Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Time Travel


A promo of a recent movie screamed out “If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?” (Oh come on MS Word “would it” sounds more correct than “it would”!)

This got me thinking. What would I wanna change if I were to travel back in time? And then it struck me!

*Rewind to the time when Blunt was somewhere in the 3rd or 4th grade*
Li’l Blunt was playing cricket at the base of his building. Now there’s something you need to know about Li’l Blunt. Like majority of the children, who played cricket in India, he too hated fielding. Hand him a bat or a ball, and he’s the happiest guy around, but ask him to field and he gets all grumpy.

So there he stood all sulking and grumpy, when the batter hit a shot past him and he was expected to chase the ball, which of course had crossed the boundary line, but still had to be retrieved nevertheless.

“BLUNT!” The bowler had yelled the moment the ball was hit. Like every other bowler to have ever played the game, this one too didn’t like it when he was hit for runs and inadvertently found fault with the fielder or the pitch or the weather conditions or luck or the quality of the ball or …(you get the drift right?)
Bottom line: It’s never the bowler’s fault!

“Not again!” Li’l Blunt muttered under his breath as he ran behind the ball. And then he saw it. The ball had hit the door of a cab parked there. The cabbie was washing his vehicle and looked pissed. Now you must realize that kids of this age, playing near their buildings used to play with rubber balls, the kind that didn’t cause much harm when it hit a cab.

The cabbie had picked up the ball and was staring at Li’l Blunt, anger venting out profusely from his eyes.

“Sorry” Li’l Blunt said meekly as he reached near the cab.

Cabbie: “Why did you hit the ball on my cab?”

Li’l Blunt: “My friend hit it here. I’m just fielding.”

Cabbie: “Don’t give me answers, when I’m talking!”

Li’l Blunt: “But you just asked me a question.”

Cabbie: “Shut up!”

Li’l Blunt: “I’m sorry. Can I have the ball back?”

Cabbie: “It’s not your father’s cab, that you can just come, hit it and go!”

Li’l Blunt: “Why you dragging family into all this? I said I’m sorry!”

*Whack*

The cabbie slapped Li’l Blunt right across his tiny face.

Li’l Blunt (holding back his tears): “Why did you hit me? I wasn’t the one batting, I just came to fetch…” (His voice broke away as tears started finding their way out of his eyes)

Li’l Blunt’s friends had by then gathered around him and were pacifying him.
“It’s ok buddy. Let him keep the ball. We’ll go back” They said.

“BUT WHY DID HE HAVE TO SLAP ME?” Li’l Blunt yelled over his tears and looked at the cabbie with all the anger his little eyes could conjure up.

“DON’T YOU DARE STARE AT ME!” That was the last thing Li’l Blunt heard before another *Whack* sound blared into his ear. The cabbie had slapped him again. And Li’l Blunt was crying non-stop. His friends dragged him away as he howled uncontrollably.

“I’ll go right away and tell my Dad about this and he’ll come kick the cabbie’s ass” Li’l Blunt told his friends when they were at a safe distance from the cab and the monster who drove it.

“No no. It will just create more problems. Let it be Blunt. It’s alright. You’ll be fine.” They said.

And Li’l Blunt just kept crying.

*End of Flashback*

And for some reason, this incident stayed with me all these years. And if I could go back in time and change it, I might have wanted the ball to break the windshield of the cab, or ram into his nuts, or maybe both.

PS: Haven’t been around that much and don’t even have an excuse for the same. Just plain old laziness and boredom creeping in. And I know this ain’t the kind of stuff I normally write, but it’s been 5 months since I last posted, so obviously I would be a li’l rusty :)

55 comments:

Anita :) said...

But Blunt is always the best blogger around.He cant get rusty.

Poor Blunt.The incident surely hurt little Blunt, that he remembers it to this day. Its okay, Blunt. I'm sure after writing this, you must be feeling better !
And so are we, after seeing an update from u !

Anita :) said...

I am the first 2 comment ! YAY!

HaRy!! said...

well that was a blunt incident... but at least I could imagine the slap :)... instead of going back to break his windshield... yu might consider wat yu'll do now if yu see the cabbie in person:)?

