Slam Book

I got dis in a mail…thot it wud be more fun if I put it here (n actually get a blog post in d bargain…m I smart or m I smart?) :D

Name: Blunt Edges

Meaning of Your Name: err…edges dat r blunt?!?! It goes wid d theory dat sharp edges hurt…blunt ones don’t :)

Birthday: blunt edges was born on Wednesday, April 2, 2008…m a lil older dan dat (around 20-odd days) coz my bday is on March 10 ;)

About Me: I like 2 believe I’m funny…I neva knew wat I wanted 2 do wid my life…sumwhr I had a tiny inkling 2 be a writer who comes up wid articles dat hv cheeky humor in it (a la jug suraiya)…n dats wat prompted me 2 start dis blog…a place whr I cud write random stuff n also get 2 know wat others think abt it (n dis probably is d most serious para dis blog has ever seen…OMG!)

Turn Ons: gud luks (obviously!), intelligence, humor, a quick n smart mind dat gets my jokes! ;)

Turn Offs: bad breath, body odor, blank luks wen I crack jokes (I get a lot of these kinds arnd me!)

On What Occasions Do You Lie: diwali, xmas, holi n ramzan ;)

Greatest Fear: dat I mite actually post something on d blog n not get a single comment (yikes!) :

Favorite Color: blue, grey

Favorite Pass Time: playin nfs-most wanted (vrrrrrrrooooooooooommmmmmmmm)

Favorite Movie: hindi – dil chahtha hai
english – the departed

Favorite Movie Character: maximus (gladiator)

Favorite TV Show: F.R.I.E.N.D.S (I hv d entire freakin series…yay \o/)

Favorite TV Character: phoebe (F.R.I.E.N.D.S)

Favorite Song: hindi – in dino (life…in a metro)
english – boulevard of broken dreams (green day)

Happy: wen I get gud comments on my blog (plz get d point n type out some gud comments!!!)

Sad: wen India loses a cricket match :(

One Night Stands: adventurous…its probably d most intrstng thing since India’s independence n my birth :D:D

Love: seafood, pizza, bein wid family (coz I don’t get 2 do dat often), hangin out wid frenz, listenin 2 great music, reading gud comments on my blog (I REPEAT!)

Hate: rains (okkkk…stop gaspin…its true…I can’t stand it), exams, work, veggie food, ppl wid no sense of humor

Best Advice You've Ever Got: yeah rite...as if I let ppl come n advice me :P

Philosophy of Life: eh? ***scratches head***


Ahh…now all of u knw me :)

Note 2 all my blogger frenz: if u want a post idea, take dis up as a tag (i.e., if u hvnt already done anything similar n hv no other job) n plz let me know if u do it!

Note 2 all my non-blogger frenz: hello :D

Note 2 self: stop foolin around n finish d friggin post!

The End!

Tring Tring!

Dis is a telephonic conversation I had wid my mom sometime late last year wen my big bro (BigB) had come down 2 India

