Saturday, September 3, 2011

The Transporter

He looked at his watch. He knew how much time he had. But it wasn’t entirely in his hands. “They” had to do it. He was just the transporter. He liked calling himself the transporter. True he wasn’t half as cool as Jason Statham, though he knew for sure that he had lot more hair than Statham could ever dream of. Well apparently they have these new hair transplantation thingies where you can grow your mane again. If Statham went for that, he would edge out this transporter in the only area where he was superior.

He looked at his watch again. Damn! It was almost time. What on earth were they doing? But he didn’t have the power or the authority to ask them anything. He was just the transporter. He got the package and was told the drop point. And he, well transported.

Another glance at the watch. Another sigh of exasperation. Are these people competing with a snail, he wondered. The recipients wouldn’t care whose fault it was. He can take the yelling, but what if they refuse to make the payment. The higher-up bosses will certainly catch his throat. No one would care enough to find out that he had got the package late!

Before he could sneak another look at the watch, they handed him the package. He rushed out. He had very little time left. He kick started his bike and raced away. There was a fair amount of traffic on the road. He expertly whizzed past it all. He knew he was riding faster than he normally is comfortable doing, but desperate times call for over-speeding. He chuckled at the quote he had come up with. “Desperate times call for over-speeding” was cool. Wonder if Statham could ever come up with something like that.

He realized he was almost there, as he looked at his watch. He took the last turn before his destination. Maybe he would make it just in the nick of time. That was the last thought that crossed his mind as he rammed into a parked van. He had taken his hand off the handle and his sight off the road to see the time, as he turned the corner, and had not seen the van parked there.

Less than 200 meters away, I looked at my watch. “Ok this is a first. It should have been here by now”, I thought. I picked up the phone, called them up, yelled, and within half an hour, was munching on my free pizza.


suruchi said...

oh god-someone's actually writing again n crap i have a class to take as I speak to prevent me to read...but lemme do some cho-cha here to be the first to comment, followed by my yippie dance, only a wee bit before students start running for shelter...and come back to this later...

but really, yiy yiy yiy:-)

suruchi said...

oh..yeh to sad sad hain:(
But very gripping n unexpected!
my god, you can even narrate stories n how:-)
*goes back to my looking at you with awe-filled eyes waala mode*


Shanu said...

Is it weird that the moment I read the word transporter I knew u were talking about a pizza delivery guy??

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

hahahaha I somehow figured out it had to do with the pizza, but too late. Second last para.

Interesting narrative. Maybe next time the transporter should try to have a digital watch installed on the dashboard itself :)

Nice read.

Blasphemous Aesthete

The Survivor said...

The good thing is you got a free pizza :)

Good to see you back.

Chandrika Shubham said...

Eating free pizza alone, not fair! Must be shared with the readers. :p

moonlite:D said...

damn!! i'm late!! :(

ur love for pizzas are very-well-known..
but, taking advantage of the situation!!! *tch tch*

bliss said...

finally a post and that too a pretty nice one at that!!! poor pizza guy but couldn't agree more ' desperate times call for over speeding'!!! know it a bit too well :P :P :P
happy munching blunty! :D

Adam said...

hehe.. Yep, pizza as predicted.. ;)
Glad to have you writing again Blunt bhai :)

Sony said...

Glad to see you writing.. Nice one

NIM said...

Pizza? :/
Disappointing! :P
Gripping read though :D

Grayquill said...

This is horrible - a sorry soul bit the Blunt Edge of a van all in an effort to beat the Domino's challenge. If the Edges weren't crunchy than I suppose your transporter kind of deserved his brush with death, pizza crust without the crunch should be a crime but the punishment shouldn't be capital punishment...he did live didn't he? One last question - was the pizza free?

Anita :) said...

This is too much Blunt. I never expected this from you. These pizza delivery guys ride their bikes at cut throat speed risking their lives for delivering pizzas on time..and the free pizzas u munch u know the management cuts it out from their pay ?

Nikita Banerjee said...

Aha...interesting read!

Grayquill said...

It's been three days - you're not commenting? DId I come to late? or is this punishment :) Oh I get it...You're folling my lead...I guess I should be flattered :-))

BrAiN FrEEzE said...

OH my god!! Whr have u been??? Only possible answer could be that Blunt Edges is in LOVE (in same style as Abhay Deol tells Hrithik that he's in love in ZNMD) !!! :) :) n u'll be forgiven mister for only this reason cos nothing else is up for even a discussion ... hmpfff!!

Gripping post i must say .... Neva thot it would be our very own delivery wala *bhaiyya* u r talking about... ;) ;)

Beauty and the BEast said...

LOL!! almost tempts me to keep a van parked around a blind corner for free pizzas!!!

Made me usual!!

blunt edges said...

