Dis is a telephonic conversation I had wid my mom sometime late last year wen my big bro (BigB) had come down 2 India
Me: heyllloo! Mom: hello…who’s dat? (yeah she does it every time we talk…even wen she calls!) Me: its ur son Mom: sigh…no one new calls me Me: yeah…I hv given ur number 2 james bond…he’s busy dis week…told me he’ll call u next week Mom: very phunny Me: he he Mom: so wats new? Me: na…nothing…returnin home from work…I hope I get a project in electronic city soon…d food here sucks Mom: I asked “wats new?” din ask u 2 repeat d same thing dat I hv been hearin from d day u got a project in madiwala…don’t u IT ppl get d meanin of “wats new?” Me: ahem…now who’s tryin 2 be phunny Mom: teri maa! Me: he he….dats more like it…so wats hapng at home? Wats BigB upto? Mom: he has gone out wid frenz…ha btw something new did happen today! Me: wat? Mom: I got a call in d mrng Me: james bond? Mom: SHUT UP! Me: lol Mom: it was someone from my hometown Me: who? Mom: it’s a family dat we knw…though I dunno dis guy personally Me: ok…so wat was it abt? Mom: he took half an hr 2 give an intro abt himself…n reflected sadly on how our families hv lost touch Me: tch tch Mom(ignorin my false sarcasm completely): he was telling me how someone told him dat BigB was in d UK Me: he called 2 say dat??? Mom: WHY CANT U HEAR D WHOLE THING FIRST? Me: ok ok…carry on Mom: so he said dat he knows abt BigB n he has a daughter Me: hohoho Mom: wat r u? santa? Me: na…a project engineer…lol Mom: yeah d one who rarely has a project…rite? Me: grrrr!!! Mom: lol…n u thot only u can be smart ha? Whr do u think u get ur funny genes from? Me: from outer space! So u were sayin? Mom: he he…yup his daughter is a software engineer in blore…n before I cud say anything, he went on abt how much dowry dey wud give n abt d flat dey wud book in BigB’s name Me: whoaaaaaa…now we talking!!! Mom: I tried interruptin him but dat guy just kept on talking…so I just kept quiet till he was done Me: so how much moolah do we get? ***snigger*** Mom: ha ha ha…anyways wen he was done, I told him dat BigB isn’t exactly planning 2 marry now…n he asked BigB’s age n apparently his daughter is elder Me: sigh…n 2 think all dat money wil find its way into some other family Mom: wait…it doesn’t get over dere! Me: den? Mom: den he asked me “u hv one more son rite?” Me: whoa whoa whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Mom: he asked me wat u r doin? N I told him whr u work n all Me: m sure he must be impressed…buhahaha (my false pride-filled laugh) Mom: yup a lot…he said he has one more daughter n she’ll finish her engineerin next yr Me: arre wah…any chances of getting her snap??? Mom: NO! Me: her number? Mom: NO! Me: her mail id? Mom: NO! Me: ok…r u gonna say anything other dan “no”? Mom: NO! Me: cool…wats her name? M sure u atleast asked dat…din u? Mom: NO! Me: I m so gonna be single all my life!!! ***dramatic sigh*** Mom: u found dat out now? Ha ha ha Me: DATS IT…I’M HANGIN UP…got work! Mom: wat work? I thot u were returnin from work?!?!?! Me: gotta find myself a gal…obviously u aint gonna help…rite? Mom: lol…best of luck bachha Me: THANX! Well thinking of it…I sure do need a lot of luck 4 dat…hmmm ta ta Mom: buh-bye
Mom(thinking): aaj kal ke bachhe! Me(thinking): aaj kal ke moms!
