Saturday, July 31, 2010

The Top Ten Blunt Edges' Pickup Lines That Never Work


1.       At a place of worship:
When she has her eyes closed and is in deep prayer, jump right in front of her and shout:
Ta da! Your prayers have been answered!

2.       At the movies (Watching a sob-fest):
When she lets her tear glands loose, put your arm around her and in comforting style say:
Though he is going away from her in the movie, I’m sure they are doing it off screen.

3.       At the movies (Watching a horror flick):
Shriek and cling on to her when a funny-looking ghost pops up on screen and don’t leave her for at least 5 minutes and keep asking:
Did it go? Did it go?

4.       In a lift:
When you are stuck in a lift and you happen to have a travel bag with you, open your bag, take out your spare underwear, put it on top of your pants, and wrap your towel around your neck like a cape and say:
Why fear when I’m here?
And then press the “HELP” button.

5.       At a bar:
You see her. She sees you. With a cool swagger, go up to her and ask:
Do you dance here?

6.       At a bar – 2:
You see her. She sees you. With a cool swagger, go up to her and ask:
Yikes! What is that smell? Is it you?

7.       At a bar – 3:
You see her. She sees you. With a cool swagger, go up to her and ask:
Seen any hot chick around?

8.       At a hospital:
Jump right in front of her and with a sigh of relief say:
Finally you decided to get the b**b job done ha?

9.       At a restaurant:
Seeing her at the opposite table with a group of friends on a binge night, get on your knees and act as if you are searching for something underneath your table and ensure you make enough of a scene that she, and better her entire group, notices.
Have your friend ask you: “What you looking for dude?
Your answer (as you turn to the girl gang): “A weighing machine. Anyone seen one lately?

10.      Anywhere, anytime:
I'm Blunt Edges’ friend."
Or better still.
I'm Blunt Edges."

PS: The idea and the title for this post came from a random comment by Grayquill a while ago. So even though it was a completely sarcastic remark by one of my most elderly friends, I still wanna thank him. So thank you Mr. Grayquill :P
PPS: I know I haven’t been active in the blogging world for some time now. I haven’t even been over at your blogs and I have like a million tags pending against me. I’ll surely try to catch up slowly. And a huge thanks to all those who kept enquiring where I had disappeared. It feels good to know people noticed  :D
PPPS: Wish all of you a very very happy Friendship Day :D
PPPPS: 115 followers? Unbelievably awesome! :D

78 comments:

Kanishk said...

hahahaha 2nd one might just work.. imo... :)

Asif said...

hehehe keep trying man they might just work one day. ;)
still laughing at the first and ninth points.
Happy Friendship day to you too :)

Darshan Chande said...

That's was cool, huh... Especially the last one!

And those bar ones are super-hilarious! :D

Sangitha :) said...

Im sure u muz have used all these pick up lines and the below points i presume muz have been the girl's reaction.. :P

1. and then she turned a non believer :P
2. and then she labelled u a gossiper :P
3. and she screamt out of the theatre coz a darawana looking ghost juz clinged to her.. :P
4. she must have laughed coz ur underwear was torn.. hahaha :D
5. am out of comments since i cant stop laughing at my above comment! :))
6. still laughing! :))
7. still still laughing! :))
8. and i fell off my chair thinking of the slap u got on ur face.. rofl :P =))
9. maybe u r the weighing scale.. I mean ur weight = the girl gang combined weight :P
10. did u get a cudnt care less 'So' in return? :P

I know u want to smother me till death nw.. hehe :P

Neways to one of my chweeetest blogger friend.. to the king of sarcasm..Happy Friendship Day Chandler..err..Blunt!! :P

The header is juz awesome yaa.. Loved it..!! :)

Sangitha :) said...

ayyyoo.. itna bada comment mara maine.. :o but u like lengthy comments na..so take it as my frndship day gift to u.. hehe :P

Shanu said...

LOL!

And I am sure you have tried each one of these 'pick up' lines :P

@ Sangi

Super cool comment...me likes :)

IcE MaiDeN said...

