…but anything more meant I just disappeared from d spot! ***poof***

I hv actually run away frm my school durin “Arts Day” so dat I don’t hv 2 get on stage 4 “English Elocution”…speakin fluently in class translated 2 me bein automatically selected 4 these competitions…n all I cud do was run away wen my turn came n return after d event 2 get an earful frm my lecturer (which was way better dan getting on stage)

So dis, my frnds, was d foundation, so dat u guys knw how frightened I was of d menace dat dey call a stage!!!

Scene 1:
Me in d 9th grade…d date’s 26th Jan (note 2 my “international readers”: its republic day in India :D)…I’ m awaitin my turn 2 get on stage

Background:
One person frm every class had 2 give a speech…we had a new lecturer as our class teacher n he din knw abt my history of runnin away frm d warzone…n d ignorant guy selected me! I pleaded wid him dat I aint d right person…I also told him abt my past escapades but none of dat had any effect on him n I cudnt even run away frm dere coz I was d only one representin my class :(

So resignin 2 my fate I prepared a speech…it was a “different” speech in dat I wasn’t talking much abt 26th jan but was concentratin more on wat it meant 2 be a republic nation…a pretty gud speech on paper alright

Back 2 d scene:
Someone frm d 10th grade went 1st n I din hear a word of his speech coz I was dead tensed...my name was called next n I went onto d stage n dis is wat I said:

“gud mrng everyone…today as we celebrate one more republic day, I want 2 ask u all something…wat do u mean by republic? ***blank*** (voice choking) hmmm…wat do u mean wen u say we r a republic country? ***completely blank***
Hmmm…er…(cursin under my breath, I turn n luk at d princi) sorry sir”

Scene 2:
Me in 12th (yup we had schools till 12th)…d date’s 5th sept (note 2 my “international readers”: its teacher’s day in India :D)…I’ m awaitin my turn 2 get on stage

Background:
2 ppl frm each class had 2 give a speech…I was again chosen (dis time by a teacher who wasn’t around durin my 1st debacle) 2 represent d class…again I went thru d entire routine of explainin 2 him why I was d worst choice 4 dis noble deed…but none of it worked…n even d god-damned princi had changed (otherwise atleast he wud hv ensured dat I don’t get on stage!)

So I decided 2 keep it very simple dis time…I wil just talk abt how teachers play a huge role in our lives (wat crap!) n things like those coz dat way I don’t hv 2 memorize anything n so ders almost no chance I’ll screw up

Back 2 d scene:
My classmate finished her speech (she read out her speech!!!)…n my name was called…n den started d magic!

I was coolness personified…wid no external signs of any nervousness, I trodded calmly onto d stage…faced d audience…my modus operandi was straight-frwd…just give a single line on why teacher’s day is celebrated n den move on 2 d nonsense talk abt how teachers rock

N I did just dat…I was a picture of poise as I bluffed n bluffed n bluffed some more abt how imp teachers r 2 society n 4 d creation of a better nation…I started emphatically…continued wid ease…n ended wid a flourish!!!

D applause was deafenin n it seemed d whole world had paused 4 a moment 2 cheer dis hero who had risen frm d ashes of his last debacle n touched heights dat ordinary mortals only dream of!

But wat was dis? Amidst d sound of claps, I cud hear a few sniggers…I luked around n saw some students pointing at me n laughin like crazy…

A confused luk swept my face…dats wen a kid frm d 5th grade took pity on me n decided 2 enlighten me…he held my hand n said, “bro…teacher’s day is celebrated 2 honor d bday of Dr. S. Radhakrishnan n not Dr. Rajendra Prasad!”

I just did wat I did best…I disappeared! ***poof***

Slam Book

2009-07-02T16:05:00.008+05:30

I got dis in a mail…thot it wud be more fun if I put it here (n actually get a blog post in d bargain…m I smart or m I smart?) :D

Name: Blunt Edges

Meaning of Your Name: err…edges dat r blunt?!?! It goes wid d theory dat sharp edges hurt…blunt ones don’t :)

Birthday: blunt edges was born on Wednesday, April 2, 2008…m a lil older dan dat (around 20-odd days) coz my bday is on March 10 ;)

About Me: I like 2 believe I’m funny…I neva knew wat I wanted 2 do wid my life…sumwhr I had a tiny inkling 2 be a writer who comes up wid articles dat hv cheeky humor in it (a la jug suraiya)…n dats wat prompted me 2 start dis blog…a place whr I cud write random stuff n also get 2 know wat others think abt it (n dis probably is d most serious para dis blog has ever seen…OMG!)

Turn Ons: gud luks (obviously!), intelligence, humor, a quick n smart mind dat gets my jokes! ;)

Turn Offs: bad breath, body odor, blank luks wen I crack jokes (I get a lot of these kinds arnd me!)

On What Occasions Do You Lie: diwali, xmas, holi n ramzan ;)

Greatest Fear: dat I mite actually post something on d blog n not get a single comment (yikes!) :

Favorite Color: blue, grey

Favorite Pass Time: playin nfs-most wanted (vrrrrrrrooooooooooommmmmmmmm)

Favorite Movie: hindi – dil chahtha hai
english – the departed

Favorite Movie Character: maximus (gladiator)

Favorite TV Show: F.R.I.E.N.D.S (I hv d entire freakin series…yay \o/)

Favorite TV Character: phoebe (F.R.I.E.N.D.S)

Favorite Song: hindi – in dino (life…in a metro)
english – boulevard of broken dreams (green day)

Happy: wen I get gud comments on my blog (plz get d point n type out some gud comments!!!)

Sad: wen India loses a cricket match :(

One Night Stands: adventurous…its probably d most intrstng thing since India’s independence n my birth :D:D

Love: seafood, pizza, bein wid family (coz I don’t get 2 do dat often), hangin out wid frenz, listenin 2 great music, reading gud comments on my blog (I REPEAT!)

Hate: rains (okkkk…stop gaspin…its true…I can’t stand it), exams, work, veggie food, ppl wid no sense of humor

Best Advice You've Ever Got: yeah rite...as if I let ppl come n advice me :P

Philosophy of Life: eh? ***scratches head***

Ahh…now all of u knw me :)

Note 2 all my blogger frenz: if u want a post idea, take dis up as a tag (i.e., if u hvnt already done anything similar n hv no other job) n plz let me know if u do it!

Note 2 all my non-blogger frenz: hello :D

Note 2 self: stop foolin around n finish d friggin post!

The End!

Tring Tring!

