Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Mic Testin…1-2…1-2

My entire school life, I had a trustworthy companion who neva left my side…someone on whom I cud always fall back on weneva d world turned against me: ladies n gentlemen plz put ur hands together 4 my childhood frnd: STAGE FRIGHT!!!

I always tried 2 avoid situations whr I had 2 speak in front of a crowd…my class was ok…but anything more meant I just disappeared from d spot! ***poof***

I hv actually run away frm my school durin “Arts Day” so dat I don’t hv 2 get on stage 4 “English Elocution”…speakin fluently in class translated 2 me bein automatically selected 4 these competitions…n all I cud do was run away wen my turn came n return after d event 2 get an earful frm my lecturer (which was way better dan getting on stage)

So dis, my frnds, was d foundation, so dat u guys knw how frightened I was of d menace dat dey call a stage!!!

Scene 1:
Me in d 9th grade…d date’s 26th Jan (note 2 my “international readers”: its republic day in India :D)…I’ m awaitin my turn 2 get on stage

One person frm every class had 2 give a speech…we had a new lecturer as our class teacher n he din knw abt my history of runnin away frm d warzone…n d ignorant guy selected me! I pleaded wid him dat I aint d right person…I also told him abt my past escapades but none of dat had any effect on him n I cudnt even run away frm dere coz I was d only one representin my class :(

So resignin 2 my fate I prepared a speech…it was a “different” speech in dat I wasn’t talking much abt 26th jan but was concentratin more on wat it meant 2 be a republic nation…a pretty gud speech on paper alright

Back 2 d scene:
Someone frm d 10th grade went 1st n I din hear a word of his speech coz I was dead tensed...my name was called next n I went onto d stage n dis is wat I said:

“gud mrng everyone…today as we celebrate one more republic day, I want 2 ask u all something…wat do u mean by republic? ***blank*** (voice choking) hmmm…wat do u mean wen u say we r a republic country? ***completely blank***
Hmmm…er…(cursin under my breath, I turn n luk at d princi) sorry sir”

Scene 2:
Me in 12th (yup we had schools till 12th)…d date’s 5th sept (note 2 my “international readers”: its teacher’s day in India :D)…I’ m awaitin my turn 2 get on stage

2 ppl frm each class had 2 give a speech…I was again chosen (dis time by a teacher who wasn’t around durin my 1st debacle) 2 represent d class…again I went thru d entire routine of explainin 2 him why I was d worst choice 4 dis noble deed…but none of it worked…n even d god-damned princi had changed (otherwise atleast he wud hv ensured dat I don’t get on stage!)

So I decided 2 keep it very simple dis time…I wil just talk abt how teachers play a huge role in our lives (wat crap!) n things like those coz dat way I don’t hv 2 memorize anything n so ders almost no chance I’ll screw up

Back 2 d scene:
My classmate finished her speech (she read out her speech!!!)…n my name was called…n den started d magic!

I was coolness personified…wid no external signs of any nervousness, I trodded calmly onto d stage…faced d audience…my modus operandi was straight-frwd…just give a single line on why teacher’s day is celebrated n den move on 2 d nonsense talk abt how teachers rock

N I did just dat…I was a picture of poise as I bluffed n bluffed n bluffed some more abt how imp teachers r 2 society n 4 d creation of a better nation…I started emphatically…continued wid ease…n ended wid a flourish!!!

D applause was deafenin n it seemed d whole world had paused 4 a moment 2 cheer dis hero who had risen frm d ashes of his last debacle n touched heights dat ordinary mortals only dream of!

But wat was dis? Amidst d sound of claps, I cud hear a few sniggers…I luked around n saw some students pointing at me n laughin like crazy…

A confused luk swept my face…dats wen a kid frm d 5th grade took pity on me n decided 2 enlighten me…he held my hand n said, “bro…teacher’s day is celebrated 2 honor d bday of Dr. S. Radhakrishnan n not Dr. Rajendra Prasad!”

I just did wat I did best…I disappeared! ***poof***


PracheE said...

hi hi.. too good

Swatiii said...

He he. Very Funny... Thank God you dint screw up the Gravity event - Cognition, you wud never get to escape ever again ;) Man you have achieved so much in your life. Caught by police, Killed a rat and to add to the list this new achievement. Cool......

maheeeee... said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
maheeeee... said...

kya Sunil... Dr Radhakrishnanan ko bhul gaya...

lage raho... badiya hai :)

Meenakshi said...

