Saturday, September 3, 2011

The Transporter

He looked at his watch. He knew how much time he had. But it wasn’t entirely in his hands. “They” had to do it. He was just the transporter. He liked calling himself the transporter. True he wasn’t half as cool as Jason Statham, though he knew for sure that he had lot more hair than Statham could ever dream of. Well apparently they have these new hair transplantation thingies where you can grow your mane again. If Statham went for that, he would edge out this transporter in the only area where he was superior.

He looked at his watch again. Damn! It was almost time. What on earth were they doing? But he didn’t have the power or the authority to ask them anything. He was just the transporter. He got the package and was told the drop point. And he, well transported.

Another glance at the watch. Another sigh of exasperation. Are these people competing with a snail, he wondered. The recipients wouldn’t care whose fault it was. He can take the yelling, but what if they refuse to make the payment. The higher-up bosses will certainly catch his throat. No one would care enough to find out that he had got the package late!

Before he could sneak another look at the watch, they handed him the package. He rushed out. He had very little time left. He kick started his bike and raced away. There was a fair amount of traffic on the road. He expertly whizzed past it all. He knew he was riding faster than he normally is comfortable doing, but desperate times call for over-speeding. He chuckled at the quote he had come up with. “Desperate times call for over-speeding” was cool. Wonder if Statham could ever come up with something like that.

He realized he was almost there, as he looked at his watch. He took the last turn before his destination. Maybe he would make it just in the nick of time. That was the last thought that crossed his mind as he rammed into a parked van. He had taken his hand off the handle and his sight off the road to see the time, as he turned the corner, and had not seen the van parked there.

Less than 200 meters away, I looked at my watch. “Ok this is a first. It should have been here by now”, I thought. I picked up the phone, called them up, yelled, and within half an hour, was munching on my free pizza.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Who The @^*% Is Blunt Edges?

Recently I got a mail from someone who I presume had been at my blog, which read:

"Dear Blunt Edges,

Who the @^*% are you?


It was said in good humour, or wasn’t it?!?! We exchanged a couple of mails, and then I thought why not answer X here instead.

I’m a terrible blogger who surfaces once in a blue moon, and is unapologetic about it.

I’m not your guy next door, unless of course you’re actually my neighbour.

I’m the younger brother, who was jealous of his “better looking, better at sports, better at studies” elder brother his entire school life.

I’m the cricket fanatic who screamed his lungs out when India won the world cup.

I’m the guy who knows it’s not gonna be happily ever after with the love of his life, and has made his peace with it.

I’m the optimist who lives in the hope that the 2012 prophecy would be true.

I’m the guy who knows he’s definitely gonna get a dog one day and call it Kibber.

I’m the biker who gets pissed when someone calls his Avenger an Enticer, but beams when some kid in a rick at the signal points at it and shouts “Terminator ka bike”.

I’m the lazy ass who can hit the bed at midnight, sleep till 2 in the afternoon, and then start yawning around 4 in the evening.

I’m the IT guy who does zero exercise, even though he’s worried about the extra pounds he’s putting on.

I’m the sms addict who rarely sends out a text these days, coz his chat-friend isn’t in town anymore.

I’m the movie buff who still gets goose bumps when he’s watching Pulp Fiction.

I’m the reason Dominoes brought back the cheese burst pizza (or so I’d like to believe).

I’m the aspiring writer, who dreams of getting a call one day from some publisher asking him to write a book or some newspaper/magazine offering him a column (and a kick-ass pay of course!)

I’m the TV magnet who cringes at the sight of “reality shows”.

I’m the guy who was always approached by his friends in school to write love letters for their girls.

I’m the blogger who never finds the time or drive to blog, but suddenly gets tempted to do it, when something far more important demands attention.

I’m the guy who skips breakfast on most mornings for lack of company.

I’m also the guy who more than compensates for it during lunch and dinner.

I’m the bored reader who thinks I have just penned a load of crap.

I’m the employee who spends his week counting down to the weekend.

I’m the reason my Dad’s car has a major scratch on the rear left.

I’m the weirdo who hasn’t yet watched LOTR and Twilight for the simple reason that it didn’t appeal to him, and also the one who watched Avatar and Inception coz of all the hype and was bored within the first 30minutes.

In the words of the stupid common man, “Bheed toh dekhi hogi na aapne? Usme se koi ek shakal chun lijiye, main woh hu” ;)

I dunno if X would prefer this, or would just rather be content with my name and a link to my FB profile. Trust me buddy, you would never have got to know this much about me there.

PS: I’m also the blogger who hates seeing “0 comments” under his post! ;)