2009-06-23T11:33:00.003+05:30

Dis is a telephonic conversation I had wid my mom sometime late last year wen my big bro (BigB) had come down 2 India

Me: heyllloo!
Mom: hello…who’s dat? (yeah she does it every time we talk…even wen she calls!)
Me: its ur son
Mom: sigh…no one new calls me
Me: yeah…I hv given ur number 2 james bond…he’s busy dis week…told me he’ll call u next week
Mom: very phunny
Me: he he
Mom: so wats new?
Me: na…nothing…returnin home from work…I hope I get a project in electronic city soon…d food here sucks
Mom: I asked “wats new?” din ask u 2 repeat d same thing dat I hv been hearin from d day u got a project in madiwala…don’t u IT ppl get d meanin of “wats new?”
Me: ahem…now who’s tryin 2 be phunny
Mom: teri maa!
Me: he he….dats more like it…so wats hapng at home? Wats BigB upto?
Mom: he has gone out wid frenz…ha btw something new did happen today!
Me: wat?
Mom: I got a call in d mrng
Me: james bond?
Mom: SHUT UP!
Me: lol
Mom: it was someone from my hometown
Me: who?
Mom: it’s a family dat we knw…though I dunno dis guy personally
Me: ok…so wat was it abt?
Mom: he took half an hr 2 give an intro abt himself…n reflected sadly on how our families hv lost touch
Me: tch tch
Mom (ignorin my false sarcasm completely): he was telling me how someone told him dat BigB was in d UK
Me: he called 2 say dat???
Mom: WHY CANT U HEAR D WHOLE THING FIRST?
Me: ok ok…carry on
Mom: so he said dat he knows abt BigB n he has a daughter
Me: hohoho
Mom: wat r u? santa?
Me: na…a project engineer…lol
Mom: yeah d one who rarely has a project…rite?
Me: grrrr!!!
Mom: lol…n u thot only u can be smart ha? Whr do u think u get ur funny genes from?
Me: from outer space! So u were sayin?
Mom: he he…yup his daughter is a software engineer in blore…n before I cud say anything, he went on abt how much dowry dey wud give n abt d flat dey wud book in BigB’s name
Me: whoaaaaaa…now we talking!!!
Mom: I tried interruptin him but dat guy just kept on talking…so I just kept quiet till he was done
Me: so how much moolah do we get? ***snigger***
Mom: ha ha ha…anyways wen he was done, I told him dat BigB isn’t exactly planning 2 marry now…n he asked BigB’s age n apparently his daughter is elder
Me: sigh…n 2 think all dat money wil find its way into some other family
Mom: wait…it doesn’t get over dere!
Me: den?
Mom: den he asked me “u hv one more son rite?”
Me: whoa whoa whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Mom: he asked me wat u r doin? N I told him whr u work n all
Me: m sure he must be impressed…buhahaha (my false pride-filled laugh)
Mom: yup a lot…he said he has one more daughter n she’ll finish her engineerin next yr
Me: arre wah…any chances of getting her snap???
Mom: NO!
Me: her number?
Mom: NO!
Me: her mail id?
Mom: NO!
Me: ok…r u gonna say anything other dan “no”?
Mom: NO!
Me: cool…wats her name? M sure u atleast asked dat…din u?
Mom: NO!
Me: I m so gonna be single all my life!!! ***dramatic sigh***
Mom: u found dat out now? Ha ha ha
Me: DATS IT…I’M HANGIN UP…got work!
Mom: wat work? I thot u were returnin from work?!?!?!
Me: gotta find myself a gal…obviously u aint gonna help…rite?
Mom: lol…best of luck bachha
Me: THANX! Well thinking of it…I sure do need a lot of luck 4 dat…hmmm ta ta
Mom: buh-bye

Click!

Mom (thinking): aaj kal ke bachhe!
Me (thinking): aaj kal ke moms!

Jhumbalaka Jhum

2009-06-11T11:41:00.009+05:30

A couple of my readers (I like d sound of dat: “my readers” :D) read my prev post, A Police Story, n reminded me of another incident dat hapnd wen I was in coll…one dat changed d life of someone drastically…so eventhough these 2 readers (ahh…heaven) were lazy enuf 2 not comment on d post (yeah I aint eggjhactly d laziest person around ;)), I still wanna thank dem 4 givin me d idea 4 a post…

I, d bluntest of all edges, hereby thank M n P (in alphabetical order) 4 bringin d legend of jhumbalaka jhum (ok I shud hv shouted it out: D LEGEND OF JHUMBALAKA JHUM…dats more like it) 2 life ***drum rolls***

Cast: Me (duh! M d hero obviously), SG (aka Smart Guy), Idiot, Ro

I was in d final yr of my coll…we had moved into a house dat was literally just a stone throwaway frm d almighty institution (4 reasons dat r still alien 2 mankind coz we rarely attended coll)

D day in qsn was a typical weekday wen we had bunked coll n were just whilin away our time tryin 2 figure out who among us can surf thru all d channels of d tv d fastest (u shud try it out sometime…its productive n gives an insight into ur deeper dormant personality)

Suddenly, idiot, who was sent 2 d kitchen 2 get food, came out runnin n luked as if he had just seen a ghost

Idiot: ders a mouse in d kitchen!
SG: r u sure it’s a mouse? It cud be a rat
Ro: wats d difference?
SG: well ders gotta be something…otherwise why wud dey hv 2 names?
Me (who was busy swappin channels): YES…beat dis…I clocked 42secs!!! (lukin at idiot) whr’s d food?
Idiot: HOLY CRAP…m I livin wid a bunch of fools or wat? Ders a rat slash mouse (he meant rat/mouse) in d kitchen n it ran into d store room wen I walked in dere…its huge!!!
Me: ohhhh…so why din u get d food?
Idiot: %&#*&$@!&$# (god bless my relatives)

So all of us reluctantly went n checked out d scene of crime…d store room, which was perpetually closed, did hv a hole on its door…after our brief (very very brief) investigation, we concluded dat d next time d rat (or mouse or rodent or wateva) decides 2 visit, he’ll regret it…SG was abt 2 start a debate on whether it was a he or she…but Ro’s timely punch 2 his ribs saved us d trouble

Later in d evng, wen idiot wasn’t at home, Ro came to d hall whr we were sittin around a chess board (watchin tv of course) n said dat d rat has entered our premises again…ideally we wud hv put on our commando suits, topped it wid a bandana, painted black streaks on our faces n blown up d rat wid our bazookas…but due 2 an acute shortage of resources (namely d commando suits, bandanas, paint n bazookas), we decided on d more traditional slam-bang approach

I volunteered 2 go 2 d back door n close it so dat d rat doesn’t run off 2 d store room…n SG n Ro were supposed 2 pick up something 2 hit it wid n tiptoe in frm d front door of d kitchen…I got a log on my way dere n got in n locked d door

SG n Ro came in together…SG had d cover of a tubelight in his hand…n Ro was holdin his biotech notes rolled up! Wid d kinda weapons of mass destruction dat these dudes were carryin, it was clear who had 2 strike

D rat was under d dinin table (yup d dinin table was in d kitchen smarty)…SG climbed on top of d table wid his deadly tubelight cover n offered 2 poke d rat out (yeah I knw he’s a pervert!)…Ro climbed on d platform n made a mic out of his paper roll n started givin live commentary of wat was hapng…I was standin wid d log raised n waitin 4 d target 2 come out

SG kept on poking it…n well after a certain point even a tubelight cover can be irriatatin…d rat dashed out…Ro yelled into his “mic” at wat degree d rat had run…I n SG exchanged glances n nodded: Ro is our next target

I saw d rat n boy was it huge…so more easy 2 hit…action time baby!!! :D
Slam-miss
Slam-hit
Slam-hit
Slam-hit

I got 3 hits out of 4…not bad 4 a 1st timer…d poor creature was lyin lifeless on d floor…we ensured its dead by poking it (SG again)…n wen we were sure its dead…we 3 gathered around it n started dancing n chantin:
“JHUMBALAKA JHUM
JHUMBALAKA JHUM
JHUMBALAKA JHUM
JHUM JHUM JHUM!!!”