:) good one...

i guess everyone has stage fright.. some unlucky ones get through it fast and for some lucky ones make it their best friend. :)

keep writing... :)

shruti said...

Good One Sunil :D

Jitha said...

Hey :) this 1s too good Sunil!!

Laughed out so loud that ppl here surrounded me to read the content all once again :D

They loved it too...
Keep up the fun work!! :)

Suchitra said...

Wish I wer der 2 witness it..:)That day in life was surely 1 of ur milestones :D

I too had 2 forcefully enter 'pick n speak' competition in 10th grade n the topic was "Student", 2 mins... *blank*........*hyperventilating* backstage, ended up with "Student Life is a Golden Life * 50 times(or even more)... gross!!!....... I do understand *pity*..... kids in lower grades making fun of u........:)

Good one :) n humorous as always :)

Choco said...

Hahaaaa.....Look at the bright side..atleast you conquered your fear..to hell with the facts (which I did not know of btw!)...
I can empathize cause I did not have stage fright for performance but I froze every time I got called on stage to receive an award!!! Even today!!! At workplace etc!!!

Jyoti said...

Nice way of introducing 'STAGE FRIGHT'

It is almost everybody's companion. For me, it is not just a companion. It's like my best friend. Doesn't ever leave my side. Quite like your case.

"Dr. S. Radhakrishnan and not Dr. Rajendra Prasad!" -- **Poofing** was the only way out for you buddy! :P

Miss Kido said...

Good one... Seriously!!! :)

Have a great week ahead :)

***poof*** :D

iceprincess said...

snigger snigger....
but i shld i say,i admire that u still enter warzone....

Shanu said...

Man..talk abt stage fright and not talk abt me..not possible. Because if stage fright was ur best frnd..do u kno who was his best frnd? Me...poor unsuspecting me!

And ya like u..being a topper comes wit a price..i was chosen to represnt my class time and again..and fail miserably each time. Unfortunately as i hadnt mastered the skills of poofing..i wld stand rooted to the stage till sum1 actually dragged me off it..kinda like PC in Fashion **sobs**

Tat fear still stalks me..and I hate it :(

blunt edges said...

@ PracheE
thanx a lot yaar :)

@ Swatiii
lol...guess i proved i m beyond stage fright after cognition :)
yup...achieved a lot...soch raha hu dat i'll retire 2 d country side n relax 4 d rest of my life ;)
ps: i din get caught by police...it was just "small talk" :D

@ maheeeee
yeh bhi koi yaad rakhne wali cheez hai? ;)

@ Meenakshi
thank u...yup makin it ur best frnd is far more easier ;)

@ shruti
thanx m'am :D

@ Jitha
tell dem 2 read d blog regularly n also tell dem 2 tell their frenz ;)
thanx a lot 4 d great words :D

@ Suchitra
lol...so i aint d only one...n 50 times ha? OMG...u hv taken it 2 d next level my frnd ;)
thank u :D

@ Choco
even today??? lol...i suddenly feel my stage fright was on d milder side ;)

@ Jyoti
trust me...poofin always works ;)
n thanx a ton 4 followin me :D

@ Miss Kido
thank u...Seriously!!! :)
u hv a great week ahead too :)
poof back :D:D:D

@ iceprincess
arre now i m d commander-in-chief in d warzone ;) (yeah sometimes my not-so-dormant ego does take over d show) :D

@ Shanu
yeah i heard dat in schools dey give ur examples 2 teach stage fright ;)
so u r d best frnd of my best frnd? does dat make us duur ke best frenz :D:D
learn poofin yaar...will help u anyday anytime :D

sangeeta said...

LOL...Agreed u r good at bluffing but set ur facts right !!!

Loved reading it. Keep writing! :)

blunt edges said...

@ sangeeta
atlast somethin dat gets u lol...m honored :D:D:D
dis is precisely d reason why i hate facts...u always hv 2 get dem right...sigh!!! ;)

Grayquill said...

This post gives me chills down my spine. To many painful memmories. Embarassing times I guess are really quite unavoidable - I just wish they could all be taken back.
Maybe we require them to keep us humble. Hmmm...