1. toooooo cliche
2. might just work :P (girl in question should have a sense of humor :P)
3. makes you look like a wuss :P
4. she will press the HELP button faster than you
5. *zataaakkkkkk* zor ka thappad zor se lage
6. "dude, thats you."
7. "i think you used to be one eh?"
8. "Ye, i heard the doc who converted into a guy is pretty good na?"
9. dude, d women are drunk. u think that much drama will work?! :P
10. runs away in terror.

isse apni ladki pat gayi? baapre!!!! :P :D *looks around for the ladki in question*

Cheers,
Annie.

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

oye blunty cool header yaar...fundoo laga...pls tel ur friend to make one for me too...i m impressed. ok about those pickup lines...accha hain, i m sure u might tried some of these for sure :) 10th wala thoda zyada nahi huva?

NIM said...

dude...i don't think they even qualify as pick up lines!
What were u thinking?! :P

Gymnast said...

Lol..

I actully think 2 was almost funny!

TurbulentMind said...

**serious tone** good atttempt Mr. Edges..

okay enough..Funny!

But I totally loved Sangitha's comment...she SO stole your thunder..

S said...

And how many of them have actually worked? I actually imagined you doing all of that :) And 3, 4 & 5 were awesome :P

P.S: How have u really managed so many followers? :O

P.P.S: I am not gonna 'welcome u back' again with this comment.

Anita :) said...

Hello, Mr. Chandler Bing!!
TOTALLY.
ROFL.

Pavitra .... said...

Ohhh..
They really didn't work..??
Thats bad... :D
Hehehe..
Really hilarious post!
Happy Friendships Day!

sakhii•• said...

hhaha...this is fun!!

Harini said...

I dont anything except for the second will work. Did u ever pick up a girl?

S said...

There is something waiting for you on my blog :)

http://toblog-withlove.blogspot.com/2010/08/to-blogwith-love.html

Rain Girl said...

115 followers? am so jealous!! :P

hehe congrats buddy

and humorous post as ever...God knows I needed a smile today :)

psst! ever tried any of those lines? ;)

Riddhiculuos said...

1. Blunt- "Ta da! Your prayers have been answered!"
Girl- bhagwan aapne meri sun li. Chalo ab bag uthao aur kal se time pe aajaana.

2.Blunt- “Though he is going away from her in the movie, I’m sure they are doing it off screen.”
Girl- "Why do you think I am crying?"

3. Blunt- “Did it go? Did it go?”
Girl- "Yes, he said I could do with one at a time"

4.I agree with sangitha and ice maiden. Girl will definetly press the help button faster than you. the moment she sees a man wearing an underwear over pants.

5. B -“Do you dance here?”
G - No, I bounce. I am the bouncer's girlfriend.

hmmm rest later.. good post bluntuji

:)

rohini said...

Bar ones ..good...made me laugh as my day was boring..thxn for that...
congrts on ur achievement of 11 5 followers...and be regular on ur posts...:)
we all miss Blunt Edegs

Chandrika Shubham said...

:D

Silently missing u on my blogs. :)

Visit soon. :)

Adam said...

fantastic list.. 10 ways that will always fail! My fav one was #3, the horror movie one.. Probably the only line I won't be acting out! Blog more often.. :)

moonlite:D said...

hiya bluntu!! nice come back! loved the post,,,

surely agree with you..YOUR pickup lines willl never work out!! except the last :D

BrAiN FrEEzE said...

hahahahahahahaha!!! M guessing u hav jus thot of these pick up lines and not actually done al of that to realise that they don't work !! **winkkkk**
Super post that made me laugh ! Gud job Mr. Blunt! keep the posts more regular aftr all 115 followers is a bigggg responsibility !! :)
n happy frenship day to u too Blogger fren!!

Beauty and the BEast said...

OMG!! I better start wearing T-shirts which say 'Will Pepper spray lame lines' :P :P

I always leave this space with a smile!! Thanks :)

blunt edges said...