I mentioned in d beginning dat dis incident changed someone’s life…dat someone (in case u hvnt guessed it by now) was d rat ;) (u chose d wrong house buddy)

So dats how dis urban legend began…n 2 dis day d elderly couple in d neighborin house hv no clue how a dead rat ended up on their terrace!!!

A Police Story

2009-05-12T12:13:00.003+05:30

Long timeeee guys...dont think I hv stayed away from my blog 4 so long before...I cudnt even celebrate its 1st bday coz a lot of stuff has been hapng in my work as well as personal life (though none of dem r blog material)...sorry bloggy :(

Recently my frnd got a long “advice” frm a cop on how its not safe 2 talk on d cell n walk on roads at nite...resultin in the said frnd bein a much more enlightened individual ;)

Now dis reminded of my one n only run-in wid cops...dis hapnd wen I was in coll in mlore...now before I start wid d story I request all of u 2 maintain a minute’s silence2 observe d 1st bday of bloggy...59 58 57 56 55 54 53 52 51 50 49 48 47 46 45 44 43 42 41 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 33 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0...THANK U!

So dis was a reasonably cold dec nite...we were at d mlore railway station...n by “we” I mean me n my 3 roomies with whom I had rented out a flat...one of dem had fractured his foot tryin 2 figure out 4 himself which is stronger: his foot or an iron rod...well he sure did find dat out ;)

We had 2 ship him 2 his hometown which is a place called “kayamkulam” in kerala...ok we were putting him on a train but d phrase “we had 2 train him” doesn’t make any sense...so I guess we were dere 2 indeed ship him :D

Now we all bein coll kids, none of us felt d need 2 get platform tickets (don’t ask me wats d logic behind dat thot)...so dere we were...all 4 of us on d platform…hustled in a seat…an hr ahead of d train schedule whilin away our time doin literally nothing

All of a sudden, one of my frenz (lets call him d “idiot”) suggested dat we go around 4 a walk on d platform...havin no better option of my own 2 suggest, I n d idiot left d langda n d 4th guy dere n started our slow walk

A train dat was scheduled 2 leave before ours was at d station...havin walked d length of d platform we decided 2 walk inside d train...coz we had just landed in from mars n had neva seen d insides of a train before ;)

We walked inside 4 sometime...n den jumped out...n saw a cop walkin in front of us...I told d idiot 2 not attract attention n just act normal...

Idiot: u scared of cops dude?
Me: ssshhh
Idiot: u really scared of cops?
Me: SHUT UP
Idiot: look bro...I’ll teach u a trick or 2

Sayin dis he went rite behind d cop n started apin d way dat guy was walkin...suddenly d cop turned n luked at d idiot n I just walked by, as if I din know d idiot or d cop or d station or d entire concept of travelling in a train

I reached d seat whr the other guys were sittin without glancing back even once at wats hapng between d idiot n d cop...n sat dere wid these ppl n after a moment d idiot joined us...
His version: d cop din say anything (no one knows till date wat actually hapnd)

So all 4 of us were back whr we started...on d seat...but dis time like gud boys :D I filled d other 2 on wat had just hapnd...n dey echoed my opinion dat we shud kill d idiot n throw him rite on d tracks (pity we din do it)

N before we knew, a cop was by our side n lukin pretty angry...he was talkin in tulu n askin us wat we were doin in d train...now only d 4th guy in d group knew d language (lets call him smart-a..err smart-guy: SG in short)

We all turned 2 luk at SG so dat he cud talk us out of dis “situation”...now SG bein d SA dat he is, just luked up as if he was wonderin whether Pluto is actually a planet or not and if it was one, wud it support life

So I n d idiot started explainin 2 d cop dat we were just checkin out d seat 4 our langda frnd in d wrong train n how we came back wen we realized dat dis wasn’t d train...n all dis in a language dat we thot was tulu...d cop wasn’t lukin impressed n SG was still stuck wid his Pluto mystery

Cop: whr r u goin?
Me: Kkkkkkkk...kankanady
Cop: wat?

Now 4 d uninformed...langda was goin 2 kayamkulam n kankanady is like ten mins from mlore station

Suddenly d cop smiled n said be careful abt wat u do on such days n walked off...we said ok n luked at each other...each one of us silently wonderin wat on earth did he mean by “such days”

Dats wen SG back frm his Pluto research exclaimed dat its d nite of dec 5th n d next day was dec 6th (d babri masjid demolition day) n dat explained why dere were so many cops at d station...we all luked once again at each other n den without a word, all except langda rushed 2 get d platform tickets!!!

Moral of d story: Whoeva said dat every freakin story shud hv a moral!!!

Deres a strike goin on between d film producers n multiplex owners…so no movies r comin out…d last one I watched was “fast n d furious 4”…n only one word describes it best: kickass!

If u r gonna watch it, leave ur brains at home n just go in 4 some fun

Ciao :D

I’ve Been Tagged!!!

2009-02-13T11:36:00.004+05:30

Well d last time I had 2 tag myself…but this time I’ve actually been tagged by someone…how cool (or is it kewl) is dat?!?!

Ok now into d details…I’ve been tagged by perplexed (I’m eternally indebted 2 u)…n dis tag requires me 2 take the sixth picture from the sixth folder on my pc and write about it…so here I go…

This was taken durin one of those really intrstng classes whr I just cudnt keep my eyes open…my frnd gave me his cell n a ball-point pen n asked me 2 make his cell funky!

Yup…u heard it rite…a ball-point pen 2 make a cell luk funky…he shud hv atleast given me a spray paint rite? But den I m such a gud guy dat I obliged without complainin (so nice of me na…I know)

So we started thinkin abt wat 2 do…I aint dat gud at drawin so I knew I had 2 scribble somethin n convince him dat its cool…we thot (or rather "I thot"…he isnt exactly much of a thinker) of diff quotes…n we shortlisted some…of dat we chose these 2 phrases…which actually sound atleast a lil original (don’t dey? Ok dey do…thanx)

I wrote d 1st one diagonal 4 some reason dat isnt yet known 2 anyone alive…n ended up almost crammin d whole area on d cell…so after a lot of thinkin (again just me) I wrote d 2nd line on d base…

He was showin around his new-found “funkiness” around n I was takin credit weneva anyone said its gud n just disappearin wen some gave those weird luks (cant spoil my rep rite?)

At d end of it…he found out dat it was so cool dat he neva used d panel again?!?! Wat do I say? Apart frm d obvious fact dat d poor guy doesn’t hv a gud taste!

