Saturday, July 31, 2010

The Top Ten Blunt Edges' Pickup Lines That Never Work

1.       At a place of worship:
When she has her eyes closed and is in deep prayer, jump right in front of her and shout:
Ta da! Your prayers have been answered!

2.       At the movies (Watching a sob-fest):
When she lets her tear glands loose, put your arm around her and in comforting style say:
Though he is going away from her in the movie, I’m sure they are doing it off screen.

3.       At the movies (Watching a horror flick):
Shriek and cling on to her when a funny-looking ghost pops up on screen and don’t leave her for at least 5 minutes and keep asking:
Did it go? Did it go?

4.       In a lift:
When you are stuck in a lift and you happen to have a travel bag with you, open your bag, take out your spare underwear, put it on top of your pants, and wrap your towel around your neck like a cape and say:
Why fear when I’m here?
And then press the “HELP” button.

5.       At a bar:
You see her. She sees you. With a cool swagger, go up to her and ask:
Do you dance here?

6.       At a bar – 2:
You see her. She sees you. With a cool swagger, go up to her and ask:
Yikes! What is that smell? Is it you?

7.       At a bar – 3:
You see her. She sees you. With a cool swagger, go up to her and ask:
Seen any hot chick around?

8.       At a hospital:
Jump right in front of her and with a sigh of relief say:
Finally you decided to get the b**b job done ha?

9.       At a restaurant:
Seeing her at the opposite table with a group of friends on a binge night, get on your knees and act as if you are searching for something underneath your table and ensure you make enough of a scene that she, and better her entire group, notices.
Have your friend ask you: “What you looking for dude?
Your answer (as you turn to the girl gang): “A weighing machine. Anyone seen one lately?

10.      Anywhere, anytime:
I'm Blunt Edges’ friend."
Or better still.
I'm Blunt Edges."

PS: The idea and the title for this post came from a random comment by Grayquill a while ago. So even though it was a completely sarcastic remark by one of my most elderly friends, I still wanna thank him. So thank you Mr. Grayquill :P
PPS: I know I haven’t been active in the blogging world for some time now. I haven’t even been over at your blogs and I have like a million tags pending against me. I’ll surely try to catch up slowly. And a huge thanks to all those who kept enquiring where I had disappeared. It feels good to know people noticed  :D
PPPS: Wish all of you a very very happy Friendship Day :D
PPPPS: 115 followers? Unbelievably awesome! :D