Sunday, May 23, 2010

Gang War

Final year of college. A time when life is simple. A time when nothing worries you. A time when you command respect. A time when you are king of the world (er...if not the world, at least king of the college!)

Langda came home one day all furious and angry.
Idiot: “Wassup?”
Langda: ***Angry stare***
Idiot: “Some girl turned you down again?”
Langda: ***Angry stare***
Idiot: “Some professor yelled at you in class again?”
Langda: ***Angry stare***
Idiot: “You have attendance shortage again?”
Langda: ***Angry stare***
I and SG (Smart Guy) were watching this interesting episode unfold in front of us.
SG (to me): “Do you think we should tell Idiot to stop blabbering after Langda breaks his nose or before?”
Me: “You actually have doubts on that? After of course!”
Langda: “A first year guy challenged me to a fight and there were girls around when he did it.”
Me: ***Stifled laugh***
Idiot: “And what did you do?”
Langda: “I didn’t do anything. He was huge.”
Me: ***Another stifled laugh***
SG: “Boy this is embarrassing.”
Langda: “You don’t think I know that!”
SG: “I’m sure you know that. I was just trying to rub it in some more.”
Me: ***Bursts out laughing***

Langda made a plan to go the junior’s place at night and scare the living crap out of him. The script, screenplay and dialogues are all ready and put in place. All friends who have bikes and cars are called up to set up the ambience.

At exact 9pm, 5 bikes and 1 maruti 800 screeched to a halt in front of the junior’s place. Our roles were clearly defined. Langda, Idiot, SG and DrunkA were supposed to go and talk. The rest of us had to just keep on accelerating the bikes. In exactly ten minutes, I had to enter the scene and say the stupidest line of my life, “Hey guys make it fast. We need to go meet the Triggers at Kainos also.” (Triggers was a fictional “gang name” and Kainos was a pub nearby. I wasn’t even sure if they would get what we were trying to mean with “Triggers”, but then what the heck I was just an actor and all I could do was obey the director.)

And wait, I had some more stuff to do. My second line would be, “Which is the guy?”
SG would point out the guy to me and I’ll give him a threat-filled look in slow-motion from head to toe and back to head.

Sick, I know.

So we reached there at 9pm. We waited near the gate and the foursome went in. Idiot rang the bell and waited. Around 4-5 juniors lived there and we were 14 cool (apparently) people.

SG was supposed to give the opening line. The rest were to start after that. The junior opened the door and was flummoxed to see the crowd. Langda, Idiot and DrunkA were waiting for SG to start, but they didn’t hear a single word. They turned around to look at SG, who had held up a finger pointing at the junior, but no voice came out. Stage fright had gripped SG and he just couldn’t talk!

The entire effect created by the “gang” was wilting off. A smirk seemed to be appearing on the junior’s face. The remaining three weren’t prepared for this scenario. DrunkA realized it was time he came forward and took the initiative.


DrunkA slapped the junior right across the face. Everyone was stunned. This wasn’t planned. All the effect and more came back. The scene turned way grimmer than what we had anticipated. The rest of them said a few words and I thought its best to enter the scene and finish the whole drama.

“Hey guys make it fast. We need to go meet the Triggers at Kainos also,” I shouted.
 The guys came back and as planned I asked SG, “Which is the guy?”
 SG pointed at the junior.

I put on the coolest look in my armoury and nodded my head and looked at him from head to toe slowly and back up. And then I noticed him looking at me up and down with much more anger and humiliation venting out of his eyes, courtesy the slap.

“Damn!” I muttered under my breath as we left the place.


Choco said...

LOL!!! What did he do to you Blunt??? :))

Well. If it is any consolation. At least there were no girls around!:p :D

PS: If you had not been "Me", what would your abbreviation/nickname be?

Choco said...

Ooooh...Unn-believable. Me first!!! :o

Adam said...

hehehehe.. I am laughing my ass off here.. :D Fantastic.. I was part of one of these scare gangs in my PU and I had gone on my Luna.. :P (Parents I tell u, don't care abt ur reputation). The guy had somehow heard abt us coming and had assembled his own gang, much bigger and meaner looking than us! We had a nice talk and settled it there, without any slapping or fighting. :) Man,I love college incidents like these.. Good one Blunt bhai!!

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

:) :) sach bol blunty kitne maar khaye tune?

Grayquill said...

