Tuesday, March 29, 2016

The Model Student

Teen Blunt was in Class 10. For the uniformed, the Class 10 exams are a major milestone in the Indian student life. One is expected to score good marks there in order to secure admission into further good schools, which in turn would help one to get a good job, which in turn would help one to find a good spouse, which in turn would help one to produce offsprings, who in turn would have to go through the same cycle. Welcome to India. And yes, we’re a weird lot.

So Teen Blunt wasn’t doing well in Class 10 up until the model (preparatory) exams. The model exams were just a few days away, and that would be followed by a Parents-Teachers meeting. After that, the month-long study holidays would start, which would culminate with the dreaded Class 10 exams. The model exams question papers were designed by a third party institute. The same institute was providing question papers to other schools that followed the same syllabus.

About the Parents-Teachers meeting, Teen Blunt was sure the teachers would rip into him for the simple reason that he hadn’t done well all year. He didn’t want the grief, and he was almost actually considering studying well to avoid it. Fortunately, he was spared of the trouble when one day, his classmate A came over to him and his friend SP.

A: “Wanna score some model question papers?”
SP: “What?” *gasps*
Yes, SP was a wimp.
Teen Blunt: “Sure. Which subject?”
A: “Maths.”

Now, Maths was Teen Blunt’s Kryptonite, the one subject that could single-handedly destroy him. The thought of getting his hands on the question papers beforehand and at least getting through the model exams unscathed delighted him.

Teen Blunt: “Great. How much would it cost us?”
SP (looking at Teen Blunt): “Are you seriously considering this?”
A: “Nothing.”
Teen Blunt: “Nothing?”
A: “Yeah, nothing. Just tell me the answers to all the questions.”
Teen Blunt: “So you came to us because you don’t have the answers to the questions?”
A: “Yup. Do we have a deal?”
SP: “No way.”
Teen Blunt: “Hell yeah!”

So A gave them the paper, they made copies, figured out all the answers, made copies of those also, gave one to a very happy A.

*Cut to exam day*
Teen Blunt: “So remember, we aren’t absolute champs. So don’t aim for a 100. It might raise doubts. Go for a reasonable number. I’m going for 85. You guys also be smart about it.”
SP/A: “Okay.”

The exam goes off well for Teen Blunt, and the others are also happy. They don’t talk about it till the day the marks are announced.

*Cut to the day the results are announced*
The Maths teacher walks in.

Teacher: “So first of all I want to congratulate SP for peaking well just before the finals.”
SP: *unblinking stare at the teacher*
Teen Blunt (thinking): “Uh-oh. Please don’t be a 95+.”
Teacher: “What impresses me most about SP is that how little mistakes he has made in the paper. Even for complex calculations, he doesn’t have any striking and re-writing.”
SP: *unblinking stare at the teacher*
Teen Blunt (thinking): “Okay, we are dead.”
Teacher: “He has scored 97, and I want each and every one of you to go through this paper and treat it as a reference on how a perfect Maths paper should look like.”
SP: *unblinking stare at the teacher*
Teen Blunt (thinking): “Kill. Me. Now.”
Teacher (chuckling): “The paper is so flawless, that if I didn’t know SP better, I would have thought that the question paper had leaked.”
SP: *makes a whimpering sound*
Teen Blunt: *starts planning what his tombstone should read*
Teacher: “What was that? What’s wrong SP?”
SP: *looks down and doesn’t say a word*
Teacher (raising his voice): “SP! What is it? Did you get the question paper beforehand?”
SP: *makes another whimpering sound*
Teen Blunt (thinking): “Tombstone done. Now let me start planning my will.”

Meanwhile, the teacher has walked up to SP, who sat just next to Teen Blunt. SP had stood up, and was looking down, unable to face the teacher.

Teacher (in his loudest voice): “SP, for the last time, did the question paper leak?”
SP: *makes one last whimpering sound, and nods his head in the affirmative*
Teacher (absolutely livid): “I can’t believe this. We teachers trust you and feel proud when you do well, and you don’t even stop and think once before stabbing us in the back. Who else got this leaked paper?” *starts looking around the class*

A deafening silence engulfed the classroom, and suddenly A stood up.

Teacher (with a puzzled look): “You? But you just scored 58!”
A (ever so casually): “I wanted to score above 50.”

Yes, A was an absolute bad ass.

Teacher: “Anybody else?”

Teen Blunt had made up his mind to not surrender, but he could feel SP’s gaze on him. After what seemed an eternity, he looked up. SP was staring at him, so was A. He looked around, and realized the teacher and the entire class was also staring at him.

Blunt (thinking): “F**k.”

Yes, the Parents-Teachers meeting was a major disaster, but Teen Blunt stuck to his version that he got a random question paper, and being the good student he was, he solved it to hone his skills, and realized that it was a leaked paper only after the exam. And that continues to remain the official story at his home. Till today.


Anita Jeyan said...

And you decided tgo let the secret out on the blog because you are anonymous! How jealous I am of you, you will never know. My boss knows the link to my blog. I will say no further.

NB said...

Oooh ladke...M so proud of u..hehehe..finally cat is out on the blog..hahahahaha

Blunt Edges said...

And yet people wonder why I'm anonymous. Bwahahahaha! :D

It's a secret. So shhh! ;)

Arpit said...

haha badass bro! :D

Blunt Edges said...

Thank you! :D

S said...

Hahaha, can we have more stories on Teen Blunt?

This was very filmy. SP the typical nerd, A the dumb brawny guy (to make it more filmy in my head, I am assuming he broke into someone's house and stole the paper) and Teen Blunt the witty hero with presence of mind. *applause*

Ire said...

Why did SP have to score a 97? Another compulsive wimpy idea? Sigh... at least you are quick to make up a good version. Write more often.

Blunt Edges said...

Adult Blunt is way too lazy to scribble down Teen Blunt stories. :)
*bows down to the applause*

SP was an ass.


Hey i didnot know that you were back..well done mate.. i laughed my ass off reading this.. Remember theres a whole lot bunch to write about...bring it on...

totalliemeh said...

A sounds badass

Hello there!! Remember me?

Blunt Edges said...

I just logged in after 3 years and saw your comment. There's so much to write, but then there's so much laziness also! Glad that it made you laugh.

A was and still is a badass. And I do remember you. Been a long long time! Hope you're doing well.