@ Kanishk
I would warn from u from trying it out though ;)

@ Asif
I sure will buddy. Hopefully someday these points will find a way into a post titled "The 10 Coolest Pickup Lines" ;)

@ Darshan
Glad u liked it. Thanks a lot :D

@ Sangitha
OHH-MYYY-GAWWWD!! U are totally on fire!
1. That would make the 2 of us :P
2. Err..I don't have a smart comeback for that :(
3. I was sure someone would come up with this! :P
4. Hahaha. It sure was funny!
5. LOL! Still funny!
6. Ok. It's not that funny.
7. Okay! Now stop it! :P
8. Chalo issi bahane choo toh li ;)
9. Hmmm now I wouldn't argue with that one ;)
10. I always do!! :(

About smothering u to death, I wouldn't deny that the thought did cross my mind, but then u called me Chandler and all I can do is smile n give u a fresh lease of life. Lucky day 4 u ;)
I'm sweet? Well u aren't that bad either :P
Thanks 4 the awesome f-day gift buddy. U rock! :D

kanagu said...

Welcome back Blunt edges :) :)

ROFL post :) :) surely we get some beating from the girl :)

blunt edges said...

@ Shanu
I choose not to answer that ;)

@ Annie
1. I know! That's Blunt Edges for u ;)
2. U really think so? **notes down**
3. That's precisely why it's on the list of pickup lines that never work :P
4. What if I stand right in front of the button panel? :P
5. Copy-pasting this from my previous comment: "Chalo issi bahane choo toh li" ;)
6. My reply: "I know. So do u like it?" ;)
7. No comments! Grrr!
8. Still no comments! Some more grrr!
9. No it won't. Refer to my reply to no.3 :P
10. Now that's normal!

Well, what do I say, I do have a list of pickup lines that do work too. And the girl in question is a shikaar of one of those ;)

@ G3
I guess u did get what u asked for ;)
"Some of these"? All are tried, tested and proven not-worthy :D
"10th wala kuch zyada hua"? What about the rest? ;)

@ NIM
Ok. Sorry :P

@ Gymnast
"Almost funny"? **faints**

blunt edges said...

@ Turbulent Mind
Blunt Edges is bada dilwala. He doesn't mind when others steal his thunder. Please clap for him :P

@ S
Not a single one! Actually that's why the post is named "The Top Ten Blunt Edges' Pickup Lines That Never Work" :P
Thanks for liking 3, 4 and 5 :D
PS: I have no clue :|
PPS: Oh please don't. I keep on disappearing! And I plan to continue that way ;)
Thanks for the "something"! :D

@ Anita
Thank a lot :D
And an even bigger THANKS for calling me Mr. Chandler Bing!! :D

@ Pavitra
Yeah they just don't work! Strange na? ;)
Thanks a lot :D

@ sakhii
Thank u :)

@ Harini
Err..I'll pass that question :P

@ Rain Girl
Yeah the magic number is 115!! :D
Thanks 4 all the nice words :)
And no one will ever know the answer to that question ;)

blunt edges said...

@ Riddy
1. Blunt: "U talking to me or bhagwan?" :P
2. Good one! :D
3. Blunt: "Even I prefer doing one at a time!" ;)
4. I object!
5. Blunt: "Bhaago!!"

Waiting for the rest. Thank u Riddyji :D

@ rohini
Thanks a lot :)
I wanna be regular. Just that post ideas seem to strike less often these days. Guess am aging ;)

@ Chandrika
Will come over soon :)

@ Adam
LOL!! U not doing yourself a favor by letting out that secret about #3 buddy ;)
Thank u :D

@ moonlite
Isn't it strange that almost all my posts seem like a comeback? ;)
LOL! I'm sure that was a joke about the last one working! :D

@ Smriti
Shhhhh!! How did u figure that out?? It's a secret!! ;)
U talking about about "bigggg responsibility"?? I think its huge!!
Thanks a lot for liking the post as well as the wishes buddy :D

@ Beauty
Oh come on, am sure even u love lame lines. In fact, I think they are cooler than the cool ones ;)
Glad u liked it :)

@ kanagu
Thanks a lot buddy :)
As long as the girl is pretty, i'm sure we won't mind ;)

Grayquill said...