Nona said...

That sure is a traumatic experience! Being shouted at is one thing and being beaten up is another!

Kanishk said...

How could you let him get away with it???
go back in time and kick some ass and break some glasses!!

suruchi said...

awwwww....a big hug for Li'l Blunt:-)

when things we don't understand in our scope of reasoning they remain etched somewhere in our mind...look at it this way...the guy probably got slapped by his wife that day n couldn't do a damn about it n u just came in his way unfortunately...:(

so let it n him go...
n welcome back..great to have u around...kindly give a kick in the butt to the lazy arse if it gets u in hiding again:-)

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

I wish li'l blunt had a baseball bat or the tool the Indian brawlers use, the hockey. Maybe if you could go back and change things, perhaps, you had plans nevertheless.

Cheers, and happy new year.

Blasphemous Aesthete

Chandrika Shubham said...

Welcome back.:)

Oho! Hurting it must be! GO back in time and change it the way u like.

Happy New Year!

S said...

*phattttak*
us tamache ki aawaz ab tak tere kaano mein goonj rahi hogi..
na blunt?

:P

All my sympathies n pity for you :)

sakhii•• said...

aww....that was cute :D
i mean you sound cute :P
long time btw!

Shanu said...

Oh no..woh cabbie ki yea himmat..mere blutu ko mara..take me with u in the timemachine jaanu...ill kick the cab wala..im a black belt in karate :)

Shanu said...

Frgt to tick the follow up comment box :)

NIM said...

Awww...You know i felt really bad for li'l blunt while reading this post...
And the ball really should have broken some part of his cab.
However, it's good to have you back blogging :)

Harini said...

welcome back after such a long time. I might have wanted to go back there and wish the same too :P

Grayquill said...

I haven’t even read what happened and I know mostly what was the cause of whatever I am about to read you playing cricket. What kind of a game is that anyway?......
Gee Wilikers!!!...adults can get away with that kind of behavoir in India? Hitting someones kid? That is just wrong! You remembered it because that is not suppose to happen.

blunt edges said...

@ Anita
Honored at the "best blogger" remark :D
Actually not feeling better or worse, started writing thinking I'll come up with something humorous out of the incident, but halfway into the post, I realized it wasn't funny on any level! :|
Glad to be back and yay you first! :D

@ HaRy
Well he dare not pop up in front of me today *flexes muscles* ;)

@ Nona
Traumatic! That's the word!

@ Kanishk
I was a kid buddy, couldn't do much! Now where did we leave the time machine? ;)

@ suruchi
First of all thanks for the hug :D
I sure as hell hope your idea of the backstory is true, atleast the thought is comforting that he too got slapped :)
You know how I fleet in and out of the blogosphere, so don't be surprised if the arse gets lazy again ;)

@ Blasphemous Aesthete
Incidentally I think a baseball bat is the best and most easy-on-the-hand weapon to strike someone! Pity I didn't have one that day :)
Thanks a lot and you have a great new year too :D

blunt edges said...

@ Chandrika
Thanks a lot :)
And hurt it sure did :|

@ S
LOL!! You say all that and follow it up with a sympathy-wala line :P

@ sakhii
Cute??? Did you say cute??? A kid was slapped and you think it's cute??? :P
Long time indeed. As I said just lazy :)

@ Shanu
Black belt? Alle wah! Am a purple belt btw :D
Khoob jamega rang jab mil baithenge 3 yaar, aap, main or woh sadu cab-wala ;)
And of course you forgot to tick the box :P

@ NIM
Am sure Li'l Blunt would have been glad to know you felt bad for him :)
Great to be back and see people still remember me :D

@ Harini
Thanks a lot buddy :)
Join the cabbie-bashing club ;)

@ Grayquill
To answer your query on what kinda game cricket is, my reply would be: it's the only game we play! ;)
And trust me you can get away with anything in India!
And what do you mean "Hitting someones kid"? Don't tell me you advocate parents bashing up their children!
And seeing the "Gee Wilikers" expression after a long time :D

$$ said...

In spite of hating of bat, bowl and field, I was forced to stand in one corner of the courtyard of our house to fetch the ball - forcefully by my elder, masculine cousins!!!

