Bunty, Babli, etc etc

Recently my frnd (lets call her babli) told me dat her cousin bunty has won a prize in some competition in one of those malls n d organizers had called him up n asked him 2 get a couple along if he wants 2 claim d prize…bunty had asked babli if she can get someone along n I was d chosen one (I don’t even hv a say dammit)

So off we went 2 dis place…it turned out 2 be an office of a well-known holiday packages n clubbin enterprise…we got dere n met bunty…now bunty bein babli’s cousin was a shrewd guy alright…he thot up dat d more d no. of couples he tags along d more his chances of baggin dat gift…so he brought along 2 gals n babli had called another one of her guy friend (hari prasad chaurasia, HPC in short) also…dat made d 6 of us n in bunty’s words “3 couples”

We were d last 2 reach d place…d other 4 were already dere…we went in n bunty talked 2 d receptionist dere n asked her wat next…n den fell d bomb…d receptionist asked whr is d “married couple” n bunty almost had a heart-attack !!! He confirmed if wat he heard was rite…n yeah it was (but he still din hv d heart-attack)

Now none of us had heard all of dis…we were just waitin 4 bunty 2 come back n tell us wat d whole damn thing is abt…dats wen HPC decided dat we hv waited enough.

He decided 2 take matters in his own hands n went n asked bunty “Wassup bro? Anything wrong?”

A confused lukin bunty luked up 2 his savior n replied in a feeble voice, “They need a married couple!!! N both of us aren’t married na!!!”

The receptionist heard dis n said dat rules r rules n she cant help it…these 2 guys decided dat dey need 2 speak 2 her mngr n find out if dere was an alternative…dey called him up n he confirmed wat dey had just heard frm d lady on d other side of d table (note: d heart-attack still eludes bunty)

Now d 2 dejected guys came back 2 us wid their heads almost touchin d grounds…dey told us wat d matter was…n we…er…sympathized wid dem…babli started her lecture on how bunty shud hv found out wat d funda was before callin in so many ppl…n we collectively nodded our heads in silent agreement

Den suddenly HPC had dis gleam in his eyes n he luked up 2 yours truly…n 4 d 1st time in my life I realized wat on earth is telepathy…I said NO even before he opened his mouth…d others still din get wat exactly is hapng…n HPC proceeded 2 enlighten dem:
“D lady knows dat I aint married…she knows dat bunty aint married…but she has no clue abt dis guy’s (my) marital status…he can go in wid babli as a twosome n d gift will find its way into our hands!!!”
(4 some strange reason it reminded me of dis dialog frm don: “Sonia…tum jaanti ho yeh revolver khaali hai, mein jaanta hun ki yeh revolver khaali hai…magar police nahin jaanti ki yeh revolver khaali hai”)

“NO!!! I can’t do dis!”, I felt like I was talking 2 myself…no one was even listenin…dey all agreed dat dis is d brainstorm of d century n we r just lucky 2 be part of dis great conspiracy

Babli, eventhough a bit skeptical at 1st, agreed 2 go wid d flow n of course my protests were fallin on deaf ears…so dere we were d “married couple” of d day… bunty introduced us 2 d receptionist as THE couple…n d lady gave a wry smile indicating pretty well dat she knew dis was a stop-gap arrangement…but she wasn’t worried (why wud she be? D company was givin d prize…it wasn’t frm her pocket)

She asked my name n I decided I m gonna keep it as discreet as possible…I just said my 1st name n forged a signature by just writin down my name…she said we will hv 2 sit thru a presentation 4 an hr n a half…so dat was d deal…me n babli r a couple for 1.5 hrs n we had decided amongst d 2 of us dat we r gonna walk away wid d gift whether bunty likes it or not

We were led upstairs n den ushered into a big hall whr many couples whr sittin wid a company rep…d six of us were seated wid special emphasis on d “couple” occupyin d center seats…a rep joined us n he started a random interview…he asked twice if we guys r married n I replied wid a straight face dat we r…I cud see possible smirks on d others’ faces waitin 2 explode but I was stuck wid my dead-pan luk (never one 2 let go easily :) )

He asked stuff like whr we stay n everyone told him n den he turned 2 babli n she replied wid a “we hv made our home in…” n it suddenly dawned on me dat we were supposed 2 hv d same nest (must say I almost blew it up dere…but den babli was dere 2 save d day)

Den we filled up a form…dere was 1 column dat asked d last 3 places dat we visited n stuff…n we put in kerala (my suggestion), karwar n mysore (her suggestion)…wen we were asked abt it I spoke at length abt how kerala was (comes naturally 2 me ;) )

Dis was followed by a lady who took over d mantle of quizzing us…she started off wid a “ha boliye janaab”…a hyderabadi n a proud one at dat…she refused 2 talk in any language other dan hindi…was a pretty funny lady n talked a lot n told us abt dis holiday scheme dat dey were promoting n dats wat dey wanted d couples 4 (at last it made sense)

She even went on 2 say dat I n babli don’t exactly luk married…I pushed my chair closer 2 babli n asked “now?” Negative…so I told babli “smile” n I also smiled…now? Still negative…phew dis is beyond me.

N if we thot dis was d end…well we had some surprise left…a 3rd person came in…he was d mngr…he told us d tariff…it was a cool 1.5 lakhs…n it was a 1-day offer…so we had 2 commit den n dere…so finally we got an opening…we did some “couple discussion”…n came 2 d conclusion dat we need some more time 2 think like say around a week
Dem: “Not possible”
Us: “Bad luck den”

D packed gift was given 2 us n we filled up some feedback form n dashed out of d place…all of us huddled around as d gift was bein unwrapped…n dere came out d mega-prize 4 which all dis effort had gone in:
A set of crockery – kitchen bowls 2 be exact…n a 1-day pass 2 one of those clubs
Babli pocketed d pass n 2 bowls…bunty? Well he finally had his long-pending heart-attack!!!