I just realized dat its been a month n a half into 2009 n dis is my 1st post…yikes…dats like an awful lotta time 2 be lazy…I continue 2 surprise myself :D

So its d season of luv…n happy v-day 2 all…go hold hands n show ur luv 2 d world…n don’t care a damn abt d guys who poke their nose into stuff dats not one bit their business (read muthalik n his sena of jerks)…hv fun…n spread luv…ta ta!

My Last Post of 2008

2008-12-23T17:35:00.007+05:30

Its holiday season…n all stores in town r offerin cool discounts…dats wen u know dat xmas n new yr r around d corner…he he…n no I hvnt shopped anything of late (wat wid recession n all in d news…how can a responsible citizen go out n splurge???)

So, in other words, u all can gift me stuff n make a responsible citizen a very very happy citizen :D (howzaat?)

So dis is d 1st new yr season for dis blog n its all excited…he he…I sound like d mtv tickr…treatin d blog as an individual ;)

N wid new yr comes d resolutions…now makin resolutions is one thing but stickin onto it is a totally diff issue…I dunno wat resolutions I’m gonna make…anyways I hv neva stuck onto any dat I hv made, so it doesn’t make much of a difference…well dis time one thing dat does come to my mind is makin it 2 d office on time…m tired of bein late…n even more tired of d jokes on me 4 neva bein on time :(

A frnd had told me dat December is her most fav month…maybe coz xmas is around…n my guess is coz her bday is also in d same month…but wateva it is it makes her feel on top of d world

N talking of bein on top of d world…I just made a list of 5 moments wen I hv felt on top of d world…n all of dem r true (of course anything I say is true…I m after all a honest n responsible citizen) :D

1. Visitin home wen u r stayin away due to work/study…nothing like touchin base n bein in d company of ur luved ones…where u don’t hv 2 act n appear intrstd in completely borin stuff…home is one place whr ur true nature comes 2 d fore…d real person in u is out only in d confines of ur nest
2. Holdin a 2-day old baby…ok holdin a 1-day or a 3-day old baby wud also be fantastic…I recently held a 2-day old sweety in my hand n trust me it was heaven :D
3. Getting an unexpected gift…n a really cool one at dat (I got an ipod classic…god bless my big bro) :D
4. Getting a call frm a old frnd wen u really wanna speak 2 someone
5. Bein introduced by someone as “meet (name), my best frnd” – priceless

Well I’m done 4 d yr…n d blog n me wanna wish all d readers a very happy xmas n a wonderful new yr ahead…hv a blast on 31st…I’ll be leavin town tmrw nite…dats why d advance wishes

PS: if u wish u can lemme know 5 moments wen u felt on top of d world…who knows I mite hv just started a tag ;)

Plain Lazy

2008-12-09T15:45:00.004+05:30

Ok here’s an announcement: I’M ALIVE…wasn’t bloggin 4 no particular reason…d only excuse I can come up wid is: “I was lazy”…hope all u guys missed me ;) well I aint waitin 4 d replies 2 dat one ;)

Was thinking wat do I write abt…m kinda outta touch…so d creative brain cells aren’t particulary up n jumpin…so just recountin an incident dat hapnd recently…n btw isn’t dis blog supposed 2 contain d snippets of my intrstng life? So here it goes…

It was the week before the open book exams…I had my bag stuffed wid printouts n printouts n more printouts n den (no not some more printouts) 3 textbooks…so it was quite a heavy bag (logical conclusion rite?)

I hv dis habit of hittin d bed weneva I decide 2 study at my place, so I decided 2 sit back in office n inject some knowledge into my head n must say I failed miserably…I just ended up wastin time here wen I cud easily hv curled up in my bed by dat time if I had gone home (m I makin sense?)

At 8.30, I thot enuf was enuf n got up n took dis huge load wid me…as I swiped out n walked towards d gate, a guy came up to me…he said that he works in the electronic city office of the same company I work 4 n he had lost his atm card…I thot he was gonna ask 4 cash…but as usual I was wrong :)

He said he wanted 2 access d net 2 check if any transactions hv occurred in his a/c since he lost his card…I sighed n thot, “ok atleast its not gonna cost me.”

He was a middle aged guy (MAG)…around 40…luked d gentlemanly kind n most importantly he had d company tag on him (so not a terrorist)…I led him back 2 my cubicle…unlocked my pc n he took over…he logged into d site, took a printout of his a/c transactions n was done in 10-15 mins…we walked back exchanging private n confidential info on how cold d weather is ;)

MAG asked me whr I stay…n bingo he was goin on d same route…n said he’ll give me a drop…he had a 4-wheeler…I cudnt think of any reason 2 refuse…n so we got into his car n he started drivin on d wrong side of d road…both of us checkin out d opp side 2 see if dere is any opening 2 cross onto d other side.

N suddenly we heard a loud thud n d entire car shook…now I hv neva been in a car accident before…so it took a moment 4 me 2 realize wat had hapnd…a cab was parked in front of a restaurant n it had suddenly moved onto d road n hit d back part of our car.

So out we came, n an abuse hurlin session began…d other driver was givin it full-on 2 MAG in Kannada…n MAG maintained a dignified silence 4 sometime…but den he thot he had had enuf n showed d cabbie dat he was anything but dignified…he started back his verbal mouthlash in Hindi…it was fun…n d best part was I learnt some new gaalis (or were dey so old dat ppl hv stopped usin dem) ;)

Now dis cabbie was getting all d local support…d rick-wallahs n all those around joined him n started pointing out how MAG was d one 2 be blamed…n d cabbie was growin more confident n was a waggin his finger a lil too close 2 MAG’s face…I thot it was just a matter of time before a fight wud start…I mean d physical kind

Dis feelin kinda got me thinking…if a fight does start, shud I join? If it was a frnd, I wudnt hv thot twice…but I hardly knw dis guy…n d odds of getting beaten up were a million 2 one…d cabbie had got all d on-lookers on his side…d MAG was alone (ahem…he was probably bankin on me…but I wasn’t sure if I was really willin 2 prove him rite)

N den some wise guy suggested dat d cops be called…my mind started racin…wat if d cops come n tow d car away? My bag wid all d printouts n d texts were in dat…n he had locked d door…damn why do I hv 2 get involved here? I went n stood next 2 MAG
Me: why cant we just leave?
MAG: lets see wat he wants 2 do?
Me: well d only thing he seems intrstd 2 do is abuse u…n luks like he’s doin a gud job of it
MAG: (cold stare)
Me: s**t
MAG: let him call d cops if he wants…I hv been thru dis before…no big deal
Me: (thinking) yeah rite…now dat makes me feel so much more better

Suddenly, d cabbie turned n got into his cab n left…still continuing his noble deed of cursin MAG…now d crowd started dispersin n I let out a sigh of relief…MAG started checkin d car 4 scratches…he remarked: “dere is a dent here na?”
Me: yeah yeah…now can we move? (thinking: or atleast unlock d door so I can get my bag)
MAG: pretty nasty one…think I shud claim insurance?
I went around 2 see wat he’s pointing at n I din see anything…I crouched n had a closer look…still nothing
Me: yup…claim it…its very bad (thinking: plz unlock d god damn door)

Finally we got into d car n left…we crossed onto d other side n MAG started his pravachan on how it was all d cabbie’s fault…I just nodded waitin 4 wat seemed like an eternity 2 reach my place n silently regrettin d moment I actually thot of helping dis guy.