Anyways, glad to have you back!

Have a great new year! :)

NIM said...

Obviously people still remember you! They all get a quick update when you have a new post :P jk jk. you're post are pretty memorable :P

Alka Gurha said...

If your blunt edges are so sharp, then I wonder what a sharpened one would would be....I am new on ur blog. You do have a way with words....And I love and miss Blore. Lucky u.

Sangeeta said...

Awwwww poor li'l blunt :(

Keep writing .. dont let laziness creep in agn :P

BrAiN FrEEzE said...

Welcome back ...

wat an emotional note... the crying bit was soooooo sympethetic.. and then u get the *blunt touch* read: "break the windshield of the cab, or ram into his nuts, or maybe both" :D :D :D

its good to see u bak.. i smiled as soon as i knew u had posted smething.. its not rusty .. :)

Kepp posting in 2011 !! :D Happy new year!

Anonymous said...

blunt bunny your profile pic is soooooo damn cute :D :D

blunt edges said...

@ $$
Hahaha...Well what else is the point of having younger female cousins ;)
Thanks and you have a great new year too :)

@ NIM
LOL! Now I know how people are forced into reading my posts :P

@ Alka
For a moment, I was wondering how you got my B'lore connection from this post, but then realized my profile shouts its out! :)
Thanks and welcome to Blunt Edges, where the edges are never sharpened ;)

@ Sangeeta
Poor li'l Blunt says thanks :)
And can't guarantee the laziness bit ;)

@ Brain Freeze
Well the windshield breaking and nut ramming is the least I could offer him ;)
Glad to know you didn't find it rusty :)
Wish you an awesome 2011 too buddy :D

@ Anon
Hahaha...Well I have Bill Watterson to thank for that ;)

Madhu said...

hey....this is not ur usual.But that is fine..:) :) :) I liked it..probably that incedent teach u something.Or it did not?? :P :D

Come back man..we [i] miss u.

happy new year..

moonlite:D said...

1. You are right back when I was thinking that you retired from bloggersville :D :P, Happy to see the post
2. Just not the funny blunt, we happily read about the very cutie blunty.
3. Pls go back in the time machine and whack him the way you wish to :)
4. and I was abt to write my exp playing cric, as most often I was a wicket keeper (worser than the fielding, while playing gully cric), you came up with this post,, where do I go now for a topic?? eh!!

Welcome back :)

Beauty and the BEast said...

ouch! I hate it when unpleasant memories attack unannounced! And what a moron of a cabbie! Wish one could file a FIR for past assaults!!

Milne do kabhie use .... :X :X

P.S :that was a heartwarming comment you left behind. Thanks a tonne! :)

The Survivor said...

Hota Hain :), somethings are better forgotten.

Lakshmi said...

Awwww..... Poor Li'l You... My heartfelt sympathies... Don we all have such moments... when we wish we d shown more courage...
Btb, Happy new year... Find time to blog Blunt... :)

bliss said...

good to have you back, blunty!!!!!!!!!
well dont we all have such moments. i remember one when i was a little girl and i told on a girl playing hide and seek with her friend. she got so angry at me that she smacked me. i learnt a very important lesson that day- never tell on anyone playing hide and seek or at least make sure they are not considerably larger than you :P

i am sure that incident made you stronger, someway somewhere and even if did not, dont sweat. it made for a cute little post.
goood to have you back :)

its me said...

hi blunt...such cute reminiscence...i guess it must be bringing smile on your face...

Nikita Banerjee said...

That cabbie slapped you and you didn't do anything about it? Even your friends did not protest? Bah. I would called my grandpa and that would have been the end of that cabbie! Windshield toh thodna hee chahiye tha...

Happy New Year.

Fantasies of a Lifetime said...

yup not too late ! do u remember the registeration number :P , go break the windshield now :P

Adam said...

wah.. that's it? i thought you'd take badla... Bluntu ka badla!! :D
Kidding..
and rusty?? Like anita said, Blunt's the best! The Chandler Bing of Bloggers!! (Post more frequently though.. :) )

blunt edges said...