@ suruchi
Ok the reply is way too delayed, but thanks for posting a comment even before reading the post :D (I hope the students weren't too scandalized by the dance :P)
Well it's not that sad considering I got a free pizza out of the deal ;)
And me likes the awe-filled waala eyes :D

@ Shanu
It's like one mind! Not at all weird ;)

@ Blasphemous Aesthete
I guess it was a giveaway. I didn't camouflage it that well, did I? :)
Yeah a digital watch would have averted the crash, but I would have lost out on the free pizza ;)
Thanks buddy :)

@ The Survivor
Of course that's the good thing! :D
Great to be back, but considering my track record, I wouldn't bet on my being around for long! ;)

@ Chandrika
You are most welcome buddy, though I can't promise more than a slice ;)

@ moonlite
I'm Blunt. I'm disgusting. I do anything for free pizzas ;)
It's never late at Blunt Edges :D

@ bliss
Thanks a lot :D
And desperate times do indeed call for over-speeding. That was from my experience as well :)

@ Adam
It's nice to know that people know me well enough to guess the pizza thing :D

@ Sony
Thanks a lot :D

Ouch! That hurt. Will try to come up with something better next time :)

blunt edges said...

@ Grayquill
Well actually my pizza crust ain't all that crunchy. It is cheese filled. Domino's has something called the cheese-burst. After gobbling that, normal crusts don't seem fine anymore :D
Yes he lived. It was just a minor accident, a couple of scratches here and there.
And yeah the pizza was free :D
LOL!! No no the late reply wasn't intentional. All the comment alerts were going to my spam folder and I don't regularly check blogger. But yeah you can be flattered :)

@ Anita
OMG! Not even a single smiley there! You were actually serious!
Ok the account is of course a bit exaggerated. The pizza place is less than 5 minutes away from my place on a bike, and it has just one turn and zero traffic signals. And my order was placed at around 10 in the night, which effectively means minimal vehicular traffic.
Here is what happened. I placed an order. After 40 minutes, I called up and complained that I didn't get the pizza. They apologozed and said it would be at my place in less than 5 minutes. I said ok. 20 minutes passed and I still didn't get my delivery. So about an hour after originally placing my order, that would be close to 11 at night, I called them up again and before I could say anything they said it would be another 10 minutes and the pizza would be free. I said ok. When I finally got the pizza, I asked the delivery guy what had happened. He told me that the guy who was supposed to deliver had an accident. He was ok, just a couple of scratches. But obviously they had to get a new pizza, and that's why the delay.
Even I had read somewhere that the delivery guys have to shell out the cost if they deliver late. But the Domino's menu says: "Domino's does not penalize its drivers for late delivery." So I wouldn't know how it actually works.
And irrespective of whether the delivery guys are penalized or not, at more than 300 bucks per pizza, is it too terrible on my part to expect them to be delivered to me within the time frame mentioned by the company itself?
Anyhow since you think it wasn't right on my part, I'm sorry. I wouldn't want you to think I'm a bad guy :)

@ Nikita
Thank you :)

@ BrAiN FrEEzE
Hahaha! Abhay does a good job with that love thing there, doesn't he? And I have been around, though not in love (sadly!) ;)
And look who's talking! When was the last time you surfaced lady? :P
And your comment makes me wonder, why doesn't Domino's have pizza delivery girls ;)

@ Beauty
Do let me know how it goes, if you do try it ;)
And glad you smiled :D

Rain Girl said...

:( I want to write a reallyy long comment ... gimme some time... :P

♫♪♥PhilO♥♪♫ said...

You have any idea how good it felt to read something from you, after so long?? :)
Parcel me some pizza :) I'm hungry!

I've lost your number! Mail it to me :)
Take care!

☆ Rià ღ said...

I realised it pretty late that it was the pizza guy!! :P I remember the times i have got free pizza from dominos for late delivery.

Vyadhi said...

For some strange reason, I find this post different... I mean as if written by a different person.. The post misses ur touch of humor i guess.. But still, it is a nice one as usual.. :)

P.S. I have read all ur posts.. But this is the first time I am commenting!

blunt edges said...

@ Rain Girl
And I'm still waiting :)

@ Juhi (Am not able to decipher what the display name is!)
Glad someone liked the fact that I posted something :)
The pizza is on the way, and so is the number. You take care too kiddo! :)

@ Ria
Free pizzas taste lot better, don't they? ;)

@ Vyadahi
Haha! Yeah the humor has faded over time :)
Great to hear from someone who has read all the posts :D

BrAiN FrEEzE said...

ohhh !! Pizza would gain so much more importance (especially for guys) ... n then pizza will no more b a question (Pizza??) it'll be more of an answer ... :P

Ya I have not written since a longggg time ... n i have no clue y!! :( but tht does not mean u follow suit ... :P

N wish i cud say something but this being tooooo public a platform ... i shall seal my lips ... ;) ;) (n thr was a compliment *hint*) :P

BrAiN FrEEzE said...