Moral of d story: kill d idiot who said u shud do a gud deed every day!!!

Self-Tagged

2008-08-08T18:10:00.018+05:30

Ok I tagged myself…well dere was no one 2 tag me n I really thot it wud be fun fillin dis up…so I took it upon myself…rmbr: “zindagi jeene ke do hi tareeke hote hain, ek - jo ho raha hai use hone do, ya phir - zimmedari uthao use badalne ki”…well…I just did :D

4 all u 1st timers, a tag is a pre-set list of questions dat u answer. At the end of it u can ask someone else 2 attempt 2 answer it n hence tag dat person

So here goes my rapid-fire…

1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it.
A. On my left shin. I got it when shabbir tapori shot me at point-blank range n I dived 2 avoid it. Prblm was I raised my feet in d process of d dive n d bullet was pretty slow. So it hit my shin. Sounds ok? :P

2. What is on the walls in your room?
A. Paint :D

3. What does your phone look like?
A. Black wid a splash of orange here n dere. It’s a w810i. N u better tell me dat its cool :)

4. What music do you listen to?
A. Any. Trust me. Any as long as I m in a mood. I can very easily hv “khwaab dekhe jhoote moothe” n linkin park playin back-2-back on my playlist ;)

5. What is your current desktop picture?
A. This ---->

It shows 5 feet. One of which is mine. The rest r unidentified n r up 4 grabs. So hurry!!!

6. What do you want more than anything right now?
A. I blink n d day shud be Friday. I blink again n d time shud be 6 :) possible?

7. Do you believe in gay marriage?
A. The Indian law calls it a crime n I m as much against d Indian law as I m against aliens takin over d planet. So dat answers it rite?
4 all those who din get wat I was tryin 2 say…d answer in pretty simple terms is: “YES. I believe every individual has a right 2 live life his/her own way. N marry d person of his/her own choice”

8. What time were you born?

A. Sometime in d afternoon. I m way too lazy 2 go thru all dat in d mrng :D

9. Are your parents still together?
A. Yeah. Still together. Still in luv :)

10. What are you listening to?
A. My cpu hummin ;)

11. The last person to make you cry?
A. Anyone who wud make me cry shud be spcl rite? Even dis person is :)

12. What is your favourite perfume/cologne?
A. I don’t hv a fav. I try not 2 stick onto d same fragrance 4 long

13. What kind of hair/eye colour do you like on the opposite sex?
A. Black/brown/red hair
Black/brown/blue eyes

14. Do you like pain killers?
A. Yeah. As much as I like terrorists.

15. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
A. He he. Maybe :D (sheepish grin)

16. Fave pizza topping?
A. Lots n lots of cheese loaded wid as much poultry as d poor crust can take n den some more cheese

17. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?
A. A maharaja mac wid French fries n coke. N add a hot chocolate fudge 2 d order (I’m on a diet u see) :D

18. Who was the last person you made mad?
A. Who was d last person I met?

19. Is anyone in love with you?
A. Yeah, of course. I’m a popular guy :D :D :D

Dunno if I shud tag anyone…guess I’ll tag all those who r intrstd…all d best…n tell me if u do dis stuff…wud luv 2 check it out :)

N just as I'm abt 2 post dis, I got a mail sayin dat Abhinav Bindra won d yellow metal at Beijing...man dats wat I call d perfect news 2 start d week wid...an olympic individual gold 4 India...dunno if dis has ever hapnd before...yippie...3 cheers 2 dat :D :D :D

Ciao :)

Gospel of Luv – 10 Rules 4 Guys

2008-07-11T13:17:00.000+05:30

Over d years I hv had numerous pals who hv been in a relationship…some have been freakin serious abt it even though dey were just in the 11th grade while some even on d cusp of 30 weren’t sure of wat dey were doin…but 1 thing’s been common throughout: all d guys have common complaints abt d relationship…so 4 all u wannabe romeos, here’s a list of rules u better be prepared 4 if u intend 2 fall in d pit of luv ;)

Note: In dis list ‘u’ refers 2 d guys

1. U shudn’t disturb her (by callin on d phone) wen she’s out wid her frenz. But no such rules apply wen u r havin a nice time wid ur buddies.
2. Wen she says she din hear ur call or notice ur msg, its genuine. If u din notice her’s, den god save u.
3. I’m sure all u couples wud spend long nites on d phone. So dis rule is 4 all u poor souls: Wen she’s sleepy at nite, its fine. Wen u r sleepy, u r ignorin her.
4. U wud be constantly told not 2 hide things frm her. BEWARE – dis is a trap. D moment u think yeah u shud be honest n blurt out ur previous crush’s name, u r dead. N if dat crush still happens 2 be in ur vicinity, den u r not only dead, u hv lost all chances of nirvana!
5. Don’t ask more dan 2 back-2-back questions abt her frnd…u may suddenly get a high-pitched “why don’t u ask her only?” on ur face.
6. “Is dere anything abt me dat u don’t like?” She can ask dis in d most passionate of moments. N u bein completely smitten wudn't even be aware of wats comin out of ur lips. Yeah I know u were honest…but den u were also a fool!
7. If she asks u 2 sing 4 her over phone, don’t argue, just do it n get over wid it. N never ask her 2 return d favor. Ever heard of anyone singin over d phone?!?!?!
8. Don’t ever end a msg or a call without d mandatory “luv u”…dis, my frnd, is an unforgivable sin.
9. U shall never be in a bad mood. No matter wat, u shud always be happy n cheerful n caring n understanding even if ur boss was threatening 2 fire u if u don’t work for 14hrs a day or u had a bad fight wid d motorist who rammed into u wen u were crossin d road or even if a near one is on d deathbed, it just doesn’t matter. However if her neighbor’s cousin’s nephew’s classmate’s step-mom’s best-friend’s Pomeranian has a flu, u shud of course be mourning.
10. N finally d most imp rule of all…weneva u hv a fight wid her, just rmbr 1 thing: “u r always wrong”. D sooner u admit it, d better 4 u.