Me: heyllloo!
Mom: hello…who’s dat? (yeah she does it every time we talk…even wen she calls!)
Me: its ur son
Mom: sigh…no one new calls me
Me: yeah…I hv given ur number 2 james bond…he’s busy dis week…told me he’ll call u next week
Mom: very phunny
Me: he he
Mom: so wats new?
Me: na…nothing…returnin home from work…I hope I get a project in electronic city soon…d food here sucks
Mom: I asked “wats new?” din ask u 2 repeat d same thing dat I hv been hearin from d day u got a project in madiwala…don’t u IT ppl get d meanin of “wats new?”
Me: ahem…now who’s tryin 2 be phunny
Mom: teri maa!
Me: he he….dats more like it…so wats hapng at home? Wats BigB upto?
Mom: he has gone out wid frenz…ha btw something new did happen today!
Me: wat?
Mom: I got a call in d mrng
Me: james bond?
Mom: SHUT UP!
Me: lol
Mom: it was someone from my hometown
Me: who?
Mom: it’s a family dat we knw…though I dunno dis guy personally
Me: ok…so wat was it abt?
Mom: he took half an hr 2 give an intro abt himself…n reflected sadly on how our families hv lost touch
Me: tch tch
Mom (ignorin my false sarcasm completely): he was telling me how someone told him dat BigB was in d UK
Me: he called 2 say dat???
Mom: WHY CANT U HEAR D WHOLE THING FIRST?
Me: ok ok…carry on
Mom: so he said dat he knows abt BigB n he has a daughter
Me: hohoho
Mom: wat r u? santa?
Me: na…a project engineer…lol
Mom: yeah d one who rarely has a project…rite?
Me: grrrr!!!
Mom: lol…n u thot only u can be smart ha? Whr do u think u get ur funny genes from?
Me: from outer space! So u were sayin?
Mom: he he…yup his daughter is a software engineer in blore…n before I cud say anything, he went on abt how much dowry dey wud give n abt d flat dey wud book in BigB’s name
Me: whoaaaaaa…now we talking!!!
Mom: I tried interruptin him but dat guy just kept on talking…so I just kept quiet till he was done
Me: so how much moolah do we get? ***snigger***
Mom: ha ha ha…anyways wen he was done, I told him dat BigB isn’t exactly planning 2 marry now…n he asked BigB’s age n apparently his daughter is elder
Me: sigh…n 2 think all dat money wil find its way into some other family
Mom: wait…it doesn’t get over dere!
Me: den?
Mom: den he asked me “u hv one more son rite?”
Me: whoa whoa whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Mom: he asked me wat u r doin? N I told him whr u work n all
Me: m sure he must be impressed…buhahaha (my false pride-filled laugh)
Mom: yup a lot…he said he has one more daughter n she’ll finish her engineerin next yr
Me: arre wah…any chances of getting her snap???
Mom: NO!
Me: her number?
Mom: NO!
Me: her mail id?
Mom: NO!
Me: ok…r u gonna say anything other dan “no”?
Mom: NO!
Me: cool…wats her name? M sure u atleast asked dat…din u?
Mom: NO!
Me: I m so gonna be single all my life!!! ***dramatic sigh***
Mom: u found dat out now? Ha ha ha
Me: DATS IT…I’M HANGIN UP…got work!
Mom: wat work? I thot u were returnin from work?!?!?!
Me: gotta find myself a gal…obviously u aint gonna help…rite?
Mom: lol…best of luck bachha
Me: THANX! Well thinking of it…I sure do need a lot of luck 4 dat…hmmm ta ta
Mom: buh-bye

Click!

Mom (thinking): aaj kal ke bachhe!
Me (thinking): aaj kal ke moms!

Jhumbalaka Jhum

A couple of my readers (I like d sound of dat: “my readers” :D) read my prev post, A Police Story, n reminded me of another incident dat hapnd wen I was in coll…one dat changed d life of someone drastically…so eventhough these 2 readers (ahh…heaven) were lazy enuf 2 not comment on d post (yeah I aint eggjhactly d laziest person around ;)), I still wanna thank dem 4 givin me d idea 4 a post…

I, d bluntest of all edges, hereby thank M n P (in alphabetical order) 4 bringin d legend of jhumbalaka jhum (ok I shud hv shouted it out: D LEGEND OF JHUMBALAKA JHUM…dats more like it) 2 life ***drum rolls***

Cast: Me (duh! M d hero obviously), SG (aka Smart Guy), Idiot, Ro

I was in d final yr of my coll…we had moved into a house dat was literally just a stone throwaway frm d almighty institution (4 reasons dat r still alien 2 mankind coz we rarely attended coll)

D day in qsn was a typical weekday wen we had bunked coll n were just whilin away our time tryin 2 figure out who among us can surf thru all d channels of d tv d fastest (u shud try it out sometime…its productive n gives an insight into ur deeper dormant personality)

Suddenly, idiot, who was sent 2 d kitchen 2 get food, came out runnin n luked as if he had just seen a ghost

Idiot: ders a mouse in d kitchen!
SG: r u sure it’s a mouse? It cud be a rat
Ro: wats d difference?
SG: well ders gotta be something…otherwise why wud dey hv 2 names?
Me (who was busy swappin channels): YES…beat dis…I clocked 42secs!!! (lukin at idiot) whr’s d food?
Idiot: HOLY CRAP…m I livin wid a bunch of fools or wat? Ders a rat slash mouse (he meant rat/mouse) in d kitchen n it ran into d store room wen I walked in dere…its huge!!!
Me: ohhhh…so why din u get d food?
Idiot: %&#*&$@!&$# (god bless my relatives)