Rubina said...

hey nice one again as alwaysss ;)
btw tat ex-frnd of urs...stage freight has been my frnd too and still is :(

Vandana said...

:D ...expressed stage fright very well with gud humour .. gud work friend :)

blunt edges said...

@ Grayquill
i guess more dan keepin us humble, dey provide us wid memories dat we can cherish...d moment mite not be pleasant...but many years down d line, arent these d things dat we rmbr?
enuf serious talk n a warm welcome 2 my blog :D

@ Rubina
lol...n 2 think i bunked class d day u gave a speech...damn ;)

@ Vandana
thanx a lot...n did u say humor? oh i din notice it...mite hv been accidental ;)

Lakshmi said...

Dropped in here to say tht U have been tagged... :) nice post,btb...so hav u got over the stage fear now?

blunt edges said...

@ Lakshmi
tagged!!! now i dont hv 2 think abt d topic 4 my next post...yay! \o/
yup...completely over it now...wonder how dat hapnd ;)

Lakshmi said...

So u want a big comment... a huge one??? Lemme see wat I can do bout it...so u r frm Pkd...cool... n I ve been to the famous PC's classes all thru out my 11 n 12th.. every sunday..it was pure plain torture...n I believe if i survived tht, I can survive anything :)n I m a life science student... mayb thts y i like to leave microscopic comments...

(Phew!!!) see ya then...Do take care...

blunt edges said...

@ Lakshmi
rofl...now i wasnt expectin dis...but it sure has me in splits!!! :D:D:D:D
n i aint from palakkad...my mom's from dere (isnt dat diff???)
thanx 4 d huge comment anyways :D

Lakshmi said...

Ur Mom's frm Pkd... tht means ur roots r here... right??? I thot it worked tht way...

Beauty and the BEast said...

awww this one was rather cute.. silly cute.. but cute!!!

Could almost imagine you wanting to crawl in a hole and hibernate till everybody forgot about the incident...

Sniff!! sweet!

blunt edges said...

@ Lakshmi
er...not sure abt dat :|

@ Beauty
"silly sweet"...hehehe...nice way 2 describe it :D
yup...dats exactly wat i wanted 2 do den...sigh...poor me :(

DPhatsez said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again

Mandan Sunny!

Poof! Classic touch! \m/

blunt edges said...

@ DPhat
ur comment is surely incomplete without dat line ;)
poof back!!! :D:D

d gypsy! said...

well, i was very gud at it...but the frst tym i really was very bad..

nyways cute funny post

damsel in distress said...

murderer!this is another side i didn't think you had! stage fright?? bah. btw-deja vu. been there,done that. been worse bro!! ippozhum chila sthalathu thalayil mundittu pogenda gathiyanu...

well, am outta blogsville soon, wish i get to see one post of urs that doesn't spill good old tough english blood before i go!!!


blunt edges said...

@ d gypsy
d 1st time's always diff...lol dat sentence has so many meanings ;)

@ damsel
whr u goin????
lol on d head coverin scene ;) kayillirrupu angane alle :P

IcE MaiDeN said...

hey first time here.. n u hav me sniggering :P :D

i never had stage fright, n whn i did mess my lines up i grinned :P :D thts all. no disappearing act. lolz. :)

Will b back to read up more,


blunt edges said...

@ Annie
welcome 2 d most excitin place on blogosphere ;)
ahhh...lucky r those who neva had stage fear...i so soooo sooooooo envy dem!!!
will jump on 2 ur shores soon :D

Rachana said...

Hey.... we share the childhood friend!!..lol

Good read, pretty funny too!!... but, did you actually go on, later and create history?... u know, the sorts we lesser mortals dream of? :P

riddhi said...

hehe :) That's like prefix and suffix for all the posts. Anyhow, stage fright can be real real bad. Aap toh saste mein choot gaye..

You reminded me of my stage days. As in I have had many many more and that too peaceful ones. But with me, I was born with a silver microphone in my mouth.

So, whenever there is a function school/college/home I will be given the responsibility to handle the stage stuff.. so m like a trained MC... especially the tuccha ones like annual days and all.... I sound like Akashwani RJ then because most of the times it had to be in hindi.