And you know watttt!!! i just thot ... If there were pizza delivery girls smehw u guys wud neva call her "Pizza delivery wali didi"!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahha !!!! LMAO !!! random ... i knwww.... forgive me u must ... *Blinky eyes* followed by *unstoppable laugh* ....

blunt edges said...

Pizza has never been a question for me. The only question that does surface is "Garlic bread?" :D

Well you haven't written for like ever, so you don't get a voice here :P

And you could say all this yaha waha ki baatein, but held back at the compliment wala bit?!?! Not fair! *makes grumpy face*

Yeah I would never call the pizza delivery girls didi, but then I neither call the guys bhaiyya :P

PS: The blinky eyes look cute alright ;)

BrAiN FrEEzE said...

well i call them bhaiyya ... But i have sweet-talked them sooo many times just so they would deliver early (n it works ;))

i dint knw ppl wait for smething tht i have written ... makes my hand itch-to-write bt lazy-me takes over the second after (ufffff)

Compliment wala bit was held bak cos *blinky-eyed-me* is toooo shy to let the PUBLIC read wts in her heart .... ufff ufff ufff (poetic-me) ....

N looks cute it does!!!! :D :D (Refer above: shy-face)

PS: Girls shud let the delivery b done by the "bhaiyyas" for now ... only problem is WHERE ARE THE CUTE BOYS?????????????????

Anonymous said...

I'm really glad that you've created your own blog and have factually publish your thoughts. I love your work and feel I can refer to what you've done. Lots of people can't even imagine having such talent. I hope that you know how lucky you are. :) Good luck to you in all your aims. :)

blunt edges said...

How does the sweet talking thing and the bhaiyya calling work together? :P

And laziness trumps everything else, so we do have something in common ;)

And the cute and shy blinky eyes are really getting the non-cute, non-shy and zero-blinking Blunt all curious! This is torture! :P

PS: You really weren't expecting an answer for the "Where are the cute guys" bit, were you? :P

Zeba said...

How did I miss this one? Sigh. And you got the free pizza. So I guess this makes it a happy ending walla story. :-)

BrAiN FrEEzE said...

Check your mail ... (of course the blunt edges ID) :) :)

Reflections said...

I landed me to poke u into writing ur next post & then realised I hadnt commented on this;-o.

How did I miss...I remember reading a month or so back so clearly but yeah cant quite recall commenting;-P

p.s: Baap re Anita really tore into u huh;-D

Cna said...

I am a newcomer here. Very nice post. Interesting perspective. Was good fun to read. :)

Sumi Mathai said...

hahahahha u got a free pizza? watever happnd to the pizza guy :(

Sanmegh said...

hilarious ending! it was a great read...thanks :D

V. Archana said...

nice one, story teller. :) sure thing,u write pretty good than the earlier posts i hv read of urs.

heya, im finally back to the regular blogging after a real loooong vacation :)

Mani Lalwani said...

Loved the story.. The way you expressed it and the ending....

enjoy the free pizza and the (mis)adventures ;)

buckingfastard said...

single girl in my seat seat on train and free pizza...i get neither of those two fantastical experiences....why god why!!!

Pooja... said...

It took me ages to realize you are back to the blog after the one post that made me kind of ur mini-fan...never knew one can cook such stories, all for one free pizza!!

Interesting read as always, and yeah it's supposed to b tragic but still, I kind of had a smile...

And call me a sucker for reading, I kind of read your comments on the post as here is wishing that Dominoes start having pizza delivery gals next year around :)

Rohit Singh Jain said...

Nice post...sorry couldn't get blunt enough to save my life.

blunt edges said...

@ Zeba
Yes I did! And happily end it sure did! :D

@ Reflections
Laziness rules. It's almost getting to the one post a year bit ;)
And yes Anita was in her elements :)

@ Cna
Thank you Cna :)

@ Sumi
Yup got a free pizza. And the guy was ok, just a few scratches :)

@ Sanmegh
Glad you liked it! Thank you :)

@ Archana
Isn't it a pity that you became regular at blogging around the same time I disappeared from it? :)
Thanks for the nice words though :)

@ Mani Lalwani
Thank you buddy :)

@ buckingfastard
There are more chances of the free pizza than the single girl thing! :D

@ Pooja
Hahaha! You really read all the comments too? How vella are you? :P
Really glad it put a smile on your face and thanks a lot for the nice words :D
And pizza delivery girls zindabad! :D

@ Rohit Singh Jain
Thanks a lot :)