Hope at least 1 innocent guy wud benefit frm dis…d rest can click on d ‘comments’ link n type something out ;)

N talking abt luv,
Q. Do u believe in luv @ 1st sight?
A. Yeah, of course. It happens 2 me all d time ;)

PS: Watched “Jaane tu ya jaane na” over d weekend…damn cool movie…don’t miss it :)

Ta ta

Bunty, Babli, etc etc

2008-06-20T15:49:00.002+05:30

Recently my frnd (lets call her babli) told me dat her cousin bunty has won a prize in some competition in one of those malls n d organizers had called him up n asked him 2 get a couple along if he wants 2 claim d prize…bunty had asked babli if she can get someone along n I was d chosen one (I don’t even hv a say dammit)

So off we went 2 dis place…it turned out 2 be an office of a well-known holiday packages n clubbin enterprise…we got dere n met bunty…now bunty bein babli’s cousin was a shrewd guy alright…he thot up dat d more d no. of couples he tags along d more his chances of baggin dat gift…so he brought along 2 gals n babli had called another one of her guy friend (hari prasad chaurasia, HPC in short) also…dat made d 6 of us n in bunty’s words “3 couples”

We were d last 2 reach d place…d other 4 were already dere…we went in n bunty talked 2 d receptionist dere n asked her wat next…n den fell d bomb…d receptionist asked whr is d “married couple” n bunty almost had a heart-attack !!! He confirmed if wat he heard was rite…n yeah it was (but he still din hv d heart-attack)

Now none of us had heard all of dis…we were just waitin 4 bunty 2 come back n tell us wat d whole damn thing is abt…dats wen HPC decided dat we hv waited enough.

He decided 2 take matters in his own hands n went n asked bunty “Wassup bro? Anything wrong?”

A confused lukin bunty luked up 2 his savior n replied in a feeble voice, “They need a married couple!!! N both of us aren’t married na!!!”

The receptionist heard dis n said dat rules r rules n she cant help it…these 2 guys decided dat dey need 2 speak 2 her mngr n find out if dere was an alternative…dey called him up n he confirmed wat dey had just heard frm d lady on d other side of d table (note: d heart-attack still eludes bunty)

Now d 2 dejected guys came back 2 us wid their heads almost touchin d grounds…dey told us wat d matter was…n we…er…sympathized wid dem…babli started her lecture on how bunty shud hv found out wat d funda was before callin in so many ppl…n we collectively nodded our heads in silent agreement

Den suddenly HPC had dis gleam in his eyes n he luked up 2 yours truly…n 4 d 1st time in my life I realized wat on earth is telepathy…I said NO even before he opened his mouth…d others still din get wat exactly is hapng…n HPC proceeded 2 enlighten dem:
“D lady knows dat I aint married…she knows dat bunty aint married…but she has no clue abt dis guy’s (my) marital status…he can go in wid babli as a twosome n d gift will find its way into our hands!!!”
(4 some strange reason it reminded me of dis dialog frm don: “Sonia…tum jaanti ho yeh revolver khaali hai, mein jaanta hun ki yeh revolver khaali hai…magar police nahin jaanti ki yeh revolver khaali hai”)

“NO!!! I can’t do dis!”, I felt like I was talking 2 myself…no one was even listenin…dey all agreed dat dis is d brainstorm of d century n we r just lucky 2 be part of dis great conspiracy

Babli, eventhough a bit skeptical at 1st, agreed 2 go wid d flow n of course my protests were fallin on deaf ears…so dere we were d “married couple” of d day… bunty introduced us 2 d receptionist as THE couple…n d lady gave a wry smile indicating pretty well dat she knew dis was a stop-gap arrangement…but she wasn’t worried (why wud she be? D company was givin d prize…it wasn’t frm her pocket)

She asked my name n I decided I m gonna keep it as discreet as possible…I just said my 1st name n forged a signature by just writin down my name…she said we will hv 2 sit thru a presentation 4 an hr n a half…so dat was d deal…me n babli r a couple for 1.5 hrs n we had decided amongst d 2 of us dat we r gonna walk away wid d gift whether bunty likes it or not

We were led upstairs n den ushered into a big hall whr many couples whr sittin wid a company rep…d six of us were seated wid special emphasis on d “couple” occupyin d center seats…a rep joined us n he started a random interview…he asked twice if we guys r married n I replied wid a straight face dat we r…I cud see possible smirks on d others’ faces waitin 2 explode but I was stuck wid my dead-pan luk (never one 2 let go easily :) )

He asked stuff like whr we stay n everyone told him n den he turned 2 babli n she replied wid a “we hv made our home in…” n it suddenly dawned on me dat we were supposed 2 hv d same nest (must say I almost blew it up dere…but den babli was dere 2 save d day)

Den we filled up a form…dere was 1 column dat asked d last 3 places dat we visited n stuff…n we put in kerala (my suggestion), karwar n mysore (her suggestion)…wen we were asked abt it I spoke at length abt how kerala was (comes naturally 2 me ;) )

Dis was followed by a lady who took over d mantle of quizzing us…she started off wid a “ha boliye janaab”…a hyderabadi n a proud one at dat…she refused 2 talk in any language other dan hindi…was a pretty funny lady n talked a lot n told us abt dis holiday scheme dat dey were promoting n dats wat dey wanted d couples 4 (at last it made sense)

She even went on 2 say dat I n babli don’t exactly luk married…I pushed my chair closer 2 babli n asked “now?” Negative…so I told babli “smile” n I also smiled…now? Still negative…phew dis is beyond me.

N if we thot dis was d end…well we had some surprise left…a 3rd person came in…he was d mngr…he told us d tariff…it was a cool 1.5 lakhs…n it was a 1-day offer…so we had 2 commit den n dere…so finally we got an opening…we did some “couple discussion”…n came 2 d conclusion dat we need some more time 2 think like say around a week
Dem: “Not possible”
Us: “Bad luck den”

D packed gift was given 2 us n we filled up some feedback form n dashed out of d place…all of us huddled around as d gift was bein unwrapped…n dere came out d mega-prize 4 which all dis effort had gone in:
A set of crockery – kitchen bowls 2 be exact…n a 1-day pass 2 one of those clubs
Babli pocketed d pass n 2 bowls…bunty? Well he finally had his long-pending heart-attack!!!

Moving On

2008-06-12T11:38:00.000+05:30

Man its been long since I hv written something…n guess wat d reason is…go on take ur shot…still din get it? Ok den I’ll do d honors: I HV BEEN BUSY !!!

Yes u read it rite…I HV BEEN BUSY !!! Yup d unimaginable has hapnd…n I swear I dont hv anything 2 do wid it…its not like I hv been neck-deep in work or anythin…but den movin on frm d bench 2 a regular prjct is not all dat easy…its been a long while since I hv checked my own blog 4 comments...but obviously it din make a bit of a difference as dere is not even a single one since d last time I checked :(

So I was sayin dat movin on was a bit tough…hv been tryin 2 get 2 my seat at 9 but it just doesn’t happen…its gotta be 9.45 at least till I make it…maybe d laziness dat had crept in (or was it always dere? ;) ) durin d “bench” days hasnt deserted me…but its not like I aint tryin…4 instance, I just snooze my alarm thrice in d mrng these days compared 2 my earlier 5 times (4 all those who r intrstd…I just switch it off after dat !!!)