@ Madhu
What could it have possibly thought me?
Awww...that's sweet of u :)
I'll be around :D

@ Moonlite
1. By now u should have realized that I keep on disappearing from time to time ;)
2. Blunt is happy that u thought he was cute :D
3. How I wish!
4. Go on write. Am sure it would still be fun :)
Thanks Moonlite :D

@ Beauty
An FIR on past assaults does sound like a good idea :)
And I thought u never read the comments on your blog :P

@ The Survior
But somethings just don't fade away!

@ Lakshmi
Thanks for the sympathies buddy :)
Wish u a great 2011 too...will try to be more consistent with my posts this year :)

@ bliss
Hahaha..wish I had learnt such a useful lesson too ;)
Thanks for the sweet comment. It's good to be back :)

@ its me
Nope! No smile :(

@ Nikita
Arre in my defence I was a kid and my muscles (pronounced mas-kals) weren't half as huge as what they are now ;)
Thanks and wish you a great 2011 too :)

@ Fantasies
Hahaha...unfortunately the registration number remains a mystery!

@ Adam
How I wish badla was part of the plot!
Thanks a lot buddy. That sure did boost my ego :D

TurbulentMind said...

Blunty is back!

aww, Li'l Blunt is so cute. Pity he got slapped!

your narration is, as always, so much fun :)

sakhii•• said...

i did,after 4 months :P

The Blue Periwinkle said...

OH!!
Go back and do that!!
O_O


Nice blog! :)

blunt edges said...

@ TurbulentMind
Li'l Blunt appreciates the affection ;)
Thanks buddy :)

@ Sakhi
:P

@ The Blue Periwinkle
How I wish! ;)
Thanks and welcome to Blunt Edges :)

buckingfastard said...

dude u got slapped wen u were a kid!!! dont worry happens...try not getting slapped now!! the sting hurts more now...personal experience...

oh wait...did i told u how lucky ur to get slapped by a person of ur same gender....hmm!! personal experience :P :P

iceprincess said...

damn...u shld have kicked his bloody nuts out!!!!
jerk cabbie...
hi..(grins sheepishly).....

Nikita Banerjee said...

Update soon!

cherryontop68 said...

I just started reading your blog and I like it alot! Very well written.
Do take out some time to check out my blog( I've just started blogging)
www.poppingbubble5.blogspot.com

blunt edges said...

@buckingfastard
Hahaha..kaun mai ka laal tujhe maara? ;)

@iceprincess
And u end it with a sheepish grin! LOL!

@Nikita
Want to, but out of ideas!

@cherryontop68
Thanks a lot :)
Will hop over soon :)

Raveena said...

Aww lil Blunt! :)

blunt edges said...

@ Raveena
:D

Sexmovies said...

Sometimes I would do anything to turn back time, to be able to travel back in time and to do things a little different.. :(

blunt edges said...

You ain't the only one buddy. And quite an unusual name you got there! ;)

Reflections said...

Awwww I'm actually clenching my fist right now feeling all terrible for lil blunt....wish I was there Blunty, wd have let out all the air from his tires....budda khoosat kahinka;-/

Erratic Thoughts said...

Awww!That was tough...hmmm I mite have picked up a near by stone and would have actually broken all that glass that was visible of his cab...Grrr...

Though dormant for long, you do great writing :)
~A Silent visitor

blunt edges said...

@ Reflections
Hahaha. That's real sweet of you :)
Yeah at the least, we should have flattened the tires :)

@ Erratic Thoughts
It's nice to see passionate reactions from people :D
Thanks for the nice words :)

Dhara said...

While I was coming towards the end of the write up, I thought, Blunt would wish to catch the ball or stop the ball from hitting the cab but, I was surprised and happy the write up turned out the either way.
I would have wished the same.
Very beautifully written blogs.
Following you.

DO have a quick peek on my blog if you get chance..
http://mycactusdress.blogspot.com/

blunt edges said...

@ Dhara
Sorry for the super-late reply. I have just not been in touch with the blog or the blogging world for a long long time.
Thanks a lot for the nice words :)
I'll hop on to your blog soon :)

Bhargavi Dev K said...

:(

I am sorry?

blunt edges said...

@ Bhargavi
You need not be. It happened a long time ago. :)