Wednesday, September 9, 2009

My First Time


 
 
"The first time, they say, is always special.
The first time, they say, is always memorable.
The first time, they say, is the best."

My first time was in college. I had stayed in the college hostel for the first sem. N after 5 or so months of terrible food, a terrible timetable n an even more terrible warden, we shifted. “We” is a group of 4: me (has there ever been a “we” without a “me”), Idiot, SG n Langda.
Note: These characters (yup they really were some characters!) have made fleeting appearances in A Police Story and Jhumbalaka Jhum.
So “we” found ourselves an apartment n started a new life without any warden, without any timetable n most importantly without any food. Idiot n Langda claimed they can cook like a dream, guess all they meant was they can cook IN their dreams. So we ended up eating outside all the time!
Now the problem was that we almost always skipped breakfast coz by the time we woke up n pulled ourselves to college, it would be late. N we all being quite “liberal” eaters, this directly affected our academic performance ;)
Then one day Idiot came with the news that a lady in the building provides breakfast to many families there. He suggested that even we should try this breakfast outsourcing thing to which we all readily agreed coz when it comes to matters of food, no one argues with Idiot!
So it was decided! The lady was assigned the honour of getting us the 1st meal of the day every morning n we could no longer give “lack of breakfast” as an excuse for not performing well in the exams!!!
N thus started our tryst with idlis, dosas, neer dosas n the like. She used 2 get it by 7.30 every morning and we had to tell her how many plates she should get the next day. Plain n simple.
The food was good, we were happy, but for some reason, our grades never improved!
The lady knew only kannada and only SG knew the language of the land. So we were at his mercy 2 talk 2 her every day. One day SG wasn’t there and this lady came n said something, which by our loose translation skills meant: “My kid will bring in the food tomorrow”
Now this lady had 2 children: a teenage daughter and a school-going son. We got into a guessing game about who would bring the food the next day. No points for guessing who the favourite was! :D
So the next morning, the 3 of us woke up early n waited for the breakfast to arrive. The bell rang! I beat the other 2 to open the door. N there was a 10-year old kid standing at the door with our food.
***Collective sigh***
Sadly, I took the food and passed it to Langda, who, even more sadly, took it to the kitchen. The kid hung around to get back his plates n all of us just ignored him. That’s when he asked me THE question: “Mummy asked how many plates should I get tomorrow uncle?”
***Silence***
“Uncle?”
***More silence***
“UNCLE?”
“OK! Four, FOUR, FOURRR!”, I think I might have shouted!
He ran off scared. My friends were still in shock. N not a single soul spoke for 5 whole minutes. N the silence broke after exactly 5mins, when Idiot asked, “Breakfast anyone?”
N that’s the first time someone called me “uncle”.

"The first time, they say, is always special.
The first time, they say, is always memorable.
The first time, they say, is the best."


Wish I could get my hands on the moron who said that!

101 comments:

HaRy!! said...

yu asked me to be blunt ? :) ok Uncle... :) yur first time is memorable..he he...funny yu :) poor kid he ran mad...!cya around

HaRy!! said...

and hey..yu there on FB?

buckingfastard said...

maybe u start keepin candies in ur pocket fr those uncle-calling-kids..

and thnk god it wasnt da teenage gal to use never-to-be-used-for-nyone-under-50 word!!

Amrita said...

:))

As the Mind Meanders said...

Well! At least he did not call you "Daddy"

Shafi said...

Lol .... uncles !!! I liked that !!

Lakshmi said...

Lol...and Yeah.. U shud be grateful tht the teenager din call u tht... tht wud have been worse..

so, Have there been any second or third times?

Srinivas said...

You know my tryst with being called an uncle, don't you??? ;) :P

Nice read! :)

Tomz said...

ha ha ha interesting buddy..and your writing style made it more interesting..

Sangeeta said...

Uncle !!! :P
Guess u got used to tis word by now ;)

Madhu said...

I am bein blunt now...u shud have had a reality check then itself..u looked like an uncle i guess..I understand the "HIGH NECESSCITy" To look good in college..but i wonder what if the girl came in??..she would have said..bhaiyyya ji?? :P:D

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

aagey se if anybody calls u uncle, tell them...Uncle mat kaho naa :)

Nikki said...