Hv joined a new team n d ppl r pretty cool…we hv had 3 team lunches since I hv joined n all 3 were at some really hapng places…so dey get all d points without even tryin…who’s worried abt work if such gud things flow along rite? Yeah rite :)

Work is ok…or so I think…hvnt discovered anything out-of-d-world till now…but den who knows…dis week I just might ;) we r finally getting proper weekends coz d exams r over n dere r no classes dis month…wish d hols were 4 two months dan just one…sigh

Had left my collection of songs in my old pc n hv been stranded here...n if it wasn’t 4 some generous frenz who sent me some tracks I wud hv committed suicide…din know music was so imp 2 me…hmmm I just keep surprising myself ;)

It was a frenz bday recently n d treat has been long since pendin…n she gave a treat yest…n man did I hog like crazy…actually m not much of a foodie (honest)…just ate so dat she doesn’t feel bad…m a pretty nice guy u see :D (honest again…n btw dats my angelic smile…its pretty famous around here…but still thot dere mite be some ignorant readers ;) )

“Indiana Jones” is out n I dunno why ppl r so dyin 2 see it…I wud rather watch Sarkar Raj…n read dis interview somewhere of AB Jr. the interviewer asked him why he is lukin so angry in d promos n junior said he’s not angry he’s just bein intense…lol (I really found dat funny)

Saw a movie “50 First Dates” on tv…try catchin it d next time…is really a cute flick…n Drew Barrymore luks more cute dan ever…man she’s one gal who can put on any amount of flab n still luk chweet :D (PS: I luv her)

Dats all 4 now folks…will move on I guess…my work awaits me (man never thot I wud say these words)

Listening to : “Meherbaan” – A.R. Rahman (A-W-E-S-O-M-E)

Ta ta :)

I’m Back!!!

2008-05-10T21:22:00.000+05:30

M listenin 2 MLTR’s “25 minutes” while typin dis out…yup pretty old song…but one of those dat I can hear anyday anytime…n today’s “anyday anytime”…coz m doin literally nothing at d moment…hv just been chattin over mails 2 a pretty recent friend…just checked d no of mails dat we hv played catch-catch wid…n lady brace urself…d count is 63!!! Not bad I say…just goes 2 prove dat m not d only person jobless around here ;)

So wats been happenin in my mind blowingly-interestin life??? Lots of stuff…really…had gone home n hv put on oodles of weight…much 2 d happiness of dearest mommy :D (nothing better dan hoggin away like a pig n lukin up 2 ur mom showin her pearlies smiling away 2 eternity…ah heaven)

N yeah I had 2 come back…just wen I thot life cudnt get better…why do we hv so less holidays??? :( NOT FAIR!!!

Today wud probably be my last day in d free pool…so dat invariably means dat I may hv 2 start workin…man even d thot is so scary…phew…lets hope it’s a passin phase n I get back on d bench soon (amen) :D

I made it clear 2 a friend of mine who suggested a project wid “good scope” dat m lukin 4 a “project” n not 4 “work” (don’t ppl get d difference!!!)

Another thing happenin in my life wud be dat I cleared d CodeGym assessment…I know most of u wudnt be knowin wat it is…so here it goes…its d most imp thing in d telecom domain in dis company (I can say anything I want…now dat I hv cleared d freakin exam)…many hv been askin me how I managed 2 clear dis out-worldly test…among d 10-12 from my team who were brave enough 2 take dis exam…only 2 emerged smiling…n 4 all u nutwits out dere…one of dem was me :)

So hv been distributin my gyaan 2 all n sundry who dream of clearin dis test in their lifetime…I hv told dem how I prepared day in and day out…how imp it is 2 hv a complete command over any one programming language of their choice (I took ‘C’)…n how imp it is 2 clear d assessment comprehensively…d pass percentage is 60…n surprisingly ppl hv been listenin (no smirks ok)

N just 4 d record I scored 60 ;)

Wat else? I m in luv…yeah I know all u ppl wud be surprised…but cudnt help it…it all happened so quickly dat I din get time 2 tell u guys abt it…so thot its best 2 write abt it here…wat better way 2 proclaim ur luv 2 d world :)

It happened wen I was at home…n just in case u were wonderin who got so lucky…I m in luv wid mangoes :) man dere r some really gud ones at home n I m so far frm dem now :(
Now I know how it feels 2 be away frm ur beloved…tanhayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ( u got competition sonu!!!)

“25 minutes” has started repeatin itself 4 d 3rd time…m too lazy 2 change d track n 2 top it d song is really chweet…so m just leanin back n lendin it my ears…all over again…SING ALONG :)

“After some time I've finally made up my mind

she is the girl and I really want to make her mine

I'm searching everywhere to find her again

to tell her I love her

and I'm sorry 'bout the things I've done

I find her standing in front of the church

the only place in town where I didn't search

She looks so happy in her wedding dress

but she's crying while she's saying this

Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is

25 minutes too late

Though you traveled so far boy I'm sorry your are

25 minutes too late”

Ta ta :)

Bring It On!!!

2008-04-28T12:32:00.000+05:30

"I am sore wounded but not slain
I will lay me down and bleed a while
And then rise up to fight again"

Why hv I put dis quote up here? Who m I gonna fight? Yeah even I hv an enemy (gasps)!!!

The villain in dis story (no not my mngr dumbo) is someone who has proved twice in a row dat his sole purpose in life is 2 be a thorn…n he bloody well is a pain whr it matters most…I unfortunately know him…n considered him a frnd (my mistake).

He always detested my popularity (ok…I m d hero here) n made ingenious plans 2 strike me out…well must say he came quite close.

Hmmm…I guess I shud start wid a flashback…so here it goes…we do a time travel back 2 d yr 2003…I hv no clue which month…I guess colleges start in June…so June it is.

I met “him” (ok don’t wanna spill his name out n give him a chance 2 sue me 4 libel) 4 d 1st time ever on d very 1st day of coll, which btw was St. Aloysius, M’lore…n no my life din change its course immeadiately if dats wat u guys expected :P

He was in my class, unfortunately…we talked normally…though I don’t rmbr wat we talked…but we did talk…he had a weird name (yeah he still has d same one)…a name I hv neva heard anywhere else…before or after. N he’s pretty conscious abt dat stupid name of his…though m sure he wont admit it now…but at dat time he was…I know (I said I m d hero…heroes neva lie)

So dis dude was an avg student in class…maintained pretty decent grades (quite an achievement 4 his pathetically low IQ), n wrote stupid poetry n drew even “stupider” (dunno if dere is such a word) cartoons or caricatures or wateva it was dat marked d margins of all his notes…he was a mess wid spellings n an even worse singer…yeah he used 2 hum songs n I used 2 sit somewhere around n beat my head on d bench n even dat wud seem music 2 dis jerk n he wud continue singin.

So off we went frm 1st to 2nd and den to d final yr…pretty breezy ride…some of d best days of my life (yeah eventhough dis clown was very much around) and we were pretty gud frenz or so I thot.

We finished our courses n me bein dis incredibly intelligent guy (heck I told u I m d hero) got placed in a well-reputed IT firm…n he went on 2 do his MCA (no…not in our coll…d management realized its mistake of takin him 4 d bachelors…so dey din let him anywhere close d moment he passed out).