Hey, who are you calling elderly? Thanks for the link though. Now let's talk about your serious personal problems. Before I even start I am guessing you have no sisters to help you. So here is my elderly advise - find a sister you can borrow who can give you some hints. If you do find such a sister to borrow - take notes. Now, whoever you have been getting your pickup advise from realize that person hates you.
You are pretty funny though so that leaves me with hope that somewhere over the rainbow there is a damsel with soft edges perfect for you. But if you meet her try not to talk.

Nona said...

You deserve credit for trying out these lines that never work. :)

Jovian said...

Good one.. :-) Can't stop laughing ..

Madhu said...

A post like this,only u can write..

u sure have no Gf's do u?
Or say,who is suffering under ur cover! :P:D

Super template man..the header is like so cute..
and yeah, i did notice that u were missing..get u lazy ass to work Mr!! :P

happy friendships day..:)

buckingfastard said...

tch tch!! tried the last one...dint workd...dey confused 'i m blunt edges' with 'mine is blunt edged'!!

ahh the lift one is best!! gotta try it once....atleast she will hav to face the horror...no place to run away **evil grin**

manoranjini said...

Nooo..none of them would work,Blunt!Though if you let it slip that you are the guy who blogs over at this place,I think you may have a veery good chance!Soo many followers....:D Keep coming back more often ,dude..

suruchi said...

Hi Blunts...
Finallyyyyyyyyyyy..we hear from you!
And hear in your true blue mad style!
Needless to say..loved all the madness...but the bar scenarios were hilarious!
Waise what would be the top ten lines to pick up Blunt Edges?;-)

blunt edges said...

@ Grayquill
Elderly it is my friend. No two ways about it :P
You got it right, no sisters. And not intending to make any new ones either!
A damsel with soft edges does sound great :D
Will try not to talk, can't guarantee it though ;)

@ Nona
Well with great stupidity comes great shamelessness ;)

@ Jovian
Great to see u here buddy! Thank you :)

@ Madhu
I can't make up my mind if the first line is a compliment or just plain old mocking :P
Will pass that GF-wala question ;)
The template is the same. Only the header changed :D
Happy friendship day to you too :)
PS: Lazy ass hears you, but still is lazy :P

@ buckingfastard
ROFL!! Maybe that's why that never worked!!
Go try it buddy. You have my moral support :D

@ manoranjini
Even that doesn't work. Strange, I know! ;)

@ suruchi
Great to see one of my most fav bloggers back at my place. I know I have missed out a lot of your posts. Will try to catch up soon! :)
Thanks for all the good words :D
And that, my friend, you would have to find out yourself ;)

Ajay said...

Hey Suni.. I'm sure these lines are tried and testd.. ;-) :P

Great job buddy!!! keep it up !!!

As the Mind Meanders said...

Oh Blunty...

You are such an inspiration...

I used these lines after you put them up on your blog...

AND THEY WORKED!!!!

blunt edges said...

@ Ajay
As I said before, tried, tested and proven not-worthy ;)
Thanks buddy :)

@ Mr.Mind
Well hasn't it been long since we crossed paths! :)
They worked?? You mean they really worked?? OMG! **faints**

iceprincess said...

ROFL...
damn
superawesome
i wldnt know whether to hit a guy who comes up with such lines or just laugh my arse off!
damn...njyd!!!



sigh sob...sigh...i need inspiration....

The Survivor said...

I liked the #3 one better :P

Thommy said...

Good one...

silverine said...

Brilliant!

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

4 is hilarious!

Sriram said...

Awesome :D

blunt edges said...

@ iceprincess
So I can atleast hope that these lines wouldn't always be followed by a *whack* sound ;)
Thanks for all the nice words :)
And the queen of randomness doesn't need inspiration, just start typing and it will all come back! :)

@ The Survivor
Is it coz that's the only one that involves some physical contact with the girl? ;)

@ Thommy
Thanks and welcome to Blunt Edges :)

@ silverine
Thank you :)

@ Karthik
That's my fav too :D

@ Sriram
Thanks buddy :)

Tomz said...

Are you sure they wont work at all...I think they certain kind of appeal, especially the last one :)

$$ said...

This is hilarious, totally!!!! ROFL..

Have been away from the blog-world for quite some time; thanks to office hours! Have loads to catch up at blunt edges!! :)

Enjoy..

Shas said...

This is seriously funny.
Have you really done all that you wrote :D
Keep it going!!

Fickle Cattle said...

Lol dude. Lol. This is awesome.

http://ficklecattle.blogspot.com/

Sourav said...

“Finally you decided to get the b**b job done ha?”

KILLER! I can actually imagine me saying that to a girl I know! ;)

PS - I'd mention your copyrights anyway! :p

Tanvi Nimkar said...

Hilarious!!!! Cool,Great, Funny, Out of the box, what more? No words to express!

Wonderful post!

blunt edges said...

@ Tomz
Now isn't that cool that you think it will work! Thanks buddy :D

@ $$
Thanks. Glad you are back! :)
Well there's never "loads" at Blunt Edges courtesy my ridiculously moderate imagination! ;)

@ Shas
I may have. Or maybe not! :P
Thank you :)

@ Fickle Cattle
Thank you and welcome to Blunt Edges :)

@ Sourav
Go ahead buddy. Say it! But don't forget that it featured in a list of lines that don't work ;)

@ Tanvi
Whoa. That's a lot of adjectives. Honored :D
Welcome to Blunt Edges :)

Nipun said...

That was really awesome man!!

Tell me if u have tried these even once and what were there answers?

Uber cool..:)


Keep writing.

Cheers

Nuts

wildflower said...

So u're Blunt Edges han ;) !

blunt edges said...

@ Nipun
Thanks a lot buddy :)
I just may have tried a few of them ;)

@ wildflower
Errr..yes! Am I missing something here?

Sharda said...

:)Love ur post.

AS said...

nice post :)

AS said...

nice post :)

blunt edges said...

@ Sharda/AS
Thank you and welcome to Blunt Edges :)

Fantasies of a Lifetime said...

rotfl !! And none of them worked??! It sure is a difficult world :P

♫♪♥Lonely Dreamer♥♪♫ said...

HeY Uncle :)
How have you been? :p
I like your new header !!

Angel said...

lovely

blunt edges said...

@ Fantasies
A difficult world indeed :)

@ Juhi
Doing good. Thanks a lot :)

@ Angel
Thank you :)

commited to life said...

had a hearty laugh.. thank you!

p.s was just passing by

commited to life said...

read few more posts.. loved your blog

simply me said...

well you would definitely be a perfect person for guest post ...and that's coz....my blog has serious serious humor post drought ....and well you write amazingly....and i am sure my threat will give you enough time to write up something :D
thanks
bye t.c.

Devil Incarnate... said...

Lol..totally hilarious ones..
loved it all the way..

COMMUNI said...

i read this post 2 days ago andi'm still laughing...

kaushiki said...

awsum post..!! lkd ur blog:)

happy writin :)

blunt edges said...

@ commited to life
Thanks a lot for the sweet words :)
Welcome to Blunt Edges :)

@ simply me
Would love to write a guest post, but am so out of ideas right now :(

@ Devil Incarnate
Thanks a ton and welcome to Blunt Edges :)

@ COMMUNI
Awesome :D

@ kaushiki
Huge thanks :)
Welcome to Blunt Edges :)

Maryam said...

Hey. You have been awarded on my blog www.idare2differ.blogspot.com PLEASE DO VISIT AND CHECK IT OUT (:

blunt edges said...

@ Maryam
Thanks a lot. Will check right away :)
And welcome to Blunt Edges :D

iceprincess said...

u got an award...visit my blog!

CATGIRL !! said...

i like teh weighing machine one n the 'did it go" one...n yeah i envy ur comment NUMBER..ufff...

. I write on relationships mostly as well as some funny stuff.
I hope u can be a follower if u like my blog? Don’t forget to comment please !!
The Emotional Lava
Best of Luck for ur blogging.

blunt edges said...

@ iceprincess
You have said this in Feb, and am seeing it now!! Thanks anyways buddy :D

@ CATGIRL
Thanks a lot lady! And the comment count has also always baffled me. Maybe it has got something to do with the fact that I blog once in a blue moon :)