Mic Testin…1-2…1-2

My entire school life, I had a trustworthy companion who neva left my side…someone on whom I cud always fall back on weneva d world turned against me: ladies n gentlemen plz put ur hands together 4 my childhood frnd: STAGE FRIGHT!!!

I always tried 2 avoid situations whr I had 2 speak in front of a crowd…my class was ok…but anything more meant I just disappeared from d spot! ***poof***

I hv actually run away frm my school durin “Arts Day” so dat I don’t hv 2 get on stage 4 “English Elocution”…speakin fluently in class translated 2 me bein automatically selected 4 these competitions…n all I cud do was run away wen my turn came n return after d event 2 get an earful frm my lecturer (which was way better dan getting on stage)

So dis, my frnds, was d foundation, so dat u guys knw how frightened I was of d menace dat dey call a stage!!!

Scene 1:
Me in d 9th grade…d date’s 26th Jan (note 2 my “international readers”: its republic day in India :D)…I’ m awaitin my turn 2 get on stage

Background:
One person frm every class had 2 give a speech…we had a new lecturer as our class teacher n he din knw abt my history of runnin away frm d warzone…n d ignorant guy selected me! I pleaded wid him dat I aint d right person…I also told him abt my past escapades but none of dat had any effect on him n I cudnt even run away frm dere coz I was d only one representin my class :(

So resignin 2 my fate I prepared a speech…it was a “different” speech in dat I wasn’t talking much abt 26th jan but was concentratin more on wat it meant 2 be a republic nation…a pretty gud speech on paper alright

Back 2 d scene:
Someone frm d 10th grade went 1st n I din hear a word of his speech coz I was dead tensed...my name was called next n I went onto d stage n dis is wat I said:

“gud mrng everyone…today as we celebrate one more republic day, I want 2 ask u all something…wat do u mean by republic? ***blank*** (voice choking) hmmm…wat do u mean wen u say we r a republic country? ***completely blank***
Hmmm…er…(cursin under my breath, I turn n luk at d princi) sorry sir”

Scene 2:
Me in 12th (yup we had schools till 12th)…d date’s 5th sept (note 2 my “international readers”: its teacher’s day in India :D)…I’ m awaitin my turn 2 get on stage

Background:
2 ppl frm each class had 2 give a speech…I was again chosen (dis time by a teacher who wasn’t around durin my 1st debacle) 2 represent d class…again I went thru d entire routine of explainin 2 him why I was d worst choice 4 dis noble deed…but none of it worked…n even d god-damned princi had changed (otherwise atleast he wud hv ensured dat I don’t get on stage!)

So I decided 2 keep it very simple dis time…I wil just talk abt how teachers play a huge role in our lives (wat crap!) n things like those coz dat way I don’t hv 2 memorize anything n so ders almost no chance I’ll screw up

Back 2 d scene:
My classmate finished her speech (she read out her speech!!!)…n my name was called…n den started d magic!

I was coolness personified…wid no external signs of any nervousness, I trodded calmly onto d stage…faced d audience…my modus operandi was straight-frwd…just give a single line on why teacher’s day is celebrated n den move on 2 d nonsense talk abt how teachers rock

N I did just dat…I was a picture of poise as I bluffed n bluffed n bluffed some more abt how imp teachers r 2 society n 4 d creation of a better nation…I started emphatically…continued wid ease…n ended wid a flourish!!!

D applause was deafenin n it seemed d whole world had paused 4 a moment 2 cheer dis hero who had risen frm d ashes of his last debacle n touched heights dat ordinary mortals only dream of!

But wat was dis? Amidst d sound of claps, I cud hear a few sniggers…I luked around n saw some students pointing at me n laughin like crazy…

A confused luk swept my face…dats wen a kid frm d 5th grade took pity on me n decided 2 enlighten me…he held my hand n said, “bro…teacher’s day is celebrated 2 honor d bday of Dr. S. Radhakrishnan n not Dr. Rajendra Prasad!”

I just did wat I did best…I disappeared! ***poof***