I am laughing so hard my sides hurt! Poor you! Kids can be silly...ignore them!

gkam said...

UNCLEji ne neer dosa khaaya ki nahi? :D

tch tch tch :P

iceprincess said...

haahaahaaa.........
unglileee(full on mallu ishtyle)
:P
i loved d sentence abt "cooking in their dreams"
good one.....

Choco said...

OH Nooo! You have a pic of Calvin as your profile pic..I thought you were a kid..And then you go and reminisce about your college days in a post..And then you reveal that you are an uncle!!!!!

NOW I believe you blunt edges (Just saw your last post's comment reply). You really can be Mr Mind. He has the pic of an old tree in his profile....

Shanu said...

Lol..Uncle!!

I am surrounded by uncles..poor little baby me!!

Nupur said...

Nice post, uncle!!

blunt edges said...

@ HaRy
poor kid??? correction...poor me!!!
nope...blunt edges aint on FB :)

@ buckingfastard
candies??? i would rather keep hand grenades 4 them!!!

@ Amrita
:D

@ Mr.Mind
heights of optimism Mr.Mind!

@ Shafi
glad u liked it :D
welcome 2 my blog :D

@ Lakshmi
hello...i n she were almost of the same age...the kid was ignorant n stupid (like most kids!)
n something's wrong with blogger...i can't read ur qsn :P

@ Srinivas
the u-word catches up with everyone ;)

@ Tomz
thanx a lot 4 the nice words :D

@ Sangeeta
hahahaha...u would know better :D:D

@ Madhu
i didn't look like an uncle!!! the kid was just stupid!!!
"bhaiyya ji"???? that would have been worse than the u-word!!!

@ gayathri
lol...hum paanch...p-p-panch :D

@ Nikki
"ignore them"...that's what i do!
n yeah poor me :D:D

@ gkam
nope...i skipped breakfast that day!

@ icprincess
ahhh...just the thing that was missing...a mallu ishtyle "unglileee" :P
thanx a lot buddy :D

@ Choco
I'M NOT AN UNCLE!!!
i just ran into the stupidest kid ever that day!!!

@ Shanu
hahahaha...baby u? yeah right :P

@ Nupur
Thanx...could have done without the u-word there though :P

Grayquill said...

You think you are sooooo funny. Well...I guess I gotta give it to you, that was pretty funny.

Zeba said...

Uncle? Awwwwwwn. I have never been called an aunty!! Beat that.

Reflections said...

Superb...simply too good:-D!!!!!!

I kinda guessed the first time wdn't be, u know, what it was supposed to be but didnt ever think it wd be like this.

I really had a good laugh!!!!!

Nim said...

hehe!! funny stuff... I wonder how my first experience of being called an Aunty would be like???
Not very pleasant obviously...

blunt edges said...

@ Grayquill
now r u being sarcastic there my friend??? ***raised eyebrow***

@ Zeba
hmmmm...lucky u...but then its just a matter of time buddy (hopefully!) ;)

@ Reflections
now was the title misleading? i never thought of that :P
thanx 4 the great words :D:D

@ Nim
it would be terrible...n there r chances it might scar u 4 life...don't say i didn't warn u!!!

Ashish said...

First time is always special, be it anything:D Nice blog!

bliss said...

ooooh that must have hurt!!!! smart kid, ran for his life!!!! but yeah, my sympathies for u!!! :P

Nim said...

oh yeah... thank you for the warning...

blunt edges said...

@ Ashish
first time sure is special...hope ur 1st visit here was also special :D

@ bliss
thanx...i could do with all the sympathies i can get ;)
n welcome 2 blunt edges :D

@ Nim
the pleasure's all mine :D:D:D

Post Script said...

Uncle ?!!!??!! ROFLMAO. Wow I feel so childish again.

My sympathies. Uncle.

blunt edges said...

@ Post Script
hahahaha...sympathies accepted amigo! :D:D
n a warm welcome 2 blunt edges :D

Miss Komal said...

UNCLE...

Hmm..... :D

ab tau aadat pad gayi hogi ..