I came 2 B’lore and was leadin a pretty happy life n dere he was in his coll scheming an evil plan 2 bring my gud name 2 dust 2 quench the neva-endin thirst of his sadistic mind…we used 2 talk occasionally…wen both of us were bored n had no other job n all d flies at our places were dead n part of folklore.

Fast frwd 2 present tense…d exact date wud be d 6th of April, 2008. On dat fateful day, he got his chance…he saw his long-awaited dream bein fulfilled…he saw my waterloo (plz don’t break d word into smaller words n derive meanings)

He got 2 know dat I hv created a blog…n dere he was…at his menacing best…writin out d worst comment n takin out all his pent-up frustration on dat poor lil blog of mine. But, alas, his effort went in waste. Ppl had already read d blog n formed opinions n dey din fall prey 2 his onslaught.

But not one 2 give up so easily (a trait dat all aloysians share), he struck back on my 2nd post…n dis time he hit d bull’s eye…d moment he came 2 know dat I hv updated my blog, he jumped on n was d 1st one 2 comment…n he literally shred my blog into pieces…he dissected each n every line I wrote…n almost wrote a comment dat was bigger dan my post!!!

Everyone followed suit…just as dat shrewd brain of his had anticipated…he had achieved wat he set out 2 do…he had triumphed…he had lived his dream…he won d battle…he rejoiced…he celebrated …his attempt at drivin me away frm blogosphere almost materialized…n I thot I wud neva be able 2 come up wid something in reply…but it wasn’t “Game Over” yet…dere was still a lot 2 play 4.

N den I thot (yeah I did)…a lot (now shut up will u? I thot n dats it)…n I decided dat d best thing I can do is tell d world (ok maybe not d entire world but all those who r listenin) d truth behind those savage attacks.

N today I hv done dat…I hv exposed him (not literally…thank heavens)…n I stand here…amidst d ruins of wat was once a blog of gud reputation…waitin 4 his next move. N dis time I intend 2 give it back…real hard.

Go 4 it dude…throw ur best at me…I m ready…as I said at the beginning…m gonna “rise up to fight again”

Note: All the incidents mentioned here r true 2 d best of my knowledge n any resemblance 2 any characters livin or dead is purely INTENTIONAL :P

Wat Next?

2008-04-13T15:38:00.000+05:30

Before I start, I wud like 2 thank all of u who read thru wat I posted…n I wud like 2 thank some of u even more…those who read thru it n even commented…it feels darn gud 2 hear nice words abt ur baby :)

Well, wat next? This is something a vast majority of my frenz r askin me…wats my next post gonna be abt? N if its not “wat next?” its “wen?”!!! Wen do I intend 2 post again? I neva thot abt it till one of my frenz popped up d question over lunch…till den I was thinking dat I hv written something n it ends dere 4 me…now everyone has 2 tell me wat dey think abt it…so I left it at dat n waited…4 comments n praises n hopefully no brickbats ;)

Well must say m overwhelmed…i got responses of all kinds…many commented on d blog itself…many din comment…I got some mails sayin how much dey liked my post n some told me in person…many asked me for d songs I mentioned dere…I guess I hv given James Blunt more publicity dan he cud hv ever imagined…wonder if I’ll get a percentage of d profit he makes thru his records (I deserve it 4 sure) ;)

N I guess d reason why so many ppl checked my blog was d way I “promoted” it…I told abt it 2 all ppl I know…asked everyone 2 hv a luk n comment…I shamelessly asked ppl I randomly met 2 go thru it n lemme know how it was…I maybe shouted louder abt my blog dan wat SRK did 4 OSO…now I know wat u went thru bro ;)

N den…back 2 square one: “wat next?”/ “wen?”

N I hv got enough suggestions on dat front:
1. Write a novel – I’m more dan happy 2 do it…but den a few negligible things r missin – name of d novel, characters (no. & names) and a plot…apart from dat, everthin else is in place :)

2. My frnd suggested dat I chronicle his flirty life…of how he’s tryin 2 woo a certain gal…well dude, I don’t intend 2 do dat…just coz I luv d way I m (hmmm…more or less)…n d last thing I want is a broken limb and a few missin teeth ;)

3. Den dere were innumerable other suggestions which I guess wud fall under d “censored” category…so I’ll let it pass by ;)

So d bottomline is: I cudnt think of any topic 2 write abt…now dis was something I wasn’t prepared 4…maybe dis is wat dey call “Writer’s block”…well if it is…den m happy…why? Coz dis puts me in a club of “Writers” rite? Aren’t Dan Brown, Jeffrey Archer and John Grisham part of d same club? Guess dey wud be glad 2 hv me on board (hey guys…wassup???) ;)

So dis invariably goes out as a thank u note 2 all u ppl who labored thru my 1st post n who wud hopefully repeat d trend wid dis one too :) thanx a lot folks!!!

N guess wat I hv got myself a publicist 4 d blog…she has promised me dat she’ll publicize my blog no matter wat crap I write…so I hv done my job (i.e., write crap) now its officially over 2 u Ms.Publicist…do ur boss proud ;)

My 1st Ever Blog

2008-04-02T16:23:00.000+05:30

Well….dis is d moment all u ppl hv been waitin 4…..I hv started bloggin (applause) ok I din hear any ;-)

Hmmm….now wat do ppl normally write abt…I’m not rackin my brains on dat….guess I’ll just keep on typin wateva comes 2 my mind (I sure aint gonna get any prizes 4 dis)

Today’s a cloudy day in april…now how many Indians talk abt cloudy days in april….I hv never seen any before dis….4 all u aliens out dere, april is summer in india….n summer in india is HOT….wid a capital H-O-T…maybe it’s a lil less in Bangalore…but it sure isn’t cloudy usually.

I just thot of fillin up pages wid details of d weather rite outta my 4th grade geography text but den I guess u wud rather well read my geography text dan dis…lol

So I hv hereby decided 2 tell u something abt my oh-so-interestin life….hmmm….hmmm…hmmm….hmmm….ok let’s search 4 some other topic.

Yest was all-fools day….n no, no one quite made a fool of me….a frnd did try…but must say a pretty feeble attempt….she msgs me at 12.15 n says her wallet is missin n it mite be in my bag….i searched my bag n told her its not dere n lo behold I hv been fooled….its not missin….yeah I know wat u guys wud be thinking who exactly is a fool here….but I wud rather not comment on it….coz she’s a 300-pound monster n I don’t wanna take any chances….so d moral of d story is: “I was april fooled. No questions asked”

A frnd sent me James Blunt’s 1973….so hv been listenin 2 it over n over again….just luv dat number…man m I in luv wid his voice….luvd his earlier songs also….u r beautiful & goodbye my lover….d latter bein, accordin 2 me, one of d best songs ever on heart-break….must say sadness never felt dis gud ;-)

Hmmm…guess I’ll wind up 4 now...n wait till d next time 2 talk more abt my interesting life ;-) till den u can listen 2 James Blunt crooning:

“I will call you up every Saturday night

And we both stayed out 'til the morning light

And we sang, "Here we go again"

And though time goes by

I will always be

In a club with you

In 1973

Singing "Here we go again"”

Ciao :-)