My First Time

 

 

"The first time, they say, is always special.

The first time, they say, is always memorable.

The first time, they say, is the best."

My first time was in college. I had stayed in the college hostel for the first sem. N after 5 or so months of terrible food, a terrible timetable n an even more terrible warden, we shifted. “We” is a group of 4: me (has there ever been a “we” without a “me”), Idiot, SG n Langda.

Note: These characters (yup they really were some characters!) have made fleeting appearances in A Police Story and Jhumbalaka Jhum.

So “we” found ourselves an apartment n started a new life without any warden, without any timetable n most importantly without any food. Idiot n Langda claimed they can cook like a dream, guess all they meant was they can cook IN their dreams. So we ended up eating outside all the time!

Now the problem was that we almost always skipped breakfast coz by the time we woke up n pulled ourselves to college, it would be late. N we all being quite “liberal” eaters, this directly affected our academic performance ;)

Then one day Idiot came with the news that a lady in the building provides breakfast to many families there. He suggested that even we should try this breakfast outsourcing thing to which we all readily agreed coz when it comes to matters of food, no one argues with Idiot!

So it was decided! The lady was assigned the honour of getting us the 1^st meal of the day every morning n we could no longer give “lack of breakfast” as an excuse for not performing well in the exams!!!

N thus started our tryst with idlis, dosas, neer dosas n the like. She used 2 get it by 7.30 every morning and we had to tell her how many plates she should get the next day. Plain n simple.

The food was good, we were happy, but for some reason, our grades never improved!

The lady knew only kannada and only SG knew the language of the land. So we were at his mercy 2 talk 2 her every day. One day SG wasn’t there and this lady came n said something, which by our loose translation skills meant: “My kid will bring in the food tomorrow”

Now this lady had 2 children: a teenage daughter and a school-going son. We got into a guessing game about who would bring the food the next day. No points for guessing who the favourite was! :D

So the next morning, the 3 of us woke up early n waited for the breakfast to arrive. The bell rang! I beat the other 2 to open the door. N there was a 10-year old kid standing at the door with our food.

***Collective sigh***

Sadly, I took the food and passed it to Langda, who, even more sadly, took it to the kitchen. The kid hung around to get back his plates n all of us just ignored him. That’s when he asked me THE question: “Mummy asked how many plates should I get tomorrow uncle?”

***Silence***

“Uncle?”

***More silence***

“UNCLE?”

“OK! Four, FOUR, FOURRR!”, I think I might have shouted!

He ran off scared. My friends were still in shock. N not a single soul spoke for 5 whole minutes. N the silence broke after exactly 5mins, when Idiot asked, “Breakfast anyone?”

N that’s the first time someone called me “uncle”.

"The first time, they say, is always special.

The first time, they say, is always memorable.

The first time, they say, is the best."

Wish I could get my hands on the moron who said that!