Young men, bored, way too much testosterone, reputations to build or maintain, proving manhood, anger sometimes simmering under the surface, and hilarity at its beckon call make plenty of room for things to go sideways.
You gotta give DrunkA credit he took action – too bad he was drunk.
FYI – keep SG away from the stage or give him a non speaking part in the future.
Oh and lastly – find some bigger friends.
Funny? Sad? Yes, for both.

Pan said...

hilarious post but the end sort of fizzled out. was expecting a grand finale aka bollywood style! ;)

buckingfastard said...

ohh..gud old days when seniors used to rag juniors...come 2010...

guy1: "abbe juniors aa rahe hai...nikal le...nahi to mare jayenge"

guy2: "par humne to kuch kiya bhi nahi"

guy1: "arre if dey tak to us..and den complain dat we were talking wid dem...den sem back mere bhai!!"

both run off...i m guy2

darklove said...

kya ho ra hai yaar!

Shanu said...

Kya baat hai mere Mako man! I knew you had the potential to be a gunda rite from day 1...and I was rite wasnt I?

Aaja mere office ke paas and bhagao away a few roadside romeos, mere hero :)

βϊ₤αϨ said...

the day has already passed away ....if u want to survive start calling the junior as SIR/MA'AM..
otherwise MHRD is always there to help them to kick senior's ass

viSHwAmiTHraN said...

"fatak"..tats one nice sound..njoied!!@ our college gang wars wre bw the locals n the outers...n those wre grt times!!
@ las an appeal:
call drunka th smart guy frm nw!!:)

Sid said...

Ha ha dude did u ever confront the junior again?? And am surprised his room mates didnt put up a fight... There was a scene in my hostel where this had turned into an all-out war... Lucky u :)

Nona said...

Was there any repercussion because of this?

Madhu said...

did he hit u? Did he? Did He? LOL..u apparently cool guys need to get a life..:0 Or may be direct a quick gun murugan style action movie of ur own! What say?

P.S Laziness gaayab eh?

ritupriya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ritupriya said...

hhehehehe....i am luaghing so hard that my ass suddenly fell off...
talk about laughing ur ass off :-/ :P
haha, awwsssum post blunty :D

BrAiN FrEEzE said...

hahahhahahahahaha..!!! wat an incident.. and how nicely expressed.. the scene grips u at the end n then the **fatak**... wish i cud see that happeneing.. lol... neva seen a fist fight.. **damn** ... anyhoooo like the post... n u're BACK.. :D smilesssss..... :D

rohini said...

hahahahhahahaha/...nicely written....maja aya....:-)
PS - U got an ward...check it out

sakhii•• said...

sounds fun!!
honest post!!

moonlite:D said...

lol, rofl!! :D
all gunda types eh!!
it was fun reading :)

S said...

grand entry :) :)

Anita :) said...

But the saddest part is that, when the junior challenged him, there were girls. But when the drama took place, there were none. After all the root cause was that there were girls around rt? LOL.

And abt SG...u still call him 'SG' ?

U need more people like drunkA in such scenarios. A fan of drunkA now!!!

And I confess...I was laughing hard at the part given to you... ie 2 look at him head 2 toe :D

suruchi said...

Hellooooooooo Blunts!
Blunt Edges is back n how!
Absolutely hilarious post!
Very drama-ish...mystery, suspense, male ego, youth, humour...complete masaala post...bas love-shove he reh gaya...
Koi na...let this be for the “love” of fun writing n reading:-)

Complete LOL moments:
Your stupidest line,
“Triggers”*wonder what they’d trigger*
A threat filled look from you*YOU????????ROFLMAO*
14 cool (apparently) people
The stage fright...
N of course the end!
By the way...did you miss/edit out on the ending where you may have been bashed up? Just curious!
*thunderous applause after having pictured it all;-)*

NIM said...

Woah! What Nautanki U guys do! All this for some reputation that means nothing once out of college.
But still i'm curious ;) what did the junior do after this?
This post is like out of some Chetan Bhagat novel :P

Choco said...

Yaar. 22 people comment after me and no one compliments Blunt on his new changed header!:p
Bahut nainsafi hain! Chal koi nahin. Main hoon na.
Blunt Edges, your 2nd header rocks! Can't wait to see the rest of em along with your future posts! :D

♫♪♥Lonely Dreamer♥♪♫ said...

You rarely post, but when you do, your post is HATKE :D
Love it :)

blunt edges said...

@ Choco
he didn't do anything...hai kissi mai ke laal me itna dum ke woh humse panga le? ;)
well enough girls know now coz of the narration :)
hmmm...if it hadn't been "Me", i guess it would have been something like "Hero" :P
n yay...u are first 4 the second post in a row!
n thanks a lot 4 noticing the header choco :D
the friend has instructed me 2 not 2 publicize it too didn't mention it :)

@ Adam
LOL...i totally second u on that parents not caring about our reputation line!! :D
even we had no plans to fight...this is the price we paid 4 taking a drunk guy with us! ;)
college rocks :D

@ G3
ek bhi nahi sardar! aapki kasam! ;)

@ Grayquill
i never thought i would say this, but i totally agree with whatever u said. i found it funny then and i find it foolish now!
n nope i don't give DrunkA credit, violence was never part of the script!
LOL...i don't think SG would ever volunteer 4 a speaking part again ;)
bigger friends? sure :)
funny? really?
sad? of course!

@ Pan
yeah even i thought it fizzled out...would have loved a final flourish! :)

@ buckingfastard
LOL...times sure have changed...n i feel old! ahhh...i miss my college days!

@ darklove
kuch nahi shaabji! ;)
welcome 2 blunt edges :)

@ Shanu
LOL...hero se gunda...yeh promotion hua ya demotion? :o
roadside romeos ki yeh majaal! i'll be there...why fear when i'm here? :D

@ βϊ₤αϨ
i copy+pasted your name...what's it actually? (in english?)
i sure finished college at the right time ;)
welcome 2 blunt edges :D

@ viSHwAmiTHraN
"fatak" is cool na? ;)
ohhh...the locals n hostelites war ha? have heard about it at many places! :)
u really think what DrunkA did was smart?
n these characters have appeared repeatedly on blunt the names have stuck! :)

@ Sid
yup...passed by him a few times in college, but i ignored him casually ;)
arre it was 14 vs 4...they wouldn't be dumb enough 2 take that kinda risk! :)

@ Nona
none, apart from this post ;)

@ Madhu
na baba...he didn't hit one hits me...i'm the hero remember? :D
we began "getting a life" the morning after this utterly stupid incident! ;)
P.S.: Laziness still very much around! :D

@ ritupriya
hope u picked up your ass when u finished reading the post :P
thanks a lot ridsi :D

@ Smriti (yay i remember your name!)
never seen a fist fight? really? i saw one last week also!!
glad that u liked it, ms.critic ;)
n "fatak" is the word of the day :D

@ rohini
thank you, both 4 the award as well as the nice words :D

@ sakhii
"fatak" it is! :D
thank u :)

@ moonlite u know where munnabhai gets his inspiration from ;)

@ S
dhan te nan! :D

@ Anita
the root cause was that Langda was a jerk n we all just decided 2 have some fun at his expense ;)
called him SG in earlier just didn't wanna change the nomenclature :)
DrunkA would be happy 2 know that finally he has a fan!
now why was my line funny? wasn't it cool? ;)

@ suruchi
arre aapka fan hu...masala post toh hoga hi na ;)
n yeah now that u say i realize that love ki kami thi...maybe in another post :)
stupid name na "Triggers"?
oh hello...why can't i give a threat-wala look??? :o
n why does everyone seem 2 think that i got bashed up after this? :P
thank u 4 the applause :D

college life = nauntanki time! :D
yup...that's one time in life when the most ridiculous things seem important!
the junior? he might have cried once we left :P
Chetan Bhagat? now is that a compliment or an insult?

@ Juhi
thanks a lot :D
glad u liked it :)

Prachi said...

Hey you should have called me.. m good at this.. ;)

BrAiN FrEEzE said...

ya well a sweet name like mine n u gotta remember it.. LOL..

neva seen a fist fight man.. i keep tellin my frens.. thts one part of coll life i missed out.. **shucks**

i hope u din feel bad abt me being lil critical last time.. !! **sad face** wat to do..!! u'v been known to write well..!!!

Bikramjit said...

and then did he come for you..

well ek idea hai which we always used.. if you want to just frighten a person just wear a jacket and have one hand inside it as if u r holding something..

It works ..

But yeh batao MAAR kisko padi.. :) ha haha

Loved this article reminded me of colelgetimes when all plans were made and stuff to do ..


kanagu said...

LOL man!!! just loved this... the plan and the seniors.. ha ha ha :D :D

Superb :D :D

kanagu said...

machi is something synonymn to Aliya in Malayalam...

you know malayalam, right????

or it can be taken as dude...

blunt edges said...

@ Prachi
good at what? drinking or slapping? :P

@ Smriti
how modest are u? :P
n fights happen out of college too!
na sweat...totally open 2 criticism...chill :)

@ Bikramjit
na...contrary 2 popular opinion, we didn't have a fight post this incident ;)
i know the jacket wala idea, will try it the next time i set out on a nocturnal mission ;)
warm welcome 2 blunt edges :D

@ kanagu
thanks a lot buddy :)
oh ok...machi = aliya = dude ha? yup...i know malayalam :)

suruchi said...

Hi Blunts...
You are my fan???????*yiyee yiyee yiyee*:-)

Okay...woh love-shove waala post jaldi laana na...

N Triggers was not a stupid name...was just wondering a group that calls themselves Triggers..trigger what;-)
N knowing me my thoughts went completely triggered on that..hehe

N oye hellooooooo...
There’s a cartoon pic on display here on this page...
Of a chocolaty boy next door*I mean you could have put a Superman pic or something macho you know...err...I guess you’ve understood...samajhdaar ko ishaara kaafi hain...n u look...err...seem...very samajhdaar*

Now imagining the threat-waala look emerging on your face...
I’m just don’t take me too seriously...
*phew...that should save me:-)*

P.S.You've unleashed the second awesome header...hmmm*burning with envy*;-)

suruchi said...

Oho...zaroori baat bhool gaye:

Take care...n I am also a fan*bas fast rotate nahi kar sakte...hawa nahi dete...and switch off nahi ho sakte...baaki...pucce fan:-)*

Sonshu said...

Had me laughing! :P
Hilarious! :P

COLLEGE!!! Sounds like so much fun! :P LOL. waiting for mine to start! :P lol.

NIM said...

:P I agree that i'm not a fan of chetan bhagat, but his plots are funny and engaging. So I'd say its a compliment.

Harini said...

LOL! Toh kuch hua?? Did he do anything???

Sjmach said...

DUDE u can land urself in trouble!! Ragging is banned.

blunt edges said...

@ suruchi
vadda fan hu ji :D
i still think Triggers was a stupid name coz they didn't take my suggestion ;)
arre cartoon pic is just 2 confuse people that i'm a sweet n cute guy.
ek secret batata hu:
***looks around 2 see if anyone is around***
i'm actually very macho!
PS: yeh toh bas trailer tha, just wait till the next header is revealed fan ji...its awesome! ;)

@ Sonshu
u'll totally love it :D

yay \m/ compliment! :D

@ Harini
yeah...he probably cried after we left ;)

@ Sjmach
i know...atleast i can take heart from the fact that i didn't rag!

Anya said...

Looks very dangerous :-)

Hilarious post :)))


Rain Girl said...

LOL! Guys.. *rolls eyes* very entertaining read.. all that was missing was popcorn!

The Survivor said...

So this was beginning or the end of the Gang War?

TurbulentMind said...

Funny as usual :P totally cracked me up..wonder if there is a part 2 to this..where the junior returns or something.. :P

HaRy!! said...

Mr. Blunt...all this is trueeee?????? and btw yu there in FB?

Koo said...

LOL, I read some :P
Wish i had time to read more but i have to go now O.o

mentalie said...

hahahah. i have no idea why this reminds me of the time my brother and his friends tried to pick up a girl for the first (and last) time. her father chased them all the way home. i don't think any of them ever got over it.

Chandrika Shubham said...

lol. Like all of ur other posts this one is also very interesting! :)

blunt edges said...

@ Anya that i am! very very dangerous ;)

@ Rain Girl
act two lao ghar pe :P

@ The Survivor
er...this was THE gang war...nothing preceded or followed it! :|

@ TurbulentMind
thanks a lot :)
n no part 2 on the cards till now, unless the junior hunts us all down 4 revenge ;)

@ HaRy
true, but a bit of masala here n there ;)
n yup Blunt Edges is on FB, just search me with my mail id (i dunno yours, else i would have added u):

@ Koo
was the post that long? :o

@ mentalie
n i know exactly what kinda psychological scar that would have left on your sympathies 2 him ;)

@ Chandrika
thanks a lot :)

Tomz said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha..

What I could do was laughing only...

blunt edges said...

@ Tomz
n that, my friend, was the intention :D


Hey first time on ur blog...its nice readin sumthn abt collage days..d script was good and collage days r always fun.

Sriram said...

Haha epic :D So, just wondering, is this how them edges became blunt? :P

Shas said...

Ha ha....would love to know what happened later.
So, we have some gundas here who get stage fright :D

♫♪♥Lonely Dreamer♥♪♫ said...

How have you been?
I just got 70% :( :(

blunt edges said...

thank u n welcome 2 blunt edges :)

@ Sriram
LOL...wish i had answer 2 how n why edges became blunt! :)

@ Shas
gundas with stage ain't that a weird combo! blunt likes 2 be weird ;)

@ Juhi
i have been good...n 70 ain't all that bad...chill :)

Reflections said...

And I echo wht Gayathri says "sach bol blunty kitne maar khaye tune?


Sangitha :) said...

Stage fright took over SG.. Haha.. funny.. he doesnt seem to be that smart after all.. hope hez not reading this!! :P :D
Moral of the story: Bechara bluntu got scared of a junior.. :P
A slap packed performanc..awesome drama but bakwas dialogues.. *applause applause* :D A typical bluntish post.. :P
Btw the header looks cool.. :)

hopelessly flawed said...

simply lol!
(nice blog by the way)

blunt edges said...

@ Reflections
n i give u the same reply that i gave to G3:
"ek bhi nahi sardar! aapki kasam!" ;)

@ Sangitha
na...he has no idea that i'm writing about him ;)
thanks a lot 4 appreciating the performance, the drama, the header n the post...n also noticing the bakwas dialogues :P
n moral of the story: BLUNT NEVER GETS SCARED!!

@ hopelessly flawed
thanks a lot n welcome 2 blunt edges :)

Anonymous said...

I like your blog !!Thank you. They are really great .
do not miss my goods , they are very beautiful !!
Fashion watches
Discount watches
Antique pocket watches

Bunny said...


after all that....

Nice header


totalliemeh said...

i read this long ago, thought of commenting after my feelin bored.

yea thats me on fb.

Sayak Shome said...

Rolling On The Floor Laughing So Hard That I Roll Onto A Road And A Car Runs Over Me And I Live..
Hilarious! :D

Anonymous Someone said...

ROFL...keep writing such interesting incidents and you'll be the next Director nominated for some grand award in humour...
hahahahaha...nice very nice

When I started off with the article I was skeptic, "Gosh, am I going to read all of it?" But the thought was history after the introduction....

Blasphemous Aesthete

blunt edges said...

@ Anon
i won't miss your goods :P

@ Bunny
thank u :)
welcome 2 blunt edges :D

@ totalliemeh
so typical! :P
aha that's u!

@ Sayak
LOL...thank u :)
welcome 2 blunt edges :D

@ Anonymous Someone
when i do win the award, i'll sure mention u in my acceptance speech ;)
welcome on board :)

Amrita said...

u dont update!

blunt edges said...

@ Amrita
i wanna! just can't think of anything to write! :(

Nipun said...

Tell me man, the story after wards.
To complete by my side, i would have hit u hard..:Lolz

That was awesome man..



P.s. Long tym i c u at my space..

blunt edges said...

@ Nipun
LOL...good we weren't in the same college ;)

Anonymous said...


Fantasies of a Lifetime said...

rotfl , you dint do the right voice did you , no wonder you got back the head to toe look back :P . . .fun post !

Reflections said...

Hero, just update will u;-/

Asif said...

Oh Where are you man? It’s been two months!!!
After giving us so many wonderful things to read and enjoy, isn’t it too mean of you to leave us like this?
We are eagerly waiting for another special blunt post. (In fact expecting it to be double special as you took a longer break this time) :)

Lynda G. said...

How are you? I like this header! :D

Angel said...

hi, nice blog

Sunakshi said...

Lol was the only thing i could do while reading the post :P

Total filmy thing :P

nice blog btw!


Netha Hussain said...

My first time here :)
Ha ha..
That was hilarious..
Happy blogging.

blunt edges said...

@ Anon

@ Fantasies
I would like to believe that I did decently well :P

@ Reflections
Finally I did! :D

@ Asif
I'm mean? I like that *wicked grin*

@ Lynda
Me doing great. Glad u like it :)

@ Angel
Thank u :)

@ Sunakshi
Filmy it sure is :D
Thank u :)

@ Netha
Hope it's not the last time :)
Thanks a lot :D