Achha post hai :-)

Ah ! first times... ;-)

Post Script said...

Make that amiga.

blunt edges said...

@ Miss Komal
oye koi aadat-vaadat nahi padi!!!
that kid was dumb!!! ;)

@ Post Script
aye aye captain :D

Bride2bee said...

and here I was thinking only women were defensive about being called 'aunty'

Anita :) said...

OMG thats was absolutely hilarious, uncle!

The pale observer said...

Great little story.. and we all thought it was the first time for something else... :)

Great witty blog! Glad I found it. Will follow!!

Cheers

Holli in Ghana

blunt edges said...

@ Bride2bee
its a very very toucht topic my friend ;)

@ Anita
thanx a lot...uncle? grrr!!! :P

@ The pale observer
lol...i must admit the title was a tad misleading ;)
thanx a ton 4 following...will visit ur shores soon :D

Archana said...

Hahah Uncle hmm? OUcch, lol. That's hilarious. I know the feeling, well not being called uncle, but being called Aunty!! I was like wtf?? Though the kid was tiny, so I guess from his point of view looking up at me, he figured I was "old enough" to qualify for being an Aunty. While I was taking my dog for a walk, he was like "Aunty, can I pet your dog please?". Though I told him he could, but that he could call me Didi or Akka instead. :P

blunt edges said...

@ Archana
ahhh...welcome 2 the club...glad 2 know i ain't alone :D
well i guess u were pretty polite 2 the kid...though i was in no mood 2 be civil 2 him ;)

Cursed♪♫ said...

Hi Uncle :D
I just came across your blog.
Entertaining story :p
hehe!
Kidding

blunt edges said...

@ Cursed
that's some name u got there!!!
n who uncle? what uncle? :P
thanx 4 liking it...n welcome 2 blunt edges! :D
will visit ur shores soon :)

Extremity said...

see im first to ur blog..and read the first lines and thought oh! som1 who described himself as a collective of 'bits' wont write poetry..so i read on..
boy was it hilarious..uncle! double hilarious!!
will keep blunting on..thanks :)

mentalie said...

you totally had me fooled with your title and image :D the first time is memorable indeed!

Shanu said...

Blunty..kya hogaya hai re tereko..tere comments din ba din chote hote jaa rahe hain..ek jamana tha..ur comments were longer thn my posts...tu badal gaya hai :(

blunt edges said...

@ Extremity
lol...now i wonder from where u got that collective bits thingy ;)
glad u liked it...n welcome 2 blunt edges :D

@ mentalie
now u got a unique name there!
memorable it sure was :D
welcome 2 my blog :D

@ Shanu
hahahaha...nahi yaar...its been a hectic week...i had my exams too...aaj khatam hua...don't worry ab se i'll get back 2 writing long comments again...khush bachha? :D

Extremity said...

arre..from ur profile only..ahem..bit smart,bit over smart..bit under smart..bit that..bit this.. :)

Extremity said...

arre..from ur profile only..ahem..bit smart,bit over smart..bit under smart..bit that..bit this.. :)

blunt edges said...

@ Extremity
oh ok ok ok...i didn't get it the 1st time around...thanx 4 enlightening this poor soul :D

As the Mind Meanders said...

Blunty...

Go back to Chocos blog... we gotta start writing a song to keep her blogging....

You start the process my friend... one line is all it will take...

blunt edges said...

@ Mr.Mind
aye aye captain!!!

IcE MaiDeN said...

hahahhaahhaha!!!!
interesting read! :P

u know whn i started to read d post, i took some rather far-fetched and liberal guesses abt the 'first time' in question... :P

lolz! :P

Cheers to u Uncle! :P
Annie.

blunt edges said...

@ Annie
lol...maybe someday i'll write a post on the 'first time' that u guessed ;)

Beauty and the BEast said...

hahahahhahahahahahha!!Phew! Uncle!!

OMG!! I always knew there was a good reason why I stayed away from kids!!

Cant imagine what being called 'Aunty!" or worse "Auntyji!!" will do to my self image!

rain girl said...

tch! tch! poor you.. still a kid.. :P

blunt edges said...