So all of us reluctantly went n checked out d scene of crime…d store room, which was perpetually closed, did hv a hole on its door…after our brief (very very brief) investigation, we concluded dat d next time d rat (or mouse or rodent or wateva) decides 2 visit, he’ll regret it…SG was abt 2 start a debate on whether it was a he or she…but Ro’s timely punch 2 his ribs saved us d trouble

Later in d evng, wen idiot wasn’t at home, Ro came to d hall whr we were sittin around a chess board (watchin tv of course) n said dat d rat has entered our premises again…ideally we wud hv put on our commando suits, topped it wid a bandana, painted black streaks on our faces n blown up d rat wid our bazookas…but due 2 an acute shortage of resources (namely d commando suits, bandanas, paint n bazookas), we decided on d more traditional slam-bang approach

I volunteered 2 go 2 d back door n close it so dat d rat doesn’t run off 2 d store room…n SG n Ro were supposed 2 pick up something 2 hit it wid n tiptoe in frm d front door of d kitchen…I got a log on my way dere n got in n locked d door

SG n Ro came in together…SG had d cover of a tubelight in his hand…n Ro was holdin his biotech notes rolled up! Wid d kinda weapons of mass destruction dat these dudes were carryin, it was clear who had 2 strike

D rat was under d dinin table (yup d dinin table was in d kitchen smarty)…SG climbed on top of d table wid his deadly tubelight cover n offered 2 poke d rat out (yeah I knw he’s a pervert!)…Ro climbed on d platform n made a mic out of his paper roll n started givin live commentary of wat was hapng…I was standin wid d log raised n waitin 4 d target 2 come out

SG kept on poking it…n well after a certain point even a tubelight cover can be irriatatin…d rat dashed out…Ro yelled into his “mic” at wat degree d rat had run…I n SG exchanged glances n nodded: Ro is our next target

I saw d rat n boy was it huge…so more easy 2 hit…action time baby!!! :D
Slam-miss
Slam-hit
Slam-hit
Slam-hit

I got 3 hits out of 4…not bad 4 a 1st timer…d poor creature was lyin lifeless on d floor…we ensured its dead by poking it (SG again)…n wen we were sure its dead…we 3 gathered around it n started dancing n chantin:
“JHUMBALAKA JHUM
JHUMBALAKA JHUM
JHUMBALAKA JHUM
JHUM JHUM JHUM!!!”

I mentioned in d beginning dat dis incident changed someone’s life…dat someone (in case u hvnt guessed it by now) was d rat ;) (u chose d wrong house buddy)

So dats how dis urban legend began…n 2 dis day d elderly couple in d neighborin house hv no clue how a dead rat ended up on their terrace!!!

A Police Story

Long timeeee guys...dont think I hv stayed away from my blog 4 so long before...I cudnt even celebrate its 1st bday coz a lot of stuff has been hapng in my work as well as personal life (though none of dem r blog material)...sorry bloggy :(

Recently my frnd got a long “advice” frm a cop on how its not safe 2 talk on d cell n walk on roads at nite...resultin in the said frnd bein a much more enlightened individual ;)

Now dis reminded of my one n only run-in wid cops...dis hapnd wen I was in coll in mlore...now before I start wid d story I request all of u 2 maintain a minute’s silence2 observe d 1st bday of bloggy...59 58 57 56 55 54 53 52 51 50 49 48 47 46 45 44 43 42 41 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 33 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0...THANK U!

