Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Nameless Award!

Bliss has given me an award (but for some strange reason, it doesn’t have a name!). It just came with the following rules:
1) List 7 things about yourself that nobody knows.
2) Pass on this award to 7 other people.
3) Comment on their blog and let them know that they are tagged.

I know I have many tags pending against my name, but this one’s an award, yeah yeah I know it doesn’t have a name and a fancy pic, but it’s an award nevertheless (or so claims Bliss), so this goes first!

So 7 things about me that nobody knows ha? This is gonna be fun:
1.    I’m an atheist. Yup, you heard it right. I ain’t anti-god or anything, but I just don’t pray. I’m not the kind who argues about the existence of god. I respect those who believe and their beliefs, and I expect them to respect me and my beliefs (or rather the lack of them)
2.    I’m terrible with kids. I just can’t do the sweet-talk thing with them. I remember going to my cousin’s place and meeting his kid for the first time. They bought the kid and thought I might pick him up or talk to him or something. Six people stood around me waiting for my next move. And all I could manage was a wave of my hand at the kid, who seemed more relieved than me that he could go and do something fun than sit with me.
3.    I’m dying to see when and who will be my 50th follower. The list has been stuck at 48 for some time now.
4.    I just can’t figure out why the world’s crazy over Angelina Jolie. Ok, she acts well, but sexiest lady in the world? NO WAY!
5.    I’m not a morning person. I like it quiet in the mornings and I can get real sulky if I’m subjected to lots of noise. I normally carry on with that mood till I have my cuppa tea.
6.    I have this weird habit of noticing the minutest of details of the movies I like. For eg. Did you know that in Rang De Basanti, Karan’s (played by Siddharth) character’s first and last line in the movie is ‘Nautanki Saala’
7.    I have been working for a little over 3 years, and I already know I’m in the wrong field, but I still have no clue what I really wanna do!

So there you go, 7 things about me which I hope you didn’t know. And now I pass on this award (yeah IT IS AN AWARD!) to the following lucky people:
1.    Shanu (It would be really fun to know your 7 secrets! Hope you do it!) :)

2.    Iceprincess (There now you even have an idea for a post!) :D

3.    Riddhi (I’m sure your list would be downright hilarious) :D

4.    Grayquill (Never seen you do a tag. Try one for a change) :)

5.    Ashley (Let’s actually see if you are 45 or 18) ;)

6.    Madhu (There I tag you once more) :)

7.    Meenakshi (Thought I would give you an award too) :)

8.    Lakshmi (Maybe you can make it more than one post for this month) ;)

9.    Anita (You should have a lot of spare time on the bench! Spare some for this tag) ;)

10.  Zeba (Hope the intelligent blogger spills some secrets) :D

11.  Nim (One more person who has lotsa free time!) :D

12.  Parry (Let’s have some laughter here buddy) :D

13.  Gayathri (I hope your first secret isn’t that you are related to Vishwanathan Anand) :D

14.  Reflections (Just coz she loves awards, even if it’s a nameless one!) ;)

Yeah I know it went a little above 7, sue me :P

Saturday, November 28, 2009

I Hate It When...

1. People break queues in the office cafeteria. I would have given them a piece of my mind (and my arm) if it was outside.
2. I have to work overnight every alternate day and I come home at the most weird of times (read anytime between 2 to 6 am)
3. I’m expected to work on weekends also.
4. No matter how hard I work and how long I slog, there are atleast 2 other people in my team who work harder and slog longer.
5. I don’t get time to update my blog even though there are a couple of ideas in my mind.
6. I barely get time to read all the blog updates that pop up on my blog list.
7. I have to cancel movie plans with HC (Hot Crush) because of work.
8. She goes for the same movie with a guy friend and messages me saying she had loads of fun.
9. I see the ‘Happening’ song from ‘Main Aur Mrs. Khanna’. Whatever happened to the extemely beautiful Preity from ‘Salaam Namaste’
10. I can’t read Mr.Mind’s and Choco’s blog anymore.
11. I can’t think of a valid/funny 11th point!
12. Wait! I hate this too ->

It’s from my office restroom and I see it multiple times every single working day of my life and its strategic placement ensures I read it every time I go in for a leak.

So I do hate 12 (or maybe 11) things now, but there is one thing good that’s happened lately. I have been chosen for the ultra-prestigious, uber-cool ‘Superior Scribbler Award’ by Meenakshi. ***huge applause + standing ovation***

So now these are the rules that accompany this award. Talk about great responsibilities accompanying great power!
* Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.
* Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.
* Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post, which explains The Award.
* Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!
* Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

Since I don’t have a huge history of following rules, I’m gonna break the first rule! I have more than 5 favourite bloggers, so every single blogger who reads this can take the award and display it on their blog. But mind you, you should follow the rules. Only I can break them shamelessly ;)

PS: I'm not some weirdo who goes on clicking snaps in the loo, it was a one-off thing!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Namma BMTC (Not-so-loosely translated as ‘Our BMTC’)

Everyone who has been to Bangalore and has travelled in the BMTC buses here, please raise your hands! (The rest of you can scratch your chins :D)

The BMTC bus conductor takes pride in not returning the exact change when you buy the ticket. If you give Rs.30 for a Rs.25 ticket, he’ll get you the ticket, and with a ease that comes only with years of practice, he’ll write “5” behind the ticket. Now this means that any time before you get down, you had better “remind” him that he has to return you the change, that is, if you actually want the change! But if by any chance you forget to remind him about the fiver, don’t expect him to remember and return it to you. Mind you, it’s not because he has any intention of keeping your money, but the simple reason is that he is a very very busy man, who doesn’t have time to remember about the trivial amount. Which, in fact, he could have easily returned to you the moment you bought the ticket as is bag is always overflowing with loose change, but he doesn’t. Because he wants to improve the collective memory of the citizens of Bangalore! (So nice of him na?)

And when you do remind him about the change, and he returns it to you, he’ll tear the ticket or scratch off the “5” just in case you don’t ask him for the change again later! You see, there’s room for only one smart-ass in a BMTC bus!

So, last week, I boarded a bus, found myself a seat, took out the cash and bought a ticket. And I was lucky enough to get a “7” behind my ticket (yeah I like to think of it as some kinda lottery ticket!) I didn’t know how much the ticket would cost and therefore couldn’t provide the exact change and ended up with the 7 on my ticket.

Now 7 is a very odd number. Yeah you would think it’s not even, so it’s odd. But how on earth is it “very odd”, right? It’s very odd because it doesn’t matter much when it’s a 1, 2, 3 or for that matter 4 behind the ticket. Even if I forget to ask it and lose the money, I feel it’s a small amount. It’s actually “change”/“chillar”. But when it touches 5, it kinda becomes not-so-small. Its half-plate panipuri! It’s a Cadbury Munch! It’s not chillar anymore!

So, mindful of the fact that I do have to remind the gentleman in khaki about the Rs.7 he owes me, I sat there listening to 'Hey there Delilah!' on my cell. Around halfway into the journey, the conductor came near me. And me being a Bangalorean with a reasonably good memory, said:
Boss, saat rupaye dene hai” (“You gotta pay me 7”)

The conductor looked at me as if I had asked him to give me half of his salary! I thought the busy man had, as usual, forgotten about the money and dished out the ticket from my jeans. He gave a scowl and said something in Kannada. I normally can make out the gist of most things I hear, but this was a total bouncer.
I asked: “Kya?” (“What?”)
He: (muttering some more stuff in Kannada under his breath) “Where? Stop?”
I told him the name of the stop.
He: “You don’t ask. I give”

Saying this, he turned and walked back to the front. I was stunned. Now this was a first. They normally mutter stuff and pay. By the time I regained my composure and thought I should say something, he was standing next to the driver.

I shook my head and suddenly realized that everyone around me was looking at me.
Tish-phish-doom-shoom-BOOM!!! And there lay my ego on the floor of the bus all splattered and squashed!

I just did what a man does in situations like this. I switched the song to Nickelback’s 'Rockstar' and started playing Mini Golf on my cell! So, engrossed was I putting the ball in the hole that I didn’t realize that my stop had come. I jumped out just a quarter of a second before the doors of the bus closed and that’s when I remembered that I never got the 7!

I looked into the bus and saw the conductor looking at me from the window. I gave a scowl back and stared at him. The bus started moving slowly and I had to cross the road. He was still staring at me from the glasses at the back of the bus and even I didn’t move my gaze. Time stood still as neither of us looked away. The silent mature battle of the egos of two fully-grown men was on full display to the entire world but not a single soul apart from the two of us knew about it!

“You ain’t gonna win this one dude!” I yelled at him without saying a word.

SCREEEEEEECHHHHHHHHHH!!! A car braked right next to my legs. I had walked right to the middle of the road staring at the conductor.

“You blind *******! Can’t you ******* see and cross the road? Bloody ********”...” that’s the last thing I heard as I ran onto the other side of the road far from BMTC conductors and angry drivers!

Note: I know I haven’t posted in a long while. And writing this one also took some effort with all the rustiness creeping in. A huge thanks to all the people who at some point or the other coaxed me to update. It really feels good to see people wanting to read something I come up with. I have never been prolific with my posts: 20 posts in 18 months isn’t something to boast about. All I can say in my defence are the famous lines by Miss Kido:
Cowards blog everyday...The brave blog but, once in a while!!!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

My First Time

"The first time, they say, is always special.
The first time, they say, is always memorable.
The first time, they say, is the best."

My first time was in college. I had stayed in the college hostel for the first sem. N after 5 or so months of terrible food, a terrible timetable n an even more terrible warden, we shifted. “We” is a group of 4: me (has there ever been a “we” without a “me”), Idiot, SG n Langda.
Note: These characters (yup they really were some characters!) have made fleeting appearances in A Police Story and Jhumbalaka Jhum.
So “we” found ourselves an apartment n started a new life without any warden, without any timetable n most importantly without any food. Idiot n Langda claimed they can cook like a dream, guess all they meant was they can cook IN their dreams. So we ended up eating outside all the time!
Now the problem was that we almost always skipped breakfast coz by the time we woke up n pulled ourselves to college, it would be late. N we all being quite “liberal” eaters, this directly affected our academic performance ;)
Then one day Idiot came with the news that a lady in the building provides breakfast to many families there. He suggested that even we should try this breakfast outsourcing thing to which we all readily agreed coz when it comes to matters of food, no one argues with Idiot!
So it was decided! The lady was assigned the honour of getting us the 1st meal of the day every morning n we could no longer give “lack of breakfast” as an excuse for not performing well in the exams!!!
N thus started our tryst with idlis, dosas, neer dosas n the like. She used 2 get it by 7.30 every morning and we had to tell her how many plates she should get the next day. Plain n simple.
The food was good, we were happy, but for some reason, our grades never improved!
The lady knew only kannada and only SG knew the language of the land. So we were at his mercy 2 talk 2 her every day. One day SG wasn’t there and this lady came n said something, which by our loose translation skills meant: “My kid will bring in the food tomorrow”
Now this lady had 2 children: a teenage daughter and a school-going son. We got into a guessing game about who would bring the food the next day. No points for guessing who the favourite was! :D
So the next morning, the 3 of us woke up early n waited for the breakfast to arrive. The bell rang! I beat the other 2 to open the door. N there was a 10-year old kid standing at the door with our food.
***Collective sigh***
Sadly, I took the food and passed it to Langda, who, even more sadly, took it to the kitchen. The kid hung around to get back his plates n all of us just ignored him. That’s when he asked me THE question: “Mummy asked how many plates should I get tomorrow uncle?”
***More silence***
“OK! Four, FOUR, FOURRR!”, I think I might have shouted!
He ran off scared. My friends were still in shock. N not a single soul spoke for 5 whole minutes. N the silence broke after exactly 5mins, when Idiot asked, “Breakfast anyone?”
N that’s the first time someone called me “uncle”.

"The first time, they say, is always special.
The first time, they say, is always memorable.
The first time, they say, is the best."

Wish I could get my hands on the moron who said that!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

A Threatening Tag!

Shanu has tagged me n if she had the option, she would have pointed a gun 2 my head n forced me 2 fill this tag atleast 24hrs before! So here it goes...


1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4 –
Book? ***looks around the room...scratches head...gets up from the comfort of the bed n walks around in search of a book*** YESSS!!! Got it!!!
The book (or rather a training manual) is “OOAD with UML and Rational Rose” and the 4th line of page 18 is:
“A class may have any number of operations or none at all.”

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can & catch air?
The wall.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Watched MTV last...n the last song I saw was “Wake Up Sid” (its kinda catchy!)

4. Without looking, guess what time it is?
01.00 am

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
12.50 am

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? –
The fan whirring ;)

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Around 10.30 pm...met my friends!

8. Before you started this Q&As, what did you look at?
This same tag done by iceprincess (n the fact that SHE could do it...spurned me 2 do it ASAP)
PS: she’s been dormant 4 a long time

9. What are you wearing? –
      Dark blue track pants and a blue tee.

10. When did you last laugh?
      When I was out with my friends (refer the answer to qsn no. 7)

11. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Paint :P (I have had this same qsn in an earlier tag and I had given the same ans) :D

12. Seen anything weird lately?
      Yup! TAGS!!! Almost every blog I visit has had atleast one tag in recent times!

13. What do you think of this quiz?
      Shanu ensured that the only thought that came 2 my mind is FEAR by repeatedly threatening me 2 complete the tag within the deadline!

14. What is the last film you saw?
      The Proposal (a one-watch movie at best)

15. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
      Shanu...n force her 2 write 4 my :D:D:D

16. Tell me something about you that I dunno!
      My favourite words are “nirvana” n “nostalgia” :)

17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? –
      I would ensure that every single person on the planet sends 10% of his/her pay to the Blunt Edges Trust (BET) :D

18. Do you like to Dance?
      I suck at it but yeah I do like it!

19. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

20. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

21. Would you ever consider living abroad?
      I might.

22. What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Finally I can retire to the countryside, now that u r here to take over! :D:D:D

N there I’m done! :D

I have never tagged anyone before...but I think I’ll tag 3 people who have tagged me at some point or the perplexed, Lakshmi and Jyoti, consider urself tagged :D:D:D

Updated: I also tag Madhu...whom I have just educated about tags in the comments section :D
may this be the 1st of many more tags 2 come 4 this 1st timer ;)

Updated again: I guess its just a season of pointing guns at me! Reflections has done the same thing n has ordered (yup, u heard it right!) me to tag her ASAP! N me being the innocent little kid can only comply ***innocent look*** 
So, I hereby tag Reflections too. Enjoy the tag woman! :D