@ Beauty
it can break u down...n bring u 2 ur knees...4 the 1st time in my life i skipped bfast voluntarily just coz of it! that's how terrible it is!!! :(

@ rain girl
poor me indeed! :(

damsel in distress said...

didja see you are featured as one among the "Best of this week" at silverine's blog!!!!! gee am now turning a dangerous shade of green!!!!!!! bleee!!!!

uncle..serves you right.:P

blunt edges said...

@ damsel
is it????? ***goes 2 siverine's blog 2 check it...sees it...has a YAHOO moment...posts a comment there...comes back through the link on her blog...acts cool***

all in a day's work my friend ***does a jig***

Grayquill said...

In the jungle the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tongiht...Time to go to work the animals are getting hungry. We need blunt edges fodder - Okay its been two weeks since your last post. Have you been a little busy? Carve out a little post for us hungry animals in blogland.

oRange* said...

haha! nice, i liked ur style of writing!

and what they say is absolutely right ..the first time is always special and memorable :)

cool blog!

Cursed♪♫ said...

You Uncle :D
Thanks for visiting my blog too. Do come back again :)

Rajlakshmi said...

Haha hillarious.. What a tragedy uncle! :) poor kid he mus be at his wits end figuring out the reason of ur anger

Pree-yea said...

LMFAo. Uncle! :D

blunt edges said...

@ Grayquill
hahahaha...have been very busy buddy...had visited home during the weekend...n now have come back 2 lots of work...will come up with a post soon hopefully...till then the animals can sip diet coke! ;)

@ oRange*
thanx a lot 4 the wonderful words...memorable yeah...special errr...i rather not comment on that! ;)
a warm welcome 2 blunt edges :D

@ Cursed
its a pleasure...will be back :D

@ Rajlakshmi
poor kid??? what about poor me??? ;)
welcome 2 blunt edges :D

@ Pree-yea
thanku thanku :D
welcome on board :D

Nikki said...

Update please!

blunt edges said...

@ Nikki
Will do it soon m'am! :D
just been a hectic week...n the weekend promises 2 be no different!

Aparna said...

And you called me a person from THAT generation? Hahaha, I am feeling vindicated. I hope you now know that there would always be someone younger than you.
Your comment gave me an idea and I wrote en entire LONG post on it.

Lakshmi said...

Bluntu...Long time no see... ???

Choco said...

@Blunty
Just saw Mr Minds last comment...Grrr

But you are wanting to celebrate a monthiversary, aren't you? October 9th...
I think a post will be nicer than that... :(

blunt edges said...

@ Aparna
lol...n u remebered that!!!
yes m'am i have learnt my lesson :P
will check out ur post soon! :D

@ Lakshmi
been a lil busy...will be back soon :D

@ Choco
so now u know how it all started...don't u? :D
i wasn't planning on a "monthiversary" but looks like i might well be on the way to that! ;)

Reflections said...

Its been a month now...how come no new posts??????

Busy????

blunt edges said...

@ Reflections
yes boss...have been very busy lately...didn't read other blogs also much...catching up now...will write soon hopefully :D

Cursed♪♫ said...

Well..totally romantic...Nahh!! Not really. Depends on my mood, you know :)

blunt edges said...

@ Cursed
oh ok...just said that coz ur last 3 posts were out n out romantics! :D

Tomz said...

hi blunt edges..no new updates?

blunt edges said...

@ Tomz
caught up with work dude...will update soon! :D

Cursed♪♫ said...

Actually, earlier I only wrote dark stuff, so thought of a change :)

Ashley said...

“OK! Four, FOUR, FOURRR!”, I think I might have shouted!
ROFL!!! You are funny with a Capital "F"!!!

Blog hopped here and absolutely love your awesome sense of humour. :)

blunt edges said...

@ Cursed
oh ok...n i have been stuck with the same kinda writing since the beginning of time...or was it the start of this blog ;)

@ Ashley
thanx a ton 4 the nice words...u made my day :D
welcome 2 blunt edges :D

riddhi said...

ok now very very very late indeed.. As because of the time i took to read your blog you have now stepped from boyhood to 'unclehood' i like that.. :P
Reminds me of that godrej hair dye add "aunti aunti aunti' an then 'uncle uncle uncle.. hahhaha.. poor u
By the way u can now tell your girlfriend "we will live and 'dye' together"
lolz
Miss u blunt.. i mean missed reading u.. i sound so mushy..eeewww. mafi
take the cares.. as they say immunity ka fark hai bas..

blunt edges said...

@ riddhi
hahaha...the busy lady is back!!!
n with such a wonderful comment...funny n sweet at the same time...thanx yaar...happy diwali :D

Miss Komal said...

HAPPY DIWALI TO YOU TOO ! :-)

Sangitha said...

uncle loosely translated means 'mamen' so chill.. :P
Bloghopped here n muz say d one hour i spent reading ur posts was humorous.. Especially dat post abt killng d rat or mouse..(watever u call it) Jhumbalaka Jhum!! hurr hurr.. Lol :D Reminded me of the cockroach killing incidents at home..
Following u.. Tk cr.. And hey happy diwali.. :)

blunt edges said...

@ Komal
:D

@ Sangitha
be it uncle or mamen...its not welcome!!! ;)
welcome 2 blunt edges...n thanx 4 all the great words :D:D:D
n its great 2 know someone read my earlier posts...most new readers just read the latest one!
u take care too...n have a wonderful diwali :D

Cursed♪♫ said...

Hi!!
Happy Diwali :)
Thanks for your comment. This time I've posted something new. :D

blunt edges said...

@ Cursed
happy diwali 2 u too! :D
will jump onto ur shores immediately!

Cursed♪♫ said...

Give me a tag line for that basket ball picture !!

Shanu said...

Bluntu lazy bones...naya post likha hai ki I have to tag u to wake u outta ur stupor??

blunt edges said...

@ Cursed
lol...talk about putting one's foot in the mouth...now i can't think of anything...the only basketball term i can think of is 'slam dunk'!

@ Shanu
i so so so want 2 write...just can't think of any topic...i have 2 tags against my name...but no modd 4 tags! :(

Shanu said...

Kya yaar...dont give me the 'i cant think of nethin to write' excuse or I will have to play my 'the embrssin blog incident' card agn!

Shanu said...

here is an idea..why dont u write abt that girl u have a crush on ;)

blunt edges said...

kaunsi wali? ;)

n considering my nature, by the time i finish writing a post, the crush would have worn off! ;)

riddhi said...

heheh come on.. blunt the very idea behind having 'crushes' is that they get crushed :P
happens with me all the time

So as dylan puts it 'don't think twice it's alright'
go ahead just do it the nike way..
likho toh.. vaise m also thinking on wat to write..

blunt edges said...

@ riddhi
lol..."crushes get crushed"?...as in the "crush after use" kinds ;)
hell that line has so many meanings...lol :D:D:D

Meenakshi said...

hilarious post.. well told.. reminds me of so many bits and pieces that happened while I was at hostel.. thanks for the inspiration and three cheers to the kid ..
Hail Uncle Blunt!!

waiting for more mosts..its about two months.. why no posts?

Grayquill said...

Just so you know I hate diet coke.
Who do you care most about?
Have you ever had your heart broken?
What is more important. Talent or focus?
What is the most important thing you have learned this year?
A couple of ideas - the diet coke is really getting to me.

Cursed♪♫ said...

Lol ok :)
When are you planning to post huh ? Check out my new one

blunt edges said...

@ Meenakshi
thanx a lot :D
all blog ideas had deserted me! :(

@ Grayquill
1. i actually like diet coke! its probably the only 'diet' thing that i like!
2. i care most about my family, i can start a lil blunt series but it might end up like lil grayquill n lil choco ones!
3. yup. don't wanna blog about it though. maybe a year or so later.
4. no idea about talent n focus. i don't have either!
5. this year? hmmm...do people learn something ever year?

thanx a lot grayquill :D

@ Cursed
will post very soon!
but i'll check out your post first! :D

Anonymous said...

Shalom

It is my first time here. I just wanted to say hi!

blunt edges said...

@ Anon
hello :)

Bhargavi Dev K said...

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Hahahahaha :P #Unkeeel

blunt edges said...

@ Bhargavi
Laugho laugho :P