I learned a few words like 'kartal dhwani' that is 'applause' :P So, for the post I would like to give you 'kartal dhwani'

and another piece of advice..

Whenever on stage remember the DUCK .. I mean duck the batakh. She is always so calm and peaceful above the water. We never get to know that below it, her two little feet are flapping like the most nervous and pareshan creature.

So, make sure people do not see the under water bit of you..

After the pravachan from guru maa riddhi happy birthday to Rajendra Prasad. :P

blunt edges said...

@ Rachana
whoa...so we got common frenz ;)
yup...i kinda did...hv won prizes 4 yappin on stage :D
well wat do i say...my life is d kinda stuff dat movies r made of (aint i modest?) :D:D:D

@ riddhi
late lathif :P
but den u more dan made up 4 d delay wid dat super-huge comment...dats easily d longest comment i hv ever got...heil riddhi :D:D:D
lol...in hindi? hv neva talked on stage in any lang other dan english...n i dont think i m gonna do in d future too!
oh i din knw 'duck d batakh' flaps around like crazy beneath water...shud try lukin at it more closely d next time around :D
ps: wats d masculine form of duck? ;)

Payal said...

hehe so cute..but that's bad na..it was just a lil mistake, no? why snigger? i feel sorry for u.. :|

psst..i have that fear, too..badddd!!

rain girl said...

wow.. soo cute!! i feel bad for u.. why did they laugh at such a silly mistake? not fair!!

u did good..i have never, ever been able to shake off the stage fright..even after a dance performance (which i screwed up)...


♪♪HARINI♪♪ said...

nice post!! and great blog you have here!! you know, im out of schooool this year and im still afraid of speaking in public. deep down im not scared one bit, but i just fumble on stage, not at the crowd...

blunt edges said...

@ Payal
:D dat was a sweet comment...so u in d same club ha? not a nice place na ;)
welcome 2 my blog :D:D

@ rain girl
in school, u dont need a great reason 2 laugh at others...anythin (n i repeat ANYTHIN) will do...dats why school's r so great! :D
even after a dance performance? whoa...now u settin new records out here ;)

thanx a lot...n fumble as much as u can now...after some years, u'll rmbr more of wen u screwed up dan d ones dat went off ok :)
welcome 2 my blog :D

Bride2bee said...

ah stage fear! I have had my share of it. Though I must confess I didnt goof up quite as blatantly as this :P

What an entertaining school time you must've had!

blunt edges said...

@ Bride2bee
entertainin wud be an understatement ;)
thinkin abt it...goofin up kinda comes naturally 2 me :D

Jyoti said...

Hey! You've been tagged! :)


blunt edges said...

@ Jyoti
hoppin over :)

Shanu said...

Oye bluntva..naya post kahe naahi likha?

blunt edges said...

@ shanu
jaldi likhunga huzoor...woh kya hai na...hum thode busy the...aap thoda aur wait kijiye...sabr ka wine strong hota hai ;)

Rane (The Orchid with All Shades Pink) said...

hahahaha that was an interesting way to describe incidents relating to stage fright.. it is that freezing feeling... enjoyed reading this one.. funny how life gives us those tough times which make us smile on them later.. good going and nice blog.. :) following you..

blunt edges said...

@ Rane
glad u liked it :)
n the stage is a crazy place 4 sure...thanx a ton 4 followin :D:D
will hop on 2 ur shores soon :)

Reflections said...

Atleast u conquered ur fear...Good for U!!!!!

I suffer from the same fear infact I even panic if I have more than 6 visitors in my living room..I play safe & get the husband to carry the chai & biskuts just incase I drop the tray;-/

Nice post....had a good laugh!!!!!

Reflections said...

Incase u r wondering I came here thru Silverine:-)

blunt edges said...

@ Reflections
lol...the husband sure does have a job in his hand ;)
thanx 4 the nice words n a warm welcome here :D

workhard said...

Stage fright.. ughhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

Domain registration india

blunt edges said...

@ workhard
yeah :(

Bhargavi Dev K said...

It hurts to read >_< Couldn't put myself through it. The fact that I know the story helped me decide on skipping this post. So... the rest of the post (older ones obviously) are all in SMS lingo?? *scratches head* *wonders if I should just stop here*

blunt edges said...

@ Bhargavi
Good call that (stopping at this post, that is). :)