So dis was a reasonably cold dec nite...we were at d mlore railway station...n by “we” I mean me n my 3 roomies with whom I had rented out a flat...one of dem had fractured his foot tryin 2 figure out 4 himself which is stronger: his foot or an iron rod...well he sure did find dat out ;)

We had 2 ship him 2 his hometown which is a place called “kayamkulam” in kerala...ok we were putting him on a train but d phrase “we had 2 train him” doesn’t make any sense...so I guess we were dere 2 indeed ship him :D

Now we all bein coll kids, none of us felt d need 2 get platform tickets (don’t ask me wats d logic behind dat thot)...so dere we were...all 4 of us on d platform…hustled in a seat…an hr ahead of d train schedule whilin away our time doin literally nothing

All of a sudden, one of my frenz (lets call him d “idiot”) suggested dat we go around 4 a walk on d platform...havin no better option of my own 2 suggest, I n d idiot left d langda n d 4th guy dere n started our slow walk

A train dat was scheduled 2 leave before ours was at d station...havin walked d length of d platform we decided 2 walk inside d train...coz we had just landed in from mars n had neva seen d insides of a train before ;)

We walked inside 4 sometime...n den jumped out...n saw a cop walkin in front of us...I told d idiot 2 not attract attention n just act normal...

Idiot: u scared of cops dude?
Me: ssshhh
Idiot: u really scared of cops?
Me: SHUT UP
Idiot: look bro...I’ll teach u a trick or 2

Sayin dis he went rite behind d cop n started apin d way dat guy was walkin...suddenly d cop turned n luked at d idiot n I just walked by, as if I din know d idiot or d cop or d station or d entire concept of travelling in a train

I reached d seat whr the other guys were sittin without glancing back even once at wats hapng between d idiot n d cop...n sat dere wid these ppl n after a moment d idiot joined us...
His version: d cop din say anything (no one knows till date wat actually hapnd)

So all 4 of us were back whr we started...on d seat...but dis time like gud boys :D I filled d other 2 on wat had just hapnd...n dey echoed my opinion dat we shud kill d idiot n throw him rite on d tracks (pity we din do it)

N before we knew, a cop was by our side n lukin pretty angry...he was talkin in tulu n askin us wat we were doin in d train...now only d 4th guy in d group knew d language (lets call him smart-a..err smart-guy: SG in short)

We all turned 2 luk at SG so dat he cud talk us out of dis “situation”...now SG bein d SA dat he is, just luked up as if he was wonderin whether Pluto is actually a planet or not and if it was one, wud it support life

So I n d idiot started explainin 2 d cop dat we were just checkin out d seat 4 our langda frnd in d wrong train n how we came back wen we realized dat dis wasn’t d train...n all dis in a language dat we thot was tulu...d cop wasn’t lukin impressed n SG was still stuck wid his Pluto mystery

Cop: whr r u goin?
Me: Kkkkkkkk...kankanady
Cop: wat?

Now 4 d uninformed...langda was goin 2 kayamkulam n kankanady is like ten mins from mlore station

Suddenly d cop smiled n said be careful abt wat u do on such days n walked off...we said ok n luked at each other...each one of us silently wonderin wat on earth did he mean by “such days”

Dats wen SG back frm his Pluto research exclaimed dat its d nite of dec 5th n d next day was dec 6th (d babri masjid demolition day) n dat explained why dere were so many cops at d station...we all luked once again at each other n den without a word, all except langda rushed 2 get d platform tickets!!!

Moral of d story: Whoeva said dat every freakin story shud hv a moral!!!

Deres a strike goin on between d film producers n multiplex owners…so no movies r comin out…d last one I watched was “fast n d furious 4”…n only one word describes it best: kickass!

If u r gonna watch it, leave ur brains at home n just go in 4 some fun

Ciao :D

I’ve Been Tagged!!!

Well d last time I had 2 tag myself…but this time I’ve actually been tagged by someone…how cool (or is it kewl) is dat?!?!

Ok now into d details…I’ve been tagged by perplexed (I’m eternally indebted 2 u)…n dis tag requires me 2 take the sixth picture from the sixth folder on my pc and write about it…so here I go…

This was taken durin one of those really intrstng classes whr I just cudnt keep my eyes open…my frnd gave me his cell n a ball-point pen n asked me 2 make his cell funky!

Yup…u heard it rite…a ball-point pen 2 make a cell luk funky…he shud hv atleast given me a spray paint rite? But den I m such a gud guy dat I obliged without complainin (so nice of me na…I know)

So we started thinkin abt wat 2 do…I aint dat gud at drawin so I knew I had 2 scribble somethin n convince him dat its cool…we thot (or rather "I thot"…he isnt exactly much of a thinker) of diff quotes…n we shortlisted some…of dat we chose these 2 phrases…which actually sound atleast a lil original (don’t dey? Ok dey do…thanx)

I wrote d 1st one diagonal 4 some reason dat isnt yet known 2 anyone alive…n ended up almost crammin d whole area on d cell…so after a lot of thinkin (again just me) I wrote d 2nd line on d base…

He was showin around his new-found “funkiness” around n I was takin credit weneva anyone said its gud n just disappearin wen some gave those weird luks (cant spoil my rep rite?)

At d end of it…he found out dat it was so cool dat he neva used d panel again?!?! Wat do I say? Apart frm d obvious fact dat d poor guy doesn’t hv a gud taste!

I just realized dat its been a month n a half into 2009 n dis is my 1st post…yikes…dats like an awful lotta time 2 be lazy…I continue 2 surprise myself :D

So its d season of luv…n happy v-day 2 all…go hold hands n show ur luv 2 d world…n don’t care a damn abt d guys who poke their nose into stuff dats not one bit their business (read muthalik n his sena of jerks)…hv fun…n spread luv…ta ta!

My Last Post of 2008

Its holiday season…n all stores in town r offerin cool discounts…dats wen u know dat xmas n new yr r around d corner…he he…n no I hvnt shopped anything of late (wat wid recession n all in d news…how can a responsible citizen go out n splurge???)

So, in other words, u all can gift me stuff n make a responsible citizen a very very happy citizen :D (howzaat?)

So dis is d 1st new yr season for dis blog n its all excited…he he…I sound like d mtv tickr…treatin d blog as an individual ;)

N wid new yr comes d resolutions…now makin resolutions is one thing but stickin onto it is a totally diff issue…I dunno wat resolutions I’m gonna make…anyways I hv neva stuck onto any dat I hv made, so it doesn’t make much of a difference…well dis time one thing dat does come to my mind is makin it 2 d office on time…m tired of bein late…n even more tired of d jokes on me 4 neva bein on time :(

A frnd had told me dat December is her most fav month…maybe coz xmas is around…n my guess is coz her bday is also in d same month…but wateva it is it makes her feel on top of d world

N talking of bein on top of d world…I just made a list of 5 moments wen I hv felt on top of d world…n all of dem r true (of course anything I say is true…I m after all a honest n responsible citizen) :D

1. Visitin home wen u r stayin away due to work/study…nothing like touchin base n bein in d company of ur luved ones…where u don’t hv 2 act n appear intrstd in completely borin stuff…home is one place whr ur true nature comes 2 d fore…d real person in u is out only in d confines of ur nest
2. Holdin a 2-day old baby…ok holdin a 1-day or a 3-day old baby wud also be fantastic…I recently held a 2-day old sweety in my hand n trust me it was heaven :D
3. Getting an unexpected gift…n a really cool one at dat (I got an ipod classic…god bless my big bro) :D
4. Getting a call frm a old frnd wen u really wanna speak 2 someone
5. Bein introduced by someone as “meet (name), my best frnd” – priceless

Well I’m done 4 d yr…n d blog n me wanna wish all d readers a very happy xmas n a wonderful new yr ahead…hv a blast on 31st…I’ll be leavin town tmrw nite…dats why d advance wishes

PS: if u wish u can lemme know 5 moments wen u felt on top of d world…who knows I mite hv just started a tag ;)

Plain Lazy

Ok here’s an announcement: I’M ALIVE…wasn’t bloggin 4 no particular reason…d only excuse I can come up wid is: “I was lazy”…hope all u guys missed me ;) well I aint waitin 4 d replies 2 dat one ;)

Was thinking wat do I write abt…m kinda outta touch…so d creative brain cells aren’t particulary up n jumpin…so just recountin an incident dat hapnd recently…n btw isn’t dis blog supposed 2 contain d snippets of my intrstng life? So here it goes…

It was the week before the open book exams…I had my bag stuffed wid printouts n printouts n more printouts n den (no not some more printouts) 3 textbooks…so it was quite a heavy bag (logical conclusion rite?)

I hv dis habit of hittin d bed weneva I decide 2 study at my place, so I decided 2 sit back in office n inject some knowledge into my head n must say I failed miserably…I just ended up wastin time here wen I cud easily hv curled up in my bed by dat time if I had gone home (m I makin sense?)

At 8.30, I thot enuf was enuf n got up n took dis huge load wid me…as I swiped out n walked towards d gate, a guy came up to me…he said that he works in the electronic city office of the same company I work 4 n he had lost his atm card…I thot he was gonna ask 4 cash…but as usual I was wrong :)

He said he wanted 2 access d net 2 check if any transactions hv occurred in his a/c since he lost his card…I sighed n thot, “ok atleast its not gonna cost me.”

He was a middle aged guy (MAG)…around 40…luked d gentlemanly kind n most importantly he had d company tag on him (so not a terrorist)…I led him back 2 my cubicle…unlocked my pc n he took over…he logged into d site, took a printout of his a/c transactions n was done in 10-15 mins…we walked back exchanging private n confidential info on how cold d weather is ;)

MAG asked me whr I stay…n bingo he was goin on d same route…n said he’ll give me a drop…he had a 4-wheeler…I cudnt think of any reason 2 refuse…n so we got into his car n he started drivin on d wrong side of d road…both of us checkin out d opp side 2 see if dere is any opening 2 cross onto d other side.

N suddenly we heard a loud thud n d entire car shook…now I hv neva been in a car accident before…so it took a moment 4 me 2 realize wat had hapnd…a cab was parked in front of a restaurant n it had suddenly moved onto d road n hit d back part of our car.

So out we came, n an abuse hurlin session began…d other driver was givin it full-on 2 MAG in Kannada…n MAG maintained a dignified silence 4 sometime…but den he thot he had had enuf n showed d cabbie dat he was anything but dignified…he started back his verbal mouthlash in Hindi…it was fun…n d best part was I learnt some new gaalis (or were dey so old dat ppl hv stopped usin dem) ;)

Now dis cabbie was getting all d local support…d rick-wallahs n all those around joined him n started pointing out how MAG was d one 2 be blamed…n d cabbie was growin more confident n was a waggin his finger a lil too close 2 MAG’s face…I thot it was just a matter of time before a fight wud start…I mean d physical kind

Dis feelin kinda got me thinking…if a fight does start, shud I join? If it was a frnd, I wudnt hv thot twice…but I hardly knw dis guy…n d odds of getting beaten up were a million 2 one…d cabbie had got all d on-lookers on his side…d MAG was alone (ahem…he was probably bankin on me…but I wasn’t sure if I was really willin 2 prove him rite)

N den some wise guy suggested dat d cops be called…my mind started racin…wat if d cops come n tow d car away? My bag wid all d printouts n d texts were in dat…n he had locked d door…damn why do I hv 2 get involved here? I went n stood next 2 MAG
Me: why cant we just leave?
MAG: lets see wat he wants 2 do?
Me: well d only thing he seems intrstd 2 do is abuse u…n luks like he’s doin a gud job of it
MAG: (cold stare)
Me: s**t
MAG: let him call d cops if he wants…I hv been thru dis before…no big deal
Me: (thinking) yeah rite…now dat makes me feel so much more better

Suddenly, d cabbie turned n got into his cab n left…still continuing his noble deed of cursin MAG…now d crowd started dispersin n I let out a sigh of relief…MAG started checkin d car 4 scratches…he remarked: “dere is a dent here na?”
Me: yeah yeah…now can we move? (thinking: or atleast unlock d door so I can get my bag)
MAG: pretty nasty one…think I shud claim insurance?
I went around 2 see wat he’s pointing at n I din see anything…I crouched n had a closer look…still nothing
Me: yup…claim it…its very bad (thinking: plz unlock d god damn door)

Finally we got into d car n left…we crossed onto d other side n MAG started his pravachan on how it was all d cabbie’s fault…I just nodded waitin 4 wat seemed like an eternity 2 reach my place n silently regrettin d moment I actually thot of helping dis guy.

Moral of d story: kill d idiot who said u shud do a gud deed every day!!!