A couple of my readers (I like d sound of dat: “my readers” :D) read my prev post, A Police Story, n reminded me of another incident dat hapnd wen I was in coll…one dat changed d life of someone drastically…so eventhough these 2 readers (ahh…heaven) were lazy enuf 2 not comment on d post (yeah I aint eggjhactly d laziest person around ;)), I still wanna thank dem 4 givin me d idea 4 a post…
I, d bluntest of all edges, hereby thank M n P (in alphabetical order) 4 bringin d legend of jhumbalaka jhum (ok I shud hv shouted it out: D LEGEND OF JHUMBALAKA JHUM…dats more like it) 2 life ***drum rolls***
Cast: Me (duh! M d hero obviously), SG (aka Smart Guy), Idiot, Ro
I was in d final yr of my coll…we had moved into a house dat was literally just a stone throwaway frm d almighty institution (4 reasons dat r still alien 2 mankind coz we rarely attended coll)
D day in qsn was a typical weekday wen we had bunked coll n were just whilin away our time tryin 2 figure out who among us can surf thru all d channels of d tv d fastest (u shud try it out sometime…its productive n gives an insight into ur deeper dormant personality)
Suddenly, idiot, who was sent 2 d kitchen 2 get food, came out runnin n luked as if he had just seen a ghost
Idiot: ders a mouse in d kitchen! SG: r u sure it’s a mouse? It cud be a rat Ro: wats d difference? SG: well ders gotta be something…otherwise why wud dey hv 2 names? Me (who was busy swappin channels): YES…beat dis…I clocked 42secs!!! (lukin at idiot) whr’s d food? Idiot: HOLY CRAP…m I livin wid a bunch of fools or wat? Ders a rat slash mouse (he meant rat/mouse) in d kitchen n it ran into d store room wen I walked in dere…its huge!!! Me: ohhhh…so why din u get d food? Idiot: %&#*&$@!&$# (god bless my relatives)
So all of us reluctantly went n checked out d scene of crime…d store room, which was perpetually closed, did hv a hole on its door…after our brief (very very brief) investigation, we concluded dat d next time d rat (or mouse or rodent or wateva) decides 2 visit, he’ll regret it…SG was abt 2 start a debate on whether it was a he or she…but Ro’s timely punch 2 his ribs saved us d trouble
Later in d evng, wen idiot wasn’t at home, Ro came to d hall whr we were sittin around a chess board (watchin tv of course) n said dat d rat has entered our premises again…ideally we wud hv put on our commando suits, topped it wid a bandana, painted black streaks on our faces n blown up d rat wid our bazookas…but due 2 an acute shortage of resources (namely d commando suits, bandanas, paint n bazookas), we decided on d more traditional slam-bang approach
I volunteered 2 go 2 d back door n close it so dat d rat doesn’t run off 2 d store room…n SG n Ro were supposed 2 pick up something 2 hit it wid n tiptoe in frm d front door of d kitchen…I got a log on my way dere n got in n locked d door
SG n Ro came in together…SG had d cover of a tubelight in his hand…n Ro was holdin his biotech notes rolled up! Wid d kinda weapons of mass destruction dat these dudes were carryin, it was clear who had 2 strike
D rat was under d dinin table (yup d dinin table was in d kitchen smarty)…SG climbed on top of d table wid his deadly tubelight cover n offered 2 poke d rat out (yeah I knw he’s a pervert!)…Ro climbed on d platform n made a mic out of his paper roll n started givin live commentary of wat was hapng…I was standin wid d log raised n waitin 4 d target 2 come out
SG kept on poking it…n well after a certain point even a tubelight cover can be irriatatin…d rat dashed out…Ro yelled into his “mic” at wat degree d rat had run…I n SG exchanged glances n nodded: Ro is our next target
I saw d rat n boy was it huge…so more easy 2 hit…action time baby!!! :D Slam-miss Slam-hit Slam-hit Slam-hit
I got 3 hits out of 4…not bad 4 a 1st timer…d poor creature was lyin lifeless on d floor…we ensured its dead by poking it (SG again)…n wen we were sure its dead…we 3 gathered around it n started dancing n chantin: “JHUMBALAKA JHUM JHUMBALAKA JHUM JHUMBALAKA JHUM JHUM JHUM JHUM!!!”
I mentioned in d beginning dat dis incident changed someone’s life…dat someone (in case u hvnt guessed it by now) was d rat ;) (u chose d wrong house buddy)
So dats how dis urban legend began…n 2 dis day d elderly couple in d neighborin house hv no clue how a dead rat ended up on their terrace!!!
Hi. I'm a simple guy. Maybe a bit confused, a bit crazy, a bit dreamy, a bit smart, a bit foolish, a bit confident, a bit nervous, a bit humorous, a bit irritating, but yeah like I said